Over the years my kids have said and done some funny things. The latest was last night. I was making plans to take the wife and kids on a horse ride at a state park I used to go to when I was a kid with my grandparents.

It's not much of a ride. You sit on a follow the leader horse and that's it. I layes the reins over the saddle horn a lot of the ride. I was trying to get the boys interested in horses and the wife and I have not road in probably a decade.

While talking aboutnit last night my 13 year old said " I don't even know how to drive a horse" boy that sure ticketed me.

When my 10 year old was 3 he walked up to me and told me my face needed mowed. When he was 4 and we had not moved to the farm yet we were not familiar with the roads yet and were watching for signs. He started singing " there is a sign I can't read Holman lane" after it was spotted and pointed out by his 6 year old brother.

My daughter called acorns oak nuts when she couldn't remember what they were called.
I had a pile of critters laying out when I was skinning . My wife got my attention with a look and pointed to my 2 year old daughter who had picked up a muskrat and was holding it like a cat petting it. I said honey you know that muskrat is dead don't you. She in a very mater of fact voice and tone" yes, but it is still soft". I shrugged and smiled knowing that just got my wife off my back.

Another time whan she was 2 or 3 I told her to get her straps on her car seat on. She said" OK here hold my booger" I said gross I don't want your booger throw it down." BUT it is still squishy " was her response.
Ther are a few from my kids what are some of yours?

Leading up to my 35th birthday, my youngest (4) kept saying I was going to be 155! Now I'm 163! Lol

When my middle daughter was three she "dropped my f-ing fork" at the dinner table. I don't think I've ever been in more trouble with the wife.

When a State GW asked my 8yr old son on a drawn WMA Youth Waterfowl hunt if he’d ever duck hunted, he replied “Yes sir. We go and plant corn for them every week but something keeps eating it before it grows, so we keep going every Thursday afternoon planting more.”
I got talked to by said GW, but he was pretty laid back about it. He said that was the best story he’d ever heard and he’d rather hear we “planted” for them than “baited” for them.

My niece used to try to steal mink. Had to frisk her every time before she could go in the house.

I’ve had a few of those moments where I’ve had to cover my face and turn away lol. Then try not to laugh as you explain why that’s not a thing children should say. My wife is mostly to blame there, she curses like a sailor. Usually at me lol

My youngest daughter was about 6 years old when she told the neighbor boy that I mine Coal which is why we live on a farm. If I had learned to mine Gold we would be in a Mansion.

When I was 5 , my brother was 2. He was sitting in the grocery cart, while we were grocery shopping. My mom, brother , and myself. Mom walked away from the grocery cart, looking for a jar of spaghetti sauce. A black lady walked by our cart, and said something to my brother (2) who was sitting in the cart. He never responded. She then looked at me and said “Your little brother is cute, but sure is quiet!” I responded with “Oh he talks, he just doesn’t like black people”.

My mom said she turned red and was so embarrassed that she just kept looking for the sauce even after she had found it.

The surprised lady cleared her throat and walked on.

2 friends of mine grew up near the very small, country town of Rockford, Ohio in an area with no non whites. Their family went to the Dayton Mall and their little sister, whom was 6, saw a live black person for the very first time. She very loudly exclaimed "Look maw, there's a black from TV!" She thought that black people, weren't real and were white people in costumes for TV shows.

My cousin Josh, when he was 3, was at the Dayton Mall and loudly exclaimed "It's my lucky day!" My aunt asked him What? and he repeated it and then grabbed her hand and dragged her over to a midget. Josh introduced himself to the midget and shook his hand. The midget handled it well. Josh thought the midget was a leprechaun.

Keith

A grandson of a friend of mine, couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old, was watching him skinning muskrat and hanging them on a nail fur side out. The boy asks, "What do they do with those grandpa?" He tells him, "They make coats out of them."
The boy ponders for a bit and says, "Them people sure must be awful small."

When my grandson was 2 1/2 he had been tightly strapped in a car seat. When he was released he said "Grandma my penis hurts, will you kiss it and make it better." I can't wait until he is 16 and brings a girlfriend by who want to hear stories of when he was young.

Not exactly what a child said , but what they asked. A friend of mine had a small boy. He also had a Dakota pickup with a trailer ball mounted on the bumper. The boy pointed to the trailer ball and asked me what it's use was for.

I told him it was a boy truck.

Every adult in the area bust up laughing uncontrollably while the joke went right over the little boy's head.

hahahahaha

One day while driving with the kids the wife and I are listening to thr radio the song comes on Save a horse ride a cowboy,
When we stop for a light the boy about 5 daughter 3 read a truck bumber sticker Save a tree eat a beaver.

So they started singing had to stop and tell them not to sing that at school or they get in big trouble.

Here is another one from y daughter. She was about 7 and we were at Dianey and she said he wanted to to ride tower of terror so she would know if she would be big enough to ride it next year.

The duck and corn reminded me of Another time I can't rember her age but it was young. We were at her her great grand fathers funeral and a family friend in his mid 20s places the bag pipes in a kilt was talking about "his" deer. The only deer he has ever killed. He didn't find it his parents did a week later but he got his deer. He went on to talk about how hard it is to kill deer and Was really talking it up not realizing the people he was talking to were rual people. My daughter pipes up on his repeat about how hard deer were to kill like they are wrapped In Kevlar and she with her very young and small innocent voice steped forward and ask questioning " what are you talking about my dad has droped them with a .22". Them she got the o crap I shouldn't have Said that look. The city boy "hunter " had nothing to say the conversation changed topics.

When introducing my daughter to shooting her .22 and going over gun safety I told her many people treat a .22 as low power almost like a toy but its not. It it an effective and also dangerous tool. That it will kill about anything dead.with correct shot placement. Them I told her about deer I had shot and droped with head shots when I was a kid to drive home the point. I guess maybe I should have left out my younger days experiences. Then again it quickly reminded the silver spoon city boy whom he was talking to and he was at a backwoods family gathering.

When my son was about 3 or 4 he pronounced "truck" as "f@#k", which the wife and I were trying to change.
Well, before we successfully removed this word from his vocabulary, we were in church, about halfway through the teaching when the fire siren went off and my son shouted out "firef#@k" as loud as he could.
Half the church had their mouths open, the other half were laughing, the pastor smiled and continued on.