Our choice not to have kids when we married 49 years ago.
Thanks everyone for your input.

I totally support you giving it to who you want. No one is entitled to your money, and it is 100% your choice what is done with it.

However... the "screw them, let the others poind sand" attitude could put the heirs you're trying to help in an awkward situation. If I was in your situation, I would not want my gift to cause emotional hardship for the people I'm trying to help.

So my opening quesion to the lawyer would be: how can we make this secret?

If its possible in your state to have the results be kept secret, I'd give at least a small amount to a couple charities charity, and give most the heirs I chose.

I'd tell the heirs ahead of time, that they will get a portion of my estate because I respect and value the choices and lifestyle they have chosen. I'd also tell them that very few in the family are getting anything, so the entire will is sealed. No one will know they received anything unless they reveal it. I would tell them I have taken these steps to avoid them being an awkward situation. The heirs would not know anything about who else is or isn't an heir.

I'd also have the will include an ambiguous public statement in the will that the lawyer provides to anyone asking. Something like: the entire estate has been distributed to charities and individuals consistent with our values and priorities.


If nothing else, give $100 to the red cross so its not dishonest to mention charities. Let them think you hate them all and gave it all to charities. Then the people you value can enjoy what you leave them with no blowback.

Uncle Corky, let's discuss this over a round of golf at Big Stone...

lol

To prevent anyone from pissin on your grave...

We should have that discussion.....

You've worked your lives toward a set of goals, lived your life how you saw fit, a few of your relatives have shown you that they also carry those values. In my opinion help to carry on the traits you value and don't be worried about making that known

I would worry that leaving your kids different amounts would likely cause strife amongst them, but ultimately it's the future deceased person's choice.

Keith

\I am having a small picture of a urinal engraved on my head stone with the caption" (This word is unacceptable on Trapperman) Here" on the lower right side of the plot..

Most every estate distribution causes strife. In my law practice, i saw people fight over the family Bible, food in cupboards, food in the freezer, real estate, money, and investments.

Wife and i as retired attorneys have everything set up so it cannot be contested. It must be nice to have heirs who actually care and are interested for special interest gear and equipment.

I thought of blowing all the cash on good booze and bad women. However, i cannot drink because of the medicine i take and i am happily married.

Some say that there is merit to sliding into the grave broke and worn out - if you can predict when to run out of life and money.

I dont want to leave a big mess of gear for wife to sell if i go first. It will be interesting. So occasionally i work on a “pre-need” estate sale.

We expect some strife over the longterm / perpetual oil and gas royalty income. We are working on that piece of the puzzle.

Lawsuits over estates often run way more expensive than the estate is even worth. Turns out families can have serious grudges. A good lawyer helping you make up your will is important for that exact reason.

It is a little bit different if you need someone that can manage a million dollar operation.
Money needs to be generated to pay taxes
Accounting needs to be provided to irs

Everything we have in a trust….. no probate….

You can have all the "t"s crossed and the "i" dotted but the trustee you appoint will steal most of it. We're in a court battle now where the trustee didn't do what the will said to do. Instead he stole almost everything. The only winners are the lawyers on both sides and the trustee. Wills and trusts aren't worth the paper they are written on. The only solution is to do a "transfer on death" all your property and "Pay On Death" all your bank accounts. Everything else will be up for grabs to the first person who raids your house, which normally happens during the funeral.

160, I've met you. You have quite a few Wannamakers left I'm sure! Interesting about the "Association". Hadn't thought of that. There is definitely an Association here I was part of for a long time. Could have left something to them. Not anymore!

write up what you want , take it to a lawyer , you may even want to put it in a trust and make them the trustees at the time of your death.

good documents , letting your wishes be known in writing and to the two of them.

you might give everyone else a check for $0.02 specifically in their name. memo line "your total inheritance" so that they know you didn't forget about them have your lawyer issue the checks by registered mail at the time of your death.

Real estate and money are usually the big tickets but many fights are over the personal effects and heirlooms people have an emotional attachment to. It's probably a good idea to make a list of those with who gets what if you've promised certain items to people. My parents didn't do that. When dad passed we did an inventory then drew straws for who got the first pick. We then took turns choosing from the list until gone. There was no fighting at all.

I worry a little about going before my wife and her having no idea what all my fishing, hunting and trapping gear is worth:) Someone will probably get some smoking hot deals:)

if you have kids who know put them in charge of it or a friend , or start an inventory and start putting where is a good place to sell and a good price.

widow I was working with on her husbands guns , I told her if you start selling tools text me a pic and I will try and get you a fair price.
she didn't listen and was Robbed blind , she had no idea
she was letting people into the shop they were cherry picking tools and putting cash in her hand

one example was a big tool box , they went through it pulled out what they didn't want , then shoved 500 in her hand for the tools and box
it was a 4 peice , they didn't want the locker on the side , the bottom alone sells for 650 , the top 450 more , the right set of drawers about 250 oh but they didn't want the 150 dollar locker on the side of it , so 1350 worth of box and it was not old and in great shaple , I would guess another 3K in tools inside
she got 500 bucks.

just to many things to go on about

To give someone $.02 once you're dead means you wasted your chance to be honest face to face with them when you were alive. If it wasn't worth your $.02 being honest then, why bother once your dead? I know from spiteful...my mother threw shoes away one at a time so strangers wouldn't find a pair of shoes and be able to use something she had no need for. This seems to be on that level of spite. What do I know, that is only my $.02 worth.

Some times it may be worth some expenditures to have legal counsel give you feed back on your ideas and wishes and how they feel the system may work against or for your plans.

Bryce

Many of you have a good idea about how ugly, spiteful, and criminal estate administrations can get. Nearly all of your comments remind me of certain situations we have seen. A biggie was someone hiding assets from the executor and the rest of the family. On the positive side, a very nice lady learned about 3 months after her husband passed of a savings account when a quarterly statement arrived. He had been putting money away in a savings account for her. The balance was more than a million dollars.

At my grandmother’s calling hours and funeral, at least 20 people individually approached my brother to say that my grandmother promised that they could have a certain moderately valuable clock that was in her home. My brother told them all, that she had told him the same thing - so i gave him the clock. Actually, my grandmother was so ornery that she may have told all those folks that each could have her clock, all the while thinking what fun she would cause.

When working on an estate plan, remember to consider a durable power of attorney for health care to make your wishes known and decisions easier on those left behind. Although read closely. In Ohio, by checking certain boxes a person can be denied nutrition and hydration. I am aware of a gentleman who was hospitalized and begged for water for the last couple days of his life. It was ugly and cruel. Later, the family said they did not understand the document.

If i was younger and healthier, i would start an honest business liquidating assets for surviving spouses of hunters, fishermen, trappers, and others with a significant investment in gear and equipment. There is a need for this service.

Talking about what happens to your stuff. Trapping gear at auction usually goes for Pennie’s on the dollar.