DID NOT need this mental image. Thanks, Danny!

I sat down to pee last night because I couldn’t find the light switch half asleep. I feel terrible about it, but it is what it is. Dang

Oh my goodness that's funny!

Not bragging, but I lost the hair on my legs when I had my knees replaced.

My wife and girls constantly say they would kill to have my legs.

I only cook inside when I'm forced to.
My wife won't let me clean anything, says I don't clean to her liking and I'm just fine with that.

I use a pellet smoker.

Ha! Got you beat. I use a gas grill.

Got my nails and toe nails done by what I thought was “fake” neon red nail polish…turns out some idiot DIL gave her child the real stuff with no polish remover. Went turkey hunting the next morning and killed a turkey with my “lucky” polish, lol.

Ya bunch of girls, lol…

I like getting a pedicure.