Join the Merchant Marines. Stay gone for 6 months or so then come home for a couple days to make sure your house hasn't burned down and you need to make an insurance claim. After a few years when they have left home you can come back.

If you decide to ride it out keep reminding yourself that over 99% of parents have survived it.

TRUTH

Show them consequences, let them feel some pain and disappointment.
Watch who the heck they are hanging with; even if if takes some spy work.
Watch out for sleep-overs; other parents may not be consistent with your standards.

I think people take this that the kids will be miss behaving and causing trouble , dis-obeying.

they are going to push boundaries. not always in a bad way but it will probably take you some place you never expected.

even without that it can be a troubling time especially with girls , they are trying to figure a bunch of stuff out , the world can be rather cruel , lots of big growth time but that is exhausting.

they have to learn things like how 90% of the people you end up with in a group project are going to try and do the absolute minimum and at the last minute.

they have to learn to advocate for themselves , communicate in new ways at different levels.
seeing their struggles can be heart breaking.
they are probably also going to push some boundaries but not always in the way you might think and not in a discipline/trouble way.

especially with my girls there was little hard discipline needed they wanted to meet expectations , they wanted to do well and they didn't want me to yell. I would say we more set the expectations and they wanted to meet them.

my son got in trouble once not much trouble , kids being kids just making to much noise after midnight.

but then there is the stuff that is just heart breaking like when his friend committed suicide during covid spring of 2020

another friend got his car shot up while driving home from work , a jealous boyfriend of his co-worker thought he was making moves on her. followed him home from work and unloaded on him infront of his house. crazy crap , the bullets missed him but just barely, that guy is serving a lot of time in prison for attempted murder.

just so many places can go wrong and you are trying to get them transitioned from the little kids you take care of to the adults you want them to be that can take care of themselves.

Raised mine by giving them a purpose and expectations. Idle hands and minds will find trouble even if they are not looking for it.

All were married and homeowners by 25 yrs old. My daughter and her husband have a business and a couple of farms.

Both sons have very good paying jobs.

^^^^^^^ I paid for college also.

Charles X2. Both parents need to be on the same page.
Don’t expect them to be like you
Lead by example
Never ever give up on them. No matter how bad it gets.
Hold them accountable

I truly believe it is a test from above. They don’t come with instructions. They are all different.

Good Luck. You will all survive!!!!!

First love God then.. set expectations, give responsibilities, allow them freedom to fail. Love and support their mother and let them see it and back her up. Do what you say you will and never compromise your values.

Seems to have worked with my daughter 22 and is working so far but the boys are still young yet so the jury is out if my method work.


Praise the Lord that they made to be teens. One of mine was killed at just over a year old (16months)

Providence, I really like what you said. ^^^^^

…. I’ve been lucky so far

… only thing I did was wear their butts out when they tested the waters as youngsters … and have conversations about right and wrong so they know what’s expected of them

Yep they have got to learn and be held accountable

To simple Savell. Wearing their butts out can get you arrested today. You need to read some Dr Spock child rearing books. Start living in the modern world. Quit poisoning their young minds with competitive sports, hunting trapping butchering. They should be vegans raised without violence and not taught good and bad is a pretty simple concept.

lol

theres your real problem.

It's already been mentioned.
Ya can't be their friend.
The girls are mad at me more often than not. I don't loose a wink of sleep over it. I love it !
They're only going to be as good as the other kids they are running with.

Mom always said that kids were fine until they became teenagers. Then they need to be put to sleep.

It's your job as a parent to set boundaries and morals for your kids. And it's kid's job to test you and if you stand by what you teach them. They will learn real fast if your a man or woman of your word. Action's have consequences! Don't worry about being their friends. They will respect you more in life especially as they get older and mature. A huge factor is who they run with while growing up.

Raising teenagers starts when they are toddlers.