Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef

Why didn’t the skeleton climb the mountain? He didn’t have the guts to do it

What’s the difference between a crab with breast implants and an old bus stop? One is a busty crustacean and the other is a crusty bus station

Oh gosh

Why did the chicken coop have 2 doors? If it had 4 it would be a sedan

I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda. It took me a while to work out that it was just a Fanta sea

Did you hear the story about the skunk?

No

Nevermind it stinks.

Ha ha ha

How can you tell youve had an elephant in your fridge?

Toe prints in the jello.

(Dad really tells this joke)

How many giraffes can you get in a fridge?


None. Theres an elephant in there.

When dad was younger, they asked him to join the 1st Armored Division in the Army. He said "No tanks."

What time of day did God create Adam? Just before Eve

What did Adam say to eve? "Its Christmas Eve"

When did bill do the dentist? Tooth-hurty

Day 2 of bringing back posts


I ordered a chicken and an egg. I’ll let you know.

What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick
What’s blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint

What’s orange ands sounds like a parrot? A carrot.