Customer calls,

"Sir I have a squirrel in my attic!"

No problem sir, we are here to help. ill come over in the am...

Sir you have a colony of flying squirrels, some little browns, and a eastern grey or two. part of the issue is the massive amount of "bird" feeders you have...

"let me stop you there, they are squirrel feeders..."

Ok, well that's a concern. the other issue is the fact that your house is older than dirt and the facia and soffits are rotted worse than a meth addicts teeth! Would you be interested in reparing the areas of concern on the home, and also stop feeding the squirrels?

"well we don't really have any money, and my wife will never want to quit feeding the animals"

Well, do you want the squirrels gone?

"Yes, we had to have an electrician replace and repair a bunch of wiring due to the squirrels chewing up in the attic, and he told me you would take care of us"

Well yes, that's true, and this is what it is going to take to fix the issue, and also im not really recommending that you stop feeding the squirrels, im telling you that you have to stop feeding them now and in fact you should start shooting them!

"@#%$ $%^$%#@ #$%#$$#$#!!!

guess that's a no then to the job? have a great afternoon sir... lol

Wow... Meth addicts teeth? LOL!!!

travellin, we can only hope that the preceding post was said in jest for our benefit and not to an actual customer. Since you claim to have sales experience in other posts I can only surmise that your last sales job was selling ice to the Eskimos. ( I once had that same job )

At some point you realize it's a hopeless cause, and you might as well have some fun with it. What's that joke about wrestling a pig in mud?

well obviously my end was handled a little more professionally, but this isn't far from a call I recently had.

I have a few customers who refuse to stop feeding the birds and have me come out every other week to catch squirrels, raccoons and the occasional possum or skunk that they see at the feeders.


I also have a customer who's house is as you put "worse than meth addicts teeth" and while they don't have the money for the repairs they always seem to have the money 2 or 3 times a year to have me come remove birds, raccoons, or squirrels from the house.

Those type of people that Nate's referring to are some of my most beloved customers. Two grand a year for bird seed and another three grand for animal removal.

And you just can't have any more fun than hunting for squirrel eggs in the attic.