Even if it means possibly losing or upsetting a friend.
Do you always go with your gut feeling or sometimes just go with the flow? My friend and I are planning a fishing trip. At first it was just going to him and I. Now, its possibly going to be two other.
My buddy helps folks in need. Like veterans and anyone with daily struggles. Im more of an introvert. Don't like crowds or people I know nothing about. When your on a boat and sharing a place to stay. I just feel uncomfortable.
I asked my friend outright if both of them were safe to be around. I always carry. But don't like the unknowns when in cramped quarters.
So, am I being unrealistic or trust my friend( retired law enforcement and a man of faith). And maybe it will turn out ok.
What's your opinions? I do know I will be driving my own vehicle. Tried riding with others and it turned sour and felt trapped. Plus if I was needed back home asap. No way of leaving.

Sarge

I would go. Sometimes strangers or random connections make for lifelong friends. You never know unless you go. The odds are minuscule that it’ll be something catastrophic. Way more likely that you just don’t get along with the guys and still enjoy a fishing trip.

Why do you think your friend would invite people who aren't safe to be around?

Have you heard something bad about these people's background?

Very much for the most part, the people I have met that my friends like, I also end up liking. Some of my very best friends were introduced to me by other friends, including 3 people who have been friends for 26 to 38 years.

Keith

You'll never know if they're jackwsgons or not if you don't go

You sound a bit paranoid there bud. Just go, I'm sure you'll have a great time.

Always, always go with your gut. Especially after age 50

Now my wife is mad at me. Saying im being unrealistic. I tell her she doesn't understand. She will be friends with a stranger. I will not.
I've always had to fend and do things alone. Even as a child So an I introvert I am. It served me well at times. Especially in the Army. Must trust your gut.
I'll sleep.and think more tomorrow. I hunt and fish to relax. Not be on edge.

Sarge

In this day and age nobody is ever stranded with no way out. You may end up having a blast and meeting new friends. That being said, I would probably not go because I have lost my sense of adventure

Angela( I think) being paranoid has kept me alive in some very bad and almost deadly situations.
But, you may be right. Just go with the flow.

Sarge

Chris Kyle....just saying.

I bet Ned Beatty wishes he hadn't gone fishing with too many questionable friends. At the least you should wear your chastity belt.

Hahahaha!

Sgt., are you going with your gut, or just avoiding something you normally consider uncomfortable? I've met some very good friends in situations I would normally tend to avoid.

If you and your buddy had agreed on a trip, and then he invited them without asking, you have the right to be upset with him. He should have had the courtesy of talking to you about it BEFORE asking them. Thats said, if you trust your friend, and he assures you they are good guys and will be pleasant to be with, go with the flow with a positive attitude and it should be fine.

Good advice and I won't drop the soap.

Sarge

I would go, but driving yourself is a great idea. That way if you get there and things aren't a good time you can take a ride (back home if need be). I don't like being
'trapped" in situations that I have no control over, especially with people I don't know.

There are very few people who I know which I like to fish with. People I don't know? I'm busy that day,,,

As long as the bill will be split 4 ways instead of 2.

I wouldn't go. You won't enjoy yourself go with your feeling and stay home. Go fishing somewhere by your self.

I would at least take the opportunity to meet the others that are going before I backed out of the trip

You may find some really good people.

I bet they're a little bit apprehensive as well

After you meet them then you can go with your gut.

Stay home and watch " City Slickers ". The three go on a cattle drive.

Id stay home

I have met a lot of strangers that turned into friends

That being said, I am more of an extrovert

Going with your gut would mean meeting them and feeling that something was off. You are just scared. Fear like that keeps people from enjoying life. Like going on fishing trips. Or go by yourself if thats your thing. I wouldn't want to hang out with anyone either but just on the grounds that they were there and I don't want to hear them talk, not that something bad was going to happen.

I would not go

I have always believed that when your gut is speaking to you, follow what it is telling you. I have often felt it is God speaking in a way that too many ignore. Just me.

Mac

I would met them first to see if they are the type I can deal with. If they are go, if not don't. I would not be to keen on going with some strangers either. Paranoia is just total awareness.

The folks saying you are being a bit paranoid and perhaps missing an opportunity to make new friends are probably right, but that doesn't make you wrong. Have you asked your friend if these are folks he has known for a while, or marginal people he is trying to help? It's going to be hard to make friends when you are uncomfortable. If you were going fishing on a pier, or from the bank it would be different because you can leave at any time. On a boat you are there for the duration. If these are not marginal people but old friends of your friend, I would say push yourself out of your comfort zone and go. If marginal "projects" of your friend, maybe not. Another factor to consider is the safety of your friend. He might find himself needing back up. Is that a good enough reason to go?

To me the entire thing sounds like something a high school kid would dream up. Do you think they are plotting to kill you? Most all your posts are about being a GI Joe hero or Dick Tracy. Is it common for you to get in a shoot out when fishing? You need to do a reality check.

Don’t go. From the sound of it you will ruin the trip for the other three.

1. Tell him you're sick last minute and pay him your share of the charter fee so as not to leave him holding the bag.
2. Decide not to go because you don't know these guys. Ask your friend to explain to the new guys exactly why you decided not to go. If your friend lies to them and they find out, it will not work to his or their benefit.
3. Go and take it as a learning experience for you. I don't like being in crowds or around people but I can get along with anyone. With you as a vet, you have dealt with ALL kinds of people. Trust me, so have I. Trust your friend. If he is your friend, you chose to be friends with him because you trust his judgement in character. He has dealt with a lot more societal dregs than you have as former LE.
4. Go and be stand offish and sit on one side of the boat and ignore the new guys or give them the cold shoulder. Who will be the weirdo in that situation?

You have a lot of choices Sgt. Make the choice to help your friend, help those other people, and maybe, just maybe, make some new friends.

If they give you the hee bee jee bees, jump off the boat and swim to shore.

And according to the title of this thread, be honest.

What is your gut telling you?

I see my gut as my connection to GOD. People say "I just had a feeling I should (or should not) have done X".

We all get that feeling. Sometimes we REALLY want to do something and we get that weird "feeling" we should not do it. If you don't trust that "feeling" you almost always fail. And vice versa.

Follow your gut even though you very well may be fighting exactly what your gut is telling you. Be honest with yourself and follow that gut feeling even though it may be something you don't want to do.

Like you said, your gut has always served you well. That gut feeling is GOD talking to you. HE will never steer you wrong.

And besides, are you actually gonna turn down a chance to go fishing? Seriously?

Are you thinking a Chris Kyle situation??? Is this actually a gut feeling or just a what if scenario? The fact you posted, then I’d go ahead and inform him you won’t be going because you’ve already made it up in your head it’s a bad situation. Stay home for all their sake.

I met a guy online (old Southern Duck Hunters site) umpteen years ago about a Kansas turkey trip. He was just looking for someone to go with him. I’d never met the guy and he’d never met me. Trip was eye opening for me and fueled my addiction to travel for turkeys. Still friends to this day and hunted every different species of turkey with this guy over the years. Never had a gut instinct telling me not to go, I did have some worse case scenarios play out in my head prior to that first trip.

If it’s a true “gut” instinct then don’t go!

1st I would tell your friend he should of discussed them going on the trip with you before asking them.if he's a true friend.i would never think of inviting other people without discussing it.who initially wanted to go on the trip did you ask him or did he ask you.if you want to you could set up a meeting with everyone going to discuss the trip and get a feel for them that way before committing to going.

OP, I don't think you are following your gut, you are just remaining in your rut of distrust.
I am about the direct opposite of you when it comes to being around new people, however, I think I am fairly good at discerning bad characters;; especially when it comes to financial matters.
It's never too late to learn how to cultivate relationships. Start conversations by asking questions.
Go on the trip

Hi Sweetheart. I know things are slow in ND and the cattle run scared. Thanks for paying attention to my posts. No war hero (those service members didn't make it home). Just a veteran who has seen and been through alot.
So, if you would kindly look in the mirror and asked yourself. Why are you so hateful?


Also, sure would like to see your DD214. I bet you don't have one. So, what was your excuse? Lack of courage or let the other guy do it?
MJM, don't care to feud with you. Been through too much in life to go down that dark road. So, I will leave you this.
I wish you well. Try and help someone instead of being a total jerk.

Sarge

How long did it take for you to be friends with this one who invited others, a day, weeks or years, do you have other friends you shy away from because they make you feel uncomfortable ??

Is this you being a paranoid shizco, do you see where others may see this, how did you become a friend with this friend only because he is a retired policeman and not on any other level ?

Is this the only friend you do anything with ?
If all these questions are unanswered or yes, it's you and not the people, maybe learning about how to be with
others may be a good thing for you to do, if you are driving is it just by your self or doing it for all, if you don't like the trip,
would you just up and leave them hanging, or announce rules for the trip because you don't know them very well.

And how would one know to be friends with any one unless they did something with them besides talk ?

Go and have a new experience, you may just learn a new way to enjoy life ! We don't have life for very long !

I would suggest following your last sentence of advice in the above post.

It’s never too late to meet new and amazing people, some who like yourself may have cultivated a lot of mistrust throughout life and need a friend. Life is better with others surrounding you. God bless

Yep I guess this is where I am coming from. When I was 24 I hopped in my truck and drove from NY to IN to spend a week camping with a bunch of men I'd never met at a convention (I did know there would be at least one wife there). To this day I think nothing about hopping in the car or on a plane to meet people I've never met in person to pursue outdoor related activities. I hate to think about how much I would have missed out on had I not taken those chances.

I know it's hard to step out of our comfort zone, but don't give up. I watched my own father (a career military man) try to deal with the very things you mentioned. He got to the point where he didn't even go to our graduations, weddings, or birthday parties. I know he often regretted those things until the day he died. Don't sell yourself short; there are others waiting to make a new friend and meet you.

I agree with you, Sarge. I would just say it sounds kind of crowded for a fishing trip. Maybe another time, but thanks for the invite.

My DD214 says I was Active Duty over 20 years , so there is that. You are a just a drama queen trying to show everyone what a victim you are. It was the same when you played LEO. Always drama.

I totally get the not being trapped feeing

I no longer have the reasons to need to return home I once did

Yes I have felt a bit of question and uncomfortably going into new situations like this.

so far they have all gone well , learned things met people had great experiences.

maybe a compromise and a good way to sell it , take 2 trucks that way should you have to leave you can , and you have your gear with in your truck. you can ride 2 and 2 so that everyone has time to talk one on one and get to know each other.
then if one truck has an issue you have backup or if you need to go the 3 of them can ride home in the other truck.

now from the Christian angle ,as men we want to control , we want to defend , we want to secure. but we don't always learn or serve the best that way. there are no shortage of uncomfortable movements and situations in the bible. so a simple prayer , His will , not our will , amen

think about how , you might answer the calling without the man's desire to secure getting in the way at least not too much.

Not to derail this thread, but years ago my brother had a few guy friends who went on what was supposed to be a guys trip to one of the guys cabin. One guy shows up with his girl friend, he says to the others, "I didn't think you would mind if I brought her"; of course they minded.

The other guys came up with a plan. After dinner, one of the guys quickly gathered the dirty plates off the table, placed them on the floor and called in the dogs to lick them clean, the guys (except for one) all played along, the girlfriend expressed her disgust, but the plan really had it's desired effect when the "clean" plates were gathered up and neatly stacked back in the cupboard.

Reasonable to ask if he vetted them. Did he say they are good?


I’ve hunted and fished with folks I don’t know. They were all vetted by the person who invited them. When hunting I always ask about safety and ask a few questions. If in a blind we go over firearm safety rules.

Other than that, it’s always nice to meet new people and possibly get a new person to hunting and fishing with and share hunting and fishing stories. I’m a little more on the extrovert side and I am also around new people with firearms quite often, so there is that. I tend to get a good read on people.


Always good to be cautious if sharing a place with someone, but sometimes it’s ok to experience new things.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

Don't let the voices win.

Have a one day trial run with them somewhere? even just for lunch maybe first.....jk

Did he go or didn't he go?