When I was a Freshman in high school across from the school was an old roofing companys building the boys would all hangout at, we called it scid row. No matter how cold it was any boy that was ever intending to be a man would never wear a coat or hat, we was tuff and that was the way we liked it. One day a senior dared me to smoke a cigarette( my dad smoked and I hated it). I refused and he called me a momma's boy. He handed me an unlit cigarette and I took it and ate and swallowed everything but the filter. When I told him to do the same he declined. Boy I felt like a man, well until about 15 minutes later in home room I got dizzy and sick and headed to the rest room and puked and looked in the mirrow and was as green as a gourd. Wow being a man is hard.

Then when I moved off to school and a job I had 3 roomates. We would have drinking contest of different sorts. One was seeing who could drink the most shot glasses of beer ( something about all that air does one in ). I could out do all except the Canadian that was down here going to school, must of had a cast iron stomach. This being a man sure seemed to be getting harder.

Then in 1974 I caught the pig pox from the hogs and was too much of a man to slow down from work and came down with double pneumonia. After 5 days in the hospital being so weak I couldnt even sit up, I realized I was nothing but a frail man that could die at anytime. It was at that time I realized I am but a man.

Now I'm at the age that I used to think was old and the mind is often willing but the body says no. I dont have to prove anything to anyone but myself. Now when its cold I put on as many clothes as I need to be comfortable and remind myself how foolish I was in my youth.

When I was 12 our dad left us. There were 5 other brothers and sisters and my mom did not drive. Did a lot of things necessary to help feed and protect a family and many not well thought out, safe etc. The day I graduated from grade school I moved from home so I could earn money for myself and some for the family. With the background I had I became a man or adult at an early age, The unfortunate part of this for me has taken me 57 years to undo what I felt being a man was by actions and examples learned as a youth.

Bryce

After the operation, Lol...."Just kidding"

A.M.

The whole world changed at that moment. Never been the same since, probably never will again.

CoonsBane -
Wow! I didn't even realize the significance of the date you posted. I sure should have. Sorry.

December 19, 1986
When I said the following,


I, David McLeod, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God." 

Helping take over things when my father died, getting a letter from the draft board stating Greetings!, Saying I Do, and holding each one of my kids for the first time. Now trying to pass on some of my experience to my children.

I think I always called myself a man from the time I was 18. But in hind sight, the first time I went to combat...I was 29. I also thought I always knew how to take care of other Marines. Not until I was charged with keeping them alive would I really know what responsibility in being a man was. That’s mine.

Of course, I was still a kid then, too. Spirits of being a man as a kid. Heck, I still feel like a kid at 43. I can’t stop thinking about this question. I’m thinking there’s no right answer. I think I’m just a man when it’s called for.

no big John,You are the MAN.

"I'll give you an answer in the morning."

Id say 20. Thats when took out a loan, quit my job, and put myself through the police academy. After that ive been able to find honorable employment for the past 20yrs. Not so much great pay always. It taught me to be a man and about brotherhood.

My first thought was also, "When I became a father."

I remember coming home from the hospital after the birth of my first daughter. I sat down and began to think. I was almost completely overwhelmed by the huge responsibility of it all.

Three wonderful daughters and two outstanding grandchildren later, I'm thinking, "What was I worried about?"

When I took my 66 Chevelle SS to New England Dragway ,and made my first 1/4 mile pass at 17 years old....14.2 @101 mph....I was the Man !

Peekers, you’re one of my heroes.

Last week. Still recovering from the surgery. I figured someone had to replace Bruce Jenner to balance out the universe. Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers!!




Seriously though, there are a lot of excellent answers here. Responsibility, selflessness, respect both earned and given. All crucial parts of it.
I’ve learned some good things from John Eldridge’s book “Wild at Heart.” One of the things he points out is that most men base their own manliness on 1 of 2 things: women or work. Either you’re good at getting women or you’re good at work. Often both but usually 1 is more significant to your identity. That might not be a problem when we’re young, but it easily becomes a problem when we get older. A man who starts out getting his masculine identity from women eventually often becomes a man who’s afraid of women, cowed by his wife because he’s terrified of disappointing her. Men whose identity is in work usually end up slaving for the job, maybe stuck in a job they’re good at but they hate, because they’re scared of the insecurity of switching to something they might not be as good at. These men may also face depression upon retirement or an injury, because their entire identity was built on work.

Anyway to answer the question, I’d say I first felt like a man when I was trusted as a lead by my bosses at work. I was more sure I was a man when I bought my own house unaided at 25. And I was most proud as a man when I got to bring my first baby home to that house, knowing she’d have a good home and stable life with her mother and I.

I’m proud to be able to say, my wife doesn’t make me a man, she loves me because I am one. My work doesn’t make me a man; who I am as a man makes my work good. My family doesn’t make me a man; being a man allows me to care for my family. I’m a man because God made me one, continues showing me how to be one, and no one can take that away.

When I was. 14 my dad asked me about buying the farm next door. After some reasoning I told him I thought that it would cost too much to bring it up to produce crops. He agreed and he did not buy it.

When I became mature enough to think things through rationally and quit voting for democrats.

When I jumped out of a plan and became a US Army paratrooper.