Thanks MnMan. I needed a good laugh.

At 9 p.m. Tuesday, a caller reported a large turtle on the road near the intersection of Wilson Street and Highway 34, causing a hazard. The turtle turned out to be a dead raccoon.

It might look like a turtle after a few days..

At 1:39 p.m. Tuesday, a woman reported a Wisconsin Rapids man called her and left a “nasty” message about the voices in his furnace and trailer.

Hey Mike, since you started posting your wonderful police calls, thirteen new residents have moved to the Rapids. Keep up the good work!

We had one the other day, "man arrested for assault for hitting girlfriend with burrito"

They were arguing over cigarettes,, alcohol was involved,,
It also stated the woman felt "fearful" after being struck.

She should be glad he wasn't eating a footlong hot dog or she could have reported that he slapped her up side the head with his wiener!

A fight this evening in the 2500 block of Baker Avenue in Evansville sent one person to the hospital.

Police say the fight was among neighbors, and involved a frying pan and a can of corn.

One man was cut on the head and taken to the hospital by ambulance.

Police say alcohol was involved, and made the incident very hard to investigate. Police say at this point the victim does not want to press charges.

Alcohol, Corn, and Frying pans..........bad mix i guess. Shoulda left the corn in the house until everyone sobered up. Lol!

"A hole has been found in the nudist colony fence. Police are looking into it".

Ha Ha I get it Viking!

A nudie camp in juneau?.....BRRR!

At 12:41 p.m. Tuesday, a Grand Rapids man reported a dog chased a cat across Townline Road in Grand Rapids. The caller believed the dog was starving.

At 9:42 a.m. Thursday, a caller wanted the FBI and police to stop wire tapping and microwave pulsing

A hole in the fence.

• At 11:27 a.m. Tuesday, a Wisconsin Rapids woman reported her pit bull was missing and then came back wearing a different coller

At 10:17 a.m. Tuesday, a caller reported a dog bit a 13-year-old boy on his legs, stomach, arms and hands in the 6900 block of Fairview Lane, Saratoga.

I wonder if it was the same dog?

Mike, I love where I live, but it doesn't come close to beauty of your area. Combine that with your police reports and and I can almost feel the sudden influx of people to your area. And since every house, old or new, has bats, we are talking big bucks!

The only thing Paul, is that so few people here have more than 50 bucks that I rarely work in town. People here will be selling all there beer cans to buy a box of bullets to kill a deer with.

At 8:20 a.m. Tuesday, an anonymous caller reported a duck quacking all the time in a shed in the 2500 block of Engler Drive

• At 5:04 a.m. Monday, a man reported seeing a woman roll her car three times and then drive off in the 3000 block of Plover Road, Biron.