How obligated should i feel (with inheritance) to two of my kids that don't really have anything to do with me. They come around for holidays and special events but i hardly know anything thats going on in their lives. When they moved out i tried to stay in touch but i came to realize its one sided. Anyway i was going thru things the other day and i was looking at our will and it got me thinking…why am i giving all of this to someone who “i feel” doesn’t really care about me. Have of you been thru this?

you are not one bit obligated. Give them some if you want to but you can give most of it to a cause you care about as well.

You don't have to give anything to anyone, just need to mention in your will who gets what and who doesn't so you don't have it contested.....
That's my understanding, but I'm not a lawyer...

If you don’t want them to have anything or little make sure you have a will because if you don’t it will go to all your children. If they’re deceased it would go to siblings and down the line . Seen this happen in Illinois several times

Not sure how your kids are but there are small chances that your grandkids or great grandkids would like to know where they came from. So if your kids are ones you can trust to pass things down, I would want that done personally. Maybe not money, but heirlooms.

We are leaving ours to our grandchildren. Change your will to a revocable trust and save thousands of $.

TrapperKent

Same deal here got 5 kids only 3 give us time of day all our property and assets go to the 3 other 2 get $100.00 each now

Hard to give you an opinion without knowing the whole situation. Are your kids financially responsible?

ol dad

Your will or even more importantly your beneficiary designations will be crucial for you in where your assets go. If you don't have those documents on record then close family, spouse and children are first in line.
If they don't really want to have a relationship with you then they may have already mentally decided they don't want or don't need any of your assets either.
Bryce

There is the “Die With Nothing” option.

Like ‘ol dad said, kind of hard to know…

I plan to burn it all up before I am gone.

My grandpa always said his last check would go to the coroner, and bounce.

Watch out the kids dont shove you in an old age home and take your stuff when you get old and cant look after yourself.
Talk to your lawyer.

We have 4 and the two older ones don't want to have anything to do with us. We have some things for them but are waiting for them to grow up. We are waiting to see what happens. If they change we will include them in leaving things to them but right now my wife and I both feel we should not leave them anything because they will blow it all and want more from their siblings. We do want to be able to leave all our kids something but some of the actions or lack of actions bother us immensely. We do not feel we have to leave them a nickel if they act the way they do now.

Leave them each $100 so that way if they try to contest the will it will be harder on them because they were left something.

My kids are young still but we get everything in 2's. Grandma left part of the farm o my mom, who just signed it over to me. I went and bought the other part so I can pass it to my daughter. However if they grow up and don't know how to act and are not responsible I for sure will pass it to the one that is. I will never have money to give, so they will get items

I am a very lucky man. Kids grandkids and great grand daughter all like me. All like each other too. I have seen family squabbles that were truly heartbreaking. Whatever you deicide give it a lot of thought. Personally, I would not take council from anyone not a close friend that knows your family well.

I don't think equal inheritance is something I will do. I'm watching my kids now and hopefully they will all turn out . My daughter is 22 finishing up her LPN and is a saver and smart with her money. She also listens when I talk about investing, has a few small side businesses and wants to be able to retire at 40.

My boys are 14 and 12. The 14 year old lives to hunt and fish though girls are starting to get up there on the list. He is more conservative with his money and dose not chase every little thing that's shiny. He has a big heart and always tells me thanks for taking him hunting. But he is just a little laid back and could use a touch more drive at times.

The 12 year old I'd heck on wheels. Will be jumping his 4 wheeler back and doing all the crazy boy stuff. He spends his money fast. He is very smart and mechanical inclined. Not as worried about others as his brother. It will be interesting to watch how they develop.

You are under zero obligation to leave anything to anyone. You raised them they make their choices. If my kids decide to shut me out they will get nothing. Maybe I will have some good grandkids to leave things to.

This brings up another question that I've been thinking about. You have 2 kids 1 moves away but keeps in touch but is too far away to help out with things.the other 1 lives close by and helps out with Dr apps and things around the house that need to be done.is it fair if we leave them equal amounts or should the 1 be compensated for helping us.we try to pay him for things but won't take any money or returns it to us

My father in law had 5 kids. His will cut 2 out completely, gave 2 minimal amounts and gave my wife everything else. Before he died he ask 4 of them what they were going to do with his house when he died. Three said sell it and get the most we can, my wife said buy the other three out. He gave my the house prior to his death. In his will, he stated two get nothing and the other 2 have been getting there inheritance a little at time for years because all they would do is ask for money. My wife never asked for anything.
After his death and the will was read, it was a mess. One walked away and never said anything. The other three was a nightmare. What relationship my wife had with her siblings is beyond repair, she has tried numerous times to rekindle relationships but they bitter harsh feeling towards her. She all the times says she wished everything would have been evenly split because it is held against her and she did nothing wrong but love her dad.

Thumbs up for Grandpa! LOL