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Re: Divorce and custody [Re: Brett Thomas] #6479224
03/03/19 02:13 AM
03/03/19 02:13 AM
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 15,687
Champaign County, Ohio.
K
KeithC Online content
trapper
KeithC  Online Content
trapper
K

Joined: May 2009
Posts: 15,687
Champaign County, Ohio.
Originally Posted by Brett Thomas
Originally Posted by KeithC
I have a good friend that is having the same issue, except he was never married. His exfiance actually made his family pay $450.00 to see his son, when they came down from Michigan to see him. Then she stopped allowing him to see his son at all. He had to higher a lawyer, file a bunch of paperwork, refile the paperwork when he found she was in a different township and wait almost 3 months for a hearing. He was in a terrible state of mind. I was afraid he was going to kill himself. He gave the judge copies of all her harassing, threatening and extortionate text messages and the judge tore his ex apart. He was granted joint custody.

Now she is having him served with court papers seeking information a few times a week.

Keep all negative texts and emails from your ex. Don't say or type anything that can be used against you. Get a DNA test on your son. Get a very good, experienced lawyer. Seek professional counseling if you need it. Being kept unfairly from your children is terrible.

I hope it goes as well as it possibly can for you.

Keith


Dont take this personally

Let's get one thing squared away my son is mine . I can tell you to with the exact time he was conceived. We had a horrible time getting pregnant because of my wife's reproductive tract issues.
Had to go on Thanksgiving morning to make my deposit at 8:00am . Wife went in at 10 to recieve the goods.
Was awkward sitting across from my family eating Turkey, after my wife had told everyone what we were doing that morning. Everytime I see a Turkey my mind goes back to the "sin room".


There is no question of her faithfulness and yes I am going to counseling. I've never been afraid to ask for help and also know it will only help if we end up in court.



I did not mean that your son was not yours. I meant that women seeking custody will say there is doubt to at least temporarily wrest your child from you, while you wait months for a court hearing to get custody back. You can't get back lost time with your child . My friend missed the entire Christmas season and his son's birthday because of his exes manipulations.

Keith

Re: Divorce and custody [Re: Brett Thomas] #6479536
03/03/19 01:25 PM
03/03/19 01:25 PM
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 28,978
potter co. p.a.
P
pcr2 Offline
"Twerker"
pcr2  Offline
"Twerker"
P

Joined: May 2010
Posts: 28,978
potter co. p.a.
good for you and remember you have a family here with your best interests in mind.









Re: Divorce and custody [Re: Brett Thomas] #6479626
03/03/19 02:38 PM
03/03/19 02:38 PM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,674
OK
Aaron Proffitt Offline
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Aaron Proffitt  Offline
trapper

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,674
OK
Originally Posted by Brett Thomas
My son needs his mom but he also needs me. She has made some allegations claiming alcohol abuse from a prior time in my life. I've admitted my mistakes and I nipped them in the butt years ago before they seriously affected my life.

Luckily people are dumb enough to post pics of themselves on Facebook. Kinda sad she had been recording my conversations and gathering evidence for a year. The absolute worst thing was my problems when I was 18 . Took me all of 30 mins online and I had all I need to prove she drinks with our son present.


Its says alot I'm sitting in a parking lot waiting on her mom and sister to get here so all of us can have lunch
Her mom went from seeing our son 5 days a week to one because of a fight and she did her sister the same.

Luckily I understand no matter what happens it will only harm Corbin and her family by keeping him from them. Really embarrassing that she cant see that but itll bite her in the end.

I'll answer PM s once I drop him off and cant say thank you enough for the support.

On a brighter note a great guy who traps close to home had his trapping shed burn down and lost near everything trapping related. Dropped him off a few traps and lures yesterday. Told him that helped me alot more than him. It always feels good to help



Been through this crap. Just remember, this will pass .


Honor a Soldier. Be the kind of American worth fighting for.
Re: Divorce and custody [Re: Steven 49er] #6479668
03/03/19 03:29 PM
03/03/19 03:29 PM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 43
ks
D
decoys88 Offline
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decoys88  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 43
ks
Been there. Done this. My two were 3 when my ex left.
Get a hardcore, nasty lawyer.
Write down everything.
Always. Always. Always take the high road and do what is best for your son.
Get him to a counselor. Weekly. The counselor will record every single session and will introduce his notes in court to be your sons voice. Counselor usually will not testify.
It will likely get ugly if she is already using him and trying to keep you from him. I have had the SRS investigate me for physical, mental and sexual abuse. I still have the letters saying “unsubstantiated “. I was accused of anything and everything imaginable through the whole process. It took years to come to a conclusion.
The court system is slow, frustrating and usually favor the mother. You have to play the game. Document everything. Get a lawyer. Be the best father you can be. I knew my kids were better off with me and fought for custody. They are 15 now. I have had residential placement and shared custody agreement.
Best wishes to you.

Re: Divorce and custody [Re: Brett Thomas] #6480421
03/04/19 12:11 PM
03/04/19 12:11 PM
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,252
mi. u.p
grapestomper Offline
trapper
grapestomper  Offline
trapper

Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,252
mi. u.p
You can go to friend of the court and open a case. She will not be able to leave town then.
They will sit you both in a room and try to work out a compromise. As soon as there is no compromise,
You need a lawyer.
Don't be giving her everything, she will try to take it anyway from the way you are talking.
Unless you have done something wrong she can't keep you from seeing your child.
Best of luck.

Re: Divorce and custody [Re: Brett Thomas] #6480457
03/04/19 12:53 PM
03/04/19 12:53 PM
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 3,011
ohio
T
tomahawker Offline
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tomahawker  Offline
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 3,011
ohio
Kinda of a side note here. If she's playing dirty, which sounds like she is. We all got “friends” in high and low places. If she’s running around drinkin, posting on social media, it won’t be hard to catch a DUI.

Re: Divorce and custody [Re: Brett Thomas] #6480522
03/04/19 02:03 PM
03/04/19 02:03 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,473
South MS
dublelung Offline
trapper
dublelung  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,473
South MS
Glad to hear you got a good lawyer as you'll surely need one. The only person who suggested you don't need a lawyer hasn't personally gone through a custody battle so his advise is worthless imo. Record notes of all incidents (dates, times, witnesses, etc) no details too minor to note. Be aware at all times, she could be trying to set you up for anything. Some women are just plain evil and will do whatever they can to screw you over. Don't start a new relationship while going through your custody battle, it'll only complicate things and there will be plenty of time for all that when you're done battling the ex. Don't speak negatively about her to anyone until after all this mess is over and even then don't speak bad about her in front of your son. Take the high road at all costs and be prepared to fight tooth, fang, and claw for what you want and deserve as your son's father. Best of wishes to you and your son through this messy time. He's too young to understand the changes but he'll surely remember them as he grows older and you'll want to be the one he thinks back on and remembers as staying classy.

Re: Divorce and custody [Re: Brett Thomas] #6480530
03/04/19 02:09 PM
03/04/19 02:09 PM
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 28,978
potter co. p.a.
P
pcr2 Offline
"Twerker"
pcr2  Offline
"Twerker"
P

Joined: May 2010
Posts: 28,978
potter co. p.a.
still here and routin for you.wishin the best for you and your son.









Re: Divorce and custody [Re: Brett Thomas] #6480591
03/04/19 03:21 PM
03/04/19 03:21 PM
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,414
Idaho Falls, Idaho
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Furvor Offline
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Furvor  Offline
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F

Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,414
Idaho Falls, Idaho
Happens frequently. It's always sad when a mother uses a child as a pawn to satisfy her own greed. The child is the loser every time. I know. I've been there. Custody is the strongest bargaining chip you have. Never give it up voluntarily except possibly in exchange for more liberal visitation rights. The courts are biased in favor of the mother. In a custody hearing the most dominate lawyer almost always gets the most favorable rulings.

Last edited by Furvor; 03/04/19 03:46 PM.
Re: Divorce and custody [Re: Brett Thomas] #6480627
03/04/19 04:05 PM
03/04/19 04:05 PM
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 492
Berlin, Pa.
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cci Offline
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cci  Offline
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C

Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 492
Berlin, Pa.
If you dont get a good lawyer all the advice on here will be usless.. Without a lawyer she will eat you alive. I went thru it. You NEED a lawyer.

Re: Divorce and custody [Re: Brett Thomas] #6480647
03/04/19 04:29 PM
03/04/19 04:29 PM
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 345
ontario
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grampy Offline
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grampy  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 345
ontario
Brett Thomas
Been there ,done that. A very painful experience, but I believe if you follow the REALLY SOUND advice posted by Dublelung '4 posts back' you will end up on the high road with a son who will have understood what all went on and cherish you for your actions

Re: Divorce and custody [Re: Brett Thomas] #6480741
03/04/19 06:49 PM
03/04/19 06:49 PM
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 507
SC Iowa
btomlin Offline
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btomlin  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 507
SC Iowa
I didn't read the entire thread....

I kept a daily log book for the days I had my son and the days I didn't. What we did, daycare pickup/drop off, bath times, bed times, what we had for dinner, and in the off days, cleaned house, etc. Establish that you can care for your son and that he will be fine. I also documented any interactions with the "mrs".

Find "non family"(of course your family is going to give good reviews, hopefully) people that have witnessed the interactions you have with your son and see if they would be willing to provide affidavits that you are a fit father(I can't remember the exact term). Don't allow any of them - family or non-family - to bash the boy's mother. You are only looking for "your reviews".

Get a lawyer

Lastly, I rec'd the following advice. "When it is all said and done, NOBODY is gonna come up and slap you on the back and tell you that you were a nice guy.".

I am praying for your son

Last edited by btomlin; 03/04/19 06:51 PM.
Re: Divorce and custody [Re: Brett Thomas] #6480769
03/04/19 07:24 PM
03/04/19 07:24 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,570
Worley, Idaho
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Machias Offline
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Machias  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,570
Worley, Idaho
Good luck, be careful what you post here and other places you visit on the web. Be careful what you text. Very easy to be taken out of context and come back and bite you hard. 36 years ago I got divorced and got sole custody of my Son, but I was lucky, his Mom just walked away from both of us.


When things are Grim, become the Grim Reaper!
Fred Moyer
Re: Divorce and custody [Re: Brett Thomas] #6480881
03/04/19 09:03 PM
03/04/19 09:03 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,223
Midlands South Carolina
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SGT. C Offline
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SGT. C  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,223
Midlands South Carolina
Document, Document, Document, repeat. Record all conversations, Record all conversations, Record all conversations, REPEAT AS NESSASARY. Don't be passive. Sarge


Getting old is a fatal mistake

Always looking for reloading componets

I know a beaver or two, because I've seen a beaver or two
Re: Divorce and custody [Re: Brett Thomas] #6480904
03/04/19 09:21 PM
03/04/19 09:21 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 8,857
Magna, Utah
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GritGuy Offline
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GritGuy  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 8,857
Magna, Utah
Don't be fooled by the misnomer that if no wrong is committed she can't stop you from seeing your son !

She can make it so inconvenient, so difficult, so hard to access, that you will feel it's a useless thing to do, even if the court ordered visits, does not make it so, I know as I've lived it for 6 years trying to see him and watch his growing, at every turn there was a road block, excuse, a cover up, supported by family, friends and lawyers. I did everything that's been listed here and still lost him, can't even send a B-Day card, he's as gone as death would be. You can do everything right and still lose whats yours.

Court ordered don't mean crap only when it's shown in court or the LEO's, it's a record that can be broken just like a coffee cup, so many times it's un real.

Your must be for ever vigilant and the even tempered gentleman of grace and charm always, never being negative about her, or her family or friends to her or to your boy.


[Linked Image]

Sorry if my opinions or replies offend you, they are not meant to !

Re: Divorce and custody [Re: Brett Thomas] #6480939
03/04/19 09:44 PM
03/04/19 09:44 PM
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 9,947
Central Pa. 62
B
bic Offline
"Mr. Sensitivity"
bic  Offline
"Mr. Sensitivity"
B

Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 9,947
Central Pa. 62
Not only do you need a lawyer. You need one that specializes in divorce. I went down this road many years ago. My lawyer told me exactly what I should and should not do.He also told me what the Ex would do and when based off of his many years experience. I did What i was told and when I was told to do it. As a result, when the smoke cleared, I had physical custody of my 2 sons, I got the house and all the belongings except for her clothes and a piano. A good lawyer is worth what they charge!


Life always offers a second chance.
It's called Tomorrow
Re: Divorce and custody [Re: Brett Thomas] #6481163
03/05/19 01:09 AM
03/05/19 01:09 AM
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 74
Central Wisconsin
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houndhntr86 Offline
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houndhntr86  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 74
Central Wisconsin
get a lawyer! $31,000 for lawyer and will be in debt with cc for awhile because of all my money going to legal fees but it was the best spent ever. took over 18 months but since June 29 2018 primary placement with me every other weekend with mom.

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