Well it seems dad may be missing a step. He turned 81 today and is still sharp but he's making changes in his living trust that won't play out the way he thinks it will.

The key asset in the trust is 270 acres that has been in the family since before Alabama was a state. It has always been his wish that it stay in the family intact, hence the trust. The idea was for my brothers and I to manage the trust for the sake of the heirs and somewhere down the road appoint trustees to replace us or hash it out somewhere down the road.

This trust was established nearly twenty years ago by dad and my mother and reflected their wishes with the concurrence of my brothers and I. Or so I thought.

Well it's looking like he is rearranging things after getting off the phone with him.

And I'm not sure if the trust is still in place by the way he was talking. He's talking about leaving the property to my middle brother and splitting cash assets with me and the younger brother.

Whatever is fine as he owes me nothing and I won't argue with my brothers. And in the end scheme of things one of my middle brothers sons more than likely would've had it outright or in trust as I have daughters and the other brother's children were poisoned against the family by their mother. Dad has provided for them in spite of her.

The fly in the ointment the entire time has been the sister in laws. They hated each other but both were in agreement that they would cash out everything if they could.

The trust served a double purpose to prevent that and pass it to the grands.

One sister in law is out of the picture but the one that remains is the one that sold off all of mama's jewelry. And the wife of the brother slated to get the property and mother of the grands we are all in agreement that should most likely end up with it.

But she would gladly sell out their inheritance and sadly they know it. My brother has never been able to control his wife.

And dad knows this about her and quite frankly only tolerates her to keep the peace.

Not sure how to handle this.

All I can say is good luck. Seen it too many times and have another brouhaha coming up with the family my Sis married into.

I’ve seen “inheritance” destroy a family after the last parent died. I mean to the point they don’t even talk anymore. Sad really. Their father was old school and thought of women less than men. The one that got the most and was left in charge was the correct one to leave it to, but being younger than his brother and one sister left a bad taste in their mouths. The youngest girl got the least and never opened her mouth, just thankful she was thought of. That didn’t go unnoticed by the one that was left everything and he sorta made it right while still keeping to their fathers wishes. What’s funny is the jewelry was divided up amongst the sisters and the oldest thought she’d gotten one over on her younger sister. Younger sister was curious seeing how she knew her momma had real diamonds and fake ones and took hers to a local jeweler to have it appraised. She’s the one that ended up with the 2.5ct diamond ring, the 1ct each earrings, and the 3ct total diamond necklace. The jeweler told her is she didn’t have a safe she better get one. Her oldest brother was also given what he thought was a fake gold or gold plated ashtray and sorta spiteful said the younger sister could have it, he didn’t want that stupid thing. Come to find out it’s solid 24ct gold. Younger sis didn’t do too bad after all, lol.

Well we've already pretty much gone our own way. No bad blood just didn't care for the others wives though mine has never participated in the the bad mouthing though each of the others did try to draw her in. She just refused to play along. She was my mother's favorite as a result.

The sad thing is the grand most likely to follow dad's wishes is the youngest grandson and the middle brother's youngest. He has spent more time with dad than all the rest and has worked his tail off with dad managing the place. He is the one I would choose. But his mama would sell him out in a heartbeat.

I’ve never understood locking your grandkids inheritance into a chunk of land or business that they can’t sell. Now they’re saddled with this tax burden that they can’t use to pursue the things that will make them happy. I think it’s better to just give it to them, to do with as they please. If it were mine, I’d sell it while I were still alive, put the cash into a trust that can’t be touched invested in mutual funds that writes em each a quarterly check from the interest and dividends.

I'd ask him directly about if the trust is still in effect or not. Unless you can indicate, and or prove, that he has become mentally incompetent since the original trust assignment, you may have a hard time convincing the Probate or the Circuit Court of any updated Will / Executor changes. Best of luck.

Circumvent the toxic party! See if you can get your father to provide a direct inheritance to the "Grands"
People that have no family connection to the inheritance other than marriage have no "heart felt commitment." It has happened in my family and too many others. Greed has no sympathy or apathy.

what did your middle brother tell him I wonder

sure would make more sense to keep it a family trust where no one can sell it

my in-laws got cut out of everything they got 1 acre from the original plot that there house has been sitting on since the 70s
at that point they didn't even own their drive way.

middle daughter got to her mom and a year before she died got her to leave her basically everything for land and the rental house to her.
youngest daughter who lived with her mother and was primary care taker got to keep the house and one acre

well any one who had seen middle daughter and money , knew what was coming , yup took about 5 years and she couldn't afford the taxes on it anymore and sold the acreage and rental house.so now the oldest and youngest sisters have their houses completely surrounded other than the road side by a guy who bought the land and rental house.

at least my in-laws forcer her to move the lot line so they owned their own driveway


see a similar thing happening with a cousin on my side , his dad owns about 300 acres some field some woods some swamp.
he has a 10 acre parcel and his sister has one down the road they each built their houses on , little brother is in his 6os and has never worked anywhere but the farm and not even at that hardly for the last 20 years , he got hurt and got addicted to the pain meds. has no kids and hardly leaves the house

guess who is getting all the acreage?

The tax burden can be paid by picking up cans on the side of the road. It's that low in Alabama. The property produces annual timber income, prorated, a good ten times the "current use" millage rate.

It's that income over the last fifty years that dad has invested that has allowed him to live comfortably in retirement and provide college money for the grands.

Selling off the property would eliminate an income stream that provided for eight generations. And I doubt these cash once divided will last beyond my lifetime.

As granny drilled into my head, take care of the land and the land will take care of you.

And that is the only route and not one I want to take.

I understand. I have a family member that is a Corporate and an Estate Attorney and sees these issues quite often. . . sad. . . best wishes to resolve your concerns equitability.