"Sir I have a squirrel in my attic!"
No problem sir, we are here to help. ill come over in the am...
Sir you have a colony of flying squirrels, some little browns, and a eastern grey or two. part of the issue is the massive amount of "bird" feeders you have...
"let me stop you there, they are squirrel feeders..."
Ok, well that's a concern. the other issue is the fact that your house is older than dirt and the facia and soffits are rotted worse than a meth addicts teeth! Would you be interested in reparing the areas of concern on the home, and also stop feeding the squirrels?
"well we don't really have any money, and my wife will never want to quit feeding the animals"
Well, do you want the squirrels gone?
"Yes, we had to have an electrician replace and repair a bunch of wiring due to the squirrels chewing up in the attic, and he told me you would take care of us"
Well yes, that's true, and this is what it is going to take to fix the issue, and also im not really recommending that you stop feeding the squirrels, im telling you that you have to stop feeding them now and in fact you should start shooting them!
"@#%$ $%^$%#@ #$%#$$#$#!!!
guess that's a no then to the job? have a great afternoon sir... lol