It was in '87, my wife and I were farming for a guy. It was late fall and we were about done and the rains were starting to come. It was a drizzly morning and I still had some mechanic work to do and I told my wife she could just stay home. Well I came back in before dark and as I go up the very, very steep hill, I see her with a spade digging holes a long side the house trailer, on her last one in fact. I said what are you doing? She said she had ordered some shrubs and the UPS would be here with them in a couple of days. I told her she couldn't plant them that close to the house and besides that we didn't even have the underpinning up yet! That did not go well as one might expect. So it was the silent treatment the rest of the night. Next morning still not talking, then about noon the mailman goes. She takes the 200 yd walk down to the mailbox and is huffing and puffing when she gets back up the hill. She hands me a sale bill and says you need a new suit! Well it was true I had no suit, I had rented a tux when we got married, and since I was already married why in the world would I need a new suit?

So the next morning we were off to a city about 40 mi away to get a suit. We get there and she starts handing me coats to put on. First one she says too small, gets another and same reply. Gets another that almost swallows me. Ok she says, thats good. Then she got me a pair of pants that actually fit. So we go up to the counter and the woman says is that all, to which I reply, I think that coat is too big. She said not too worry if we got home and couldn't use it we had 30 days to get our money back, and the wife writes her a check. So off to home we go. We get about halfway home and I look over at her and she has a blank stare, and I'm still wondering why I needed a coat and especially way too big. It was then it dawned on me that at the funeral home they split a coat down the back to make it easier to get it on a dead body. Unless of course it is extra big. Then I remember those holes in that hard ground that I had filled up and how mad she was.

So then as I was thinking about the situation, I recalled the lady saying we had 30 days to get our money back. Then it dawned on me that after my funeral she will have the director to pull the coat off me and she could take it back and get her money back. So now that I knew the plan, all I had to do was sleep with one eye open for the next 30 days, and I know her and everything is about money and if she couldn't get her money back, then I was safe for a while anyways.

30 days is a long time to go without sleep, but in desperate times people can and do desperate things. Any way I survived the 30 days and even more in years. That 30 days then is just a image now, but I out waited it!

Which parts not true?

Hahaha

Is she a redhead?

Well actually the biggest fib was the part about not sleeping for 30 days. Now she must never know but I would go out each morning and run some traps and behind the house in the woods I would hide under a big white oak that hadn't shed its leaves since it was drizzly fall and sleep like a baby and then off to check my traps. Sleeping under that tree in light showers was truly showers of blessing.

Funny you should mention that. The first time I saw her, she was riding horses with her sister. Her hair was short and curly and I thought she was the most beautiful red headed gal I ever saw. Turned out when her hair grew out it was brown not red, she had got a perm from some old gal 80 yrs old and she fried her, lol.
Nothin wrong with red heads, I like short fuses. But possibly even worse she is a Taurus the Bull. She was quite a beast and she has tamed down a lot. Seems old Ishtar has always been ill with me for taming her down, at least I never slung her into the Heavens, lol.
Which reminds next week is her birthday. I will have to order something tonite. I really am trying to limit my mailman to essentials. I wonder if a birthday gift for a Taurus is an essential. Ok, I'll phrase it this way, is living essential, sure would hate to see the beast come out of her, lol !

I married a redhead. Best thing I ever did. 28 years on the 25th.

A Taurus huh? Maybe a nice big nose ring to keep her under control.

Live dangerously......get her a Taurus Raging Bull.