I'll start:

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Right where you left him!

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger.

Then it hit me

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn't matter he won't come anyway

Did you hear about the gay midget. He came out of the cabinet.

Keith

Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

Keith

Did you hear they arrested the devil? He was arrested for possession.

Keith

How do you get down off an Elephant?

You don't get down off an Elephant. You get down off a Goose.

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender asked, why the long face?



A baby seal walked into a club.



Charlie

Nancy Pelosi walked into a bar with a toad on her shoulder.

When the bartender asked, where'd you get that, the toad said it started out as a wart on my butt.


Charlie

What kind of bees make milk?


Boobies

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather… Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

An Irishman walks out of a bar!

Did you hear about the newfie that went ice fishing?

He caughr 200 lbs of ice and his wife drowned cooking it.

I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid. But I can stop anytime I want.

My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days?

I told him it must be my weekend immune system.

Did you hear about the Indian that drank to much iced tea? He drowned in his tepee

did you hear about the plastic surgeon that hung himself???

I went to bed ,and dreamt about tail pipes and mufflers..

I woke up exhausted