What motivates a person to end themselves?
#8225793
09/30/24 12:37 PM
09/30/24 12:37 PM
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Joined: Feb 2020
Posts: 10,371 Indiana
Providence Farm
OP
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OP
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Indiana
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I got a call yesterday on my way home from hunting with my son that one of my cousins hung himself.
He is my age and went to the same high-school and later worked at a plant I worked at plant I did for a short time . We were never close and I have not seen him in probably 20 years but it still hits hard. What can make someone want to off themselves let alone by hanging?
The man was my age. Him and his sister were adopted by one of mom's cousins as young children because she could not have kids. Their last interaction 3 days before was a hateful fight I heard. I'm sure his adopted mom will have a lot to deal with there as well as his sister.
Because I have not had any contact with him in so long I keep going back to he was married and had a kid or one on the way back then. I Think he caught her cheating and got divorced and quit the job where we worked ( his father in law had been there forever) that didn't break him has me wondering what in the heck happens to him.
Mom acted like his mom said he was messed up with drugs and thats what there fight was about him asking for more money so.. likely drug issues.
story is his nurse girlfriend came home couldn't get in the bedroom something was blocking the door she got it open and found him blue hanging. Now ther is not much in most apartments you can hang yourself on and being he was blocking the door maybe rope tied off to the handle on the outside and ran over the door to the inside is all I can think of.
I can't ever understand why anyone would want to harm themselves ( short of painful prolonged illnesses that will lead to death) but least of all by hanging. Sure seems like a bad way to go. I truly wonder what goes into a person's mind and what can be done if anything to get then to a better place to avoid these outcomes.
The kids won the lottery getting adopted young into a good stable 2 parent home and the world at his finger tips. His sister I have also not seen in probably 12 years last time she looked was a single mom. I heard from another cousin that also had not seen them on about 20 he saw a face book post she made where she was covered in ink, looked silly and bad, wearing very little clothing. Doesn't sound like she is doing very well either.
It stinks I still remember them as kids playing with me at the family gatherings. What in the world happened?
I guess I just got to thinking about it because the service starts in an hour and I'm not going. Opting to spend my time at home with the family before I have to leave for work tonight. I'm not giving up even a few minutes at home with them because some soft headed move from distant family.
Last edited by Providence Farm; 09/30/24 12:52 PM.
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Re: What motivates a person to end themselves?
[Re: Providence Farm]
#8225796
09/30/24 12:43 PM
09/30/24 12:43 PM
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 5,400 MD
DaveP
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MD
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No idea. Had a childhood friend/ fishing buddy do it 40 years ago, still don't know WHY, and a relative last year. Relative was understandable, as he had been fighting cancer over 10 years, was in constant pain, and simply tired of fighting it.
No idea what is in people's heads or what they are going thru.
I'm just feel sad for those left behind...
Last edited by DaveP; 09/30/24 03:05 PM.
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Re: What motivates a person to end themselves?
[Re: Providence Farm]
#8225815
09/30/24 01:09 PM
09/30/24 01:09 PM
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 20,057 Green County Wisconsin
GREENCOUNTYPETE
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Green County Wisconsin
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adoption is a funny thing , you think they won the lottery getting good parents and in may ways they did.
but it doesn't make them not broke , they are often broke just from being given up , often they come with issues the same issues the birth parents had that made them say they couldn't raise the kids.
the nature nurture thing it's definitely some of both.
in a lot of cases . people who think about or choose suicide were just wired different basically from the start, there is always some nagging voice in their head some find a way to shut it down for a while with substances or push past it thinking they can achieve their way out of the voice.
some people go through things injury or stressors that re-wire them to think that way.
I don't know what the answer is I just know that people like you and I who just can't fathom it . it is because we are not wired that way , we also have a very hard time trying to understand those who have that miss-wired mind , what they feel or think.
because we don't even have that circuit
America only has one issue, we have a Responsibility crisis and everything else stems from it.
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Re: What motivates a person to end themselves?
[Re: Providence Farm]
#8225826
09/30/24 01:47 PM
09/30/24 01:47 PM
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 35,952 Central, SD
Law Dog
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It will become a real epidemic in the future dealing with problems is a thing of the past look at the family structures today problem solving is not being taught like it was before.
Was born in a Big City Will die in the Country OK with that!
Jerry Herbst
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Re: What motivates a person to end themselves?
[Re: Providence Farm]
#8225836
09/30/24 02:14 PM
09/30/24 02:14 PM
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 851 IL
houndone
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Posts: 851
IL
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I've got a neighbor family that has a history of it.1st one back in 1985 shot himself then the brother in 1999 by hanging himself in the dairy barn after he finished milking.the dad in 2012 standing by his sons grave by means of shooting himself.my ex daughter in law brothers both shot themselves at young ages in there 20s and I know of others.iam not sure if it's some type of chemical imbalance,depression or not.i just don't understand taking your life I consider them to be selfish individuals when they leave family members behind and never really have a answer
Last edited by houndone; 09/30/24 02:16 PM.
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Re: What motivates a person to end themselves?
[Re: Providence Farm]
#8225845
09/30/24 02:23 PM
09/30/24 02:23 PM
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,642 PA
PAskinner
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Be thankful you can not understand it. I understand it now, but could never do that to the people who love me. It's a loss of hope. For some people who don't have God, I think the demons just overwhelm them with irrational thoughts, but even if you do believe, circumstances can seem too much to deal with.
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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Re: What motivates a person to end themselves?
[Re: Providence Farm]
#8225850
09/30/24 02:33 PM
09/30/24 02:33 PM
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Joined: Apr 2022
Posts: 4,860 Wisconsin
Guss
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Weak minded people there not a better life waiting for ya just pain.
Last edited by Guss; 09/30/24 02:33 PM.
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Re: What motivates a person to end themselves?
[Re: Providence Farm]
#8225899
09/30/24 04:19 PM
09/30/24 04:19 PM
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Joined: Feb 2020
Posts: 316 Sandpoint Idaho/ Whitesboro TX
cbat
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I had a young man 17 years old working for me. This kid had life by the tail. Star football player. Straight As in school. His girlfriend of a couple years found someone else and he couldn't handle the break up. This was probably 20 years ago now. Weird thing is that I have dreamed about him the last 2 nights.
The real Wally
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Re: What motivates a person to end themselves?
[Re: Providence Farm]
#8225901
09/30/24 04:20 PM
09/30/24 04:20 PM
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 851 IL
houndone
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Posts: 851
IL
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Close to 40 years ago I drove a 15 passenger van hauling people to the factory we worked at it was about 110 mile round trip.i would pick some people up at there residence and the rest would meet in a parking lot and pick them up there.the one guy that I usually picked up first started telling me one day that he was looking down the shotgun barrel last night.this went on for a few weeks where he would bring it up once in awhile. I tried talking to him and tried to get him to go get help and that I would go with him and keep it confidential he wouldn't go.so I ended up talking to a counselor about what was going on without disclosing his name she said the reason he kept telling me this was a cry for help and usually people that do this don't end up committing suicide.i had alot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to do something.thank God she was right and he never did anything and is still living today married and 1 kid.
Last edited by houndone; 09/30/24 04:21 PM.
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