Simple trip to the hardware
Turned into a slight nightmare
Need for pair of jersey gloves
Had me wishing I had a new drug

Started innocent enough
Oh......the predators made it tough
My parking lot dash ...avoided an attack
It only lacked being carjacked

Saw older man with cane
His wife trying to explain
Lets take cart to lean on
Or we'll fall before long

Walking down isle that was gridlocked
My innocent...excuse me...to pass those stopped
By a shopper.....I almost got popped
Moved fast when the 2nd said....I'm loaded and locked

A simple question....sir....where can I find this item
Left me in fear and frightened
Think he just got out of asylum
His leash really needs tightened

Two shoplifters worked as team
Had to hold back my scream
Things priced.....too high already
Cost of stealing.......rising steady

Check out should have been boring yawn
What could possibly go wrong .........
Person ahead was over drawn
Person behind was going to decathlon
Cashier had agility of mastodon

The catchy store flyers should say
Have a nice day
Shop at your own risk
If your robbed or mugged...it'll be brisk

What happened to civility
When people shopped happily
Flowing thru stores like a symphony
If.... I make it home... I'll need therapy

Because of this trip ...I'm numb
My nerves felt like a beaten drum
I will now pay $14.99 a month sum
Amazon Prime...................here I come.