Re: Daughters attitudes
[Re: ]
#6985413
09/08/20 11:22 AM
09/08/20 11:22 AM
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Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 719 Oklahoma
We-Sa
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Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 719
Oklahoma
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The analogy used often (rather than Venus and Mars) is males speak and hear in "blue" and females speak and hear in "pink." Big variance to be sure. How so? Simplistic answer is; Males work stuff out at an early age (boyhood) learning that face to face (blue) encounters are usually battles and we learn to avoid face to face. We are shoulders next to shoulders persons most often and females can't figure this blue action out. Sit on the couch next to each other. Go hunting walking side by side. Blue loves all this. To females it looks like nobody loves anybody or someone isn't paying attention in this stance! Often pink may even say blue, as two blues are "hanging out,".... "You guys getting along?" We say huh? Never better.
Why does pink ask that? Because females bond/interact/fight/love face to face! Something blue learned early not to do because you might get a nose bleed!
So your daughter would prefer a face to face encounter/battle/whatever BUT all she wants to do is for her pink to see another pink or blue to take her seriously in the moment; AND be heard. Face to face. No judgement/yelling/confrontation from the blue (at this moment). The moment may not be sensible, but that is irrelevant to pink.
I have three daughters. When pink would flare (often during adolescence) I would invite them to sit down and while blue is too often angry when we are face to face (we mean biz in this stance... remember we like shoulder to shoulder) I would firmly but sincerely invite them to speak; My blue is listening to your pink.... looking squarely at them. Face to face. No phones allowed.
All the girls still remember those words. We used them often in our house!
Blessings! Mark Thanks Mark, we’ve got a granddaughter turning 13 next month and she stays with us a lot. I’ve unknowingly stumbled onto the edge of your advice and now it makes more sense. adam m, For whatever reason, I struggle with the “listening/de-escalation” thing so sometimes I just have to not do or say anything other than listen. If I open my mouth during this time the situation will south real quick, lol. Prayer sure helps me keep this in check and my mouth shut though. Fun times for sure
“I don't know, Chief, if he's very smart or very dumb.” Capt. Quint
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Re: Daughters attitudes
[Re: adam m]
#6985446
09/08/20 12:29 PM
09/08/20 12:29 PM
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 830 West coast of Iowa
iaduckhntr
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 830
West coast of Iowa
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Put a shock collar on em LOL I don't know, but good luck to you. Dennis
Old 8 toes~~ life ITA and NRA member Life in the fast lane is no place for a tricycle!
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Re: Daughters attitudes
[Re: adam m]
#6985466
09/08/20 01:30 PM
09/08/20 01:30 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,561 coastal ny
gcs
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Posts: 2,561
coastal ny
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From the wise words of a friend of mine, pertaining to women in general.."even the good ones short circuit now and then" It's all pretty much been said, just remember they are individuals and one size don't fit all, And they get better when they hit 30,.
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Re: Daughters attitudes
[Re: adam m]
#6985490
09/08/20 02:09 PM
09/08/20 02:09 PM
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 7,396 western mn
bucksnbears
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western mn
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Take her cell phone away. Will be amazed at how fast her attitude will change
swampgas chili and schmidt beer makes for a deadly combo
You have to remember that 1 out of 3 Democratic Voters is just as dumb as the other two.
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Re: Daughters attitudes
[Re: adam m]
#6985505
09/08/20 02:49 PM
09/08/20 02:49 PM
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 5,898 michigan,USA
seniortrap
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 5,898
michigan,USA
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When my oldest daughter was home from Virginia this summer, she left me this. She has a 22 year old daughter and a 16 year-old son. My middle child (daughter) she was the one who kept you up and watching closely. She has an 18 year old daughter starting college. Then my son was very much into adventure. Climbing 500 foot towers with no safety strap. He did tell me later he only went up about 150 feet. He has 2 boys 13 & 9. I guess we (wife and I) did mostly the right things.
Last edited by seniortrap; 09/08/20 02:50 PM.
Vietnam--1967 46th. Const./Combat Engineers
"Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction." "After the first shot, all plans go out the window!"
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Re: Daughters attitudes
[Re: adam m]
#6985611
09/08/20 06:22 PM
09/08/20 06:22 PM
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Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 25,694 nm
adam m
OP
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OP
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bnb I take it away often. She is now really hating life that she can't go outside to play seniortrap, that is a great present for sure. So true. I thought I knew what love was until I saw my daughter and then each of my sons. Mark thanks I gotta start handling this in a different approach and I gotta remember that we are wired completely different than girls/women. gcs that is great. Thanks Yup I gotta be slow to speak and quick to listen. Thank you all I appreciate it.
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