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Re: Am I the jerk?? [Re: Reaperman] #8499812
11/08/25 08:03 AM
11/08/25 08:03 AM
Joined: Jun 2016
Michigan
T
Trapper Dahlgren Offline
trapper
Trapper Dahlgren  Offline
trapper
T

Joined: Jun 2016
Michigan
you have an opportunity to ask him to come rifle hunting with you, shoot a doe or small buck and get him excited about harvesting a deer, give them some meat, show him how to help his mom provide for the family, if he does get into it, its ok but you tried

Re: Am I the jerk?? [Re: Reaperman] #8499815
11/08/25 08:07 AM
11/08/25 08:07 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Beaman Iowa 55
M
Mike Cope Offline
trapper
Mike Cope  Offline
trapper
M

Joined: Dec 2006
Beaman Iowa 55
We as kids went Hunting with Dad Several times before we were allowed to carry a Gun or Bow.

Learned gun safety, hunting, etiquette and ethics with a stick, then Red Rider.

Does the kid have a hunter safety card?? If not there is your "out" not that you should need one.

https://www.dnr.state.mn.us/safety/index.html

Re: Am I the jerk?? [Re: Trapper Dahlgren] #8499830
11/08/25 08:49 AM
11/08/25 08:49 AM
Joined: Jan 2007
central Haudenosaunee, the De...
W
white marlin Offline
trapper
white marlin  Offline
trapper
W

Joined: Jan 2007
central Haudenosaunee, the De...
Originally Posted by Trapper Dahlgren
you have an opportunity to ask him to come rifle hunting with you, shoot a doe or small buck and get him excited about harvesting a deer, give them some meat, show him how to help his mom provide for the family, if he does get into it, its ok but you tried


this is where I am...let him sit with you a day or two for rifle season (if you don't tag out today)

Re: Am I the jerk?? [Re: Reaperman] #8499838
11/08/25 09:19 AM
11/08/25 09:19 AM
Joined: Sep 2023
MO
C
Crappiekiller Offline
trapper
Crappiekiller  Offline
trapper
C

Joined: Sep 2023
MO
I don’t think you are a jerk at all.

I had a nephew that I took deer hunting his last 3 years of youth season. He would spend the night and killed a buck one year and a doe the next the first day for the first 2 years. On year 3, after the morning hunt he told me he couldn’t hunt the evening as he had a party to go to (he was 15 then). Last year he asked if I had been seeing any deer and I told him all we had were young bucks and neither me or my 2 sons would be hunting our land. We would be hunting on one of the family’s farm that was having crop damage and needed doe’s shot. Fast forward till this Tuesday, same nephew comes up and ask if we are seeing any good deer. I tell him we have several nice bucks on camera and have already taken the 2 mature bucks with archery. He informs me he will be out to hunt. I laugh and tell nephew that is not how it works. I explained how permission to hunt should be asked and when. I did give him permission but only if he calls to let me know so I can be there. Our property line is not clearly marked so don’t want him on the neighbors and he has no way of getting a deer out by himself. He also has no idea of where the stands are and I don’t want him wandering around messing up everyone else’s hunt.


CK
Re: Am I the jerk?? [Re: Reaperman] #8499847
11/08/25 09:32 AM
11/08/25 09:32 AM
Joined: Dec 2022
North Central WA.
J
Jingles Offline
trapper
Jingles  Offline
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J

Joined: Dec 2022
North Central WA.
Maybe this is martially unacceptable but if your wife is adamant about taking an unprepared youth hunting tell her to take him


The job of a Patriot is not to protect his country but to protect the people from the tryannical government
Re: Am I the jerk?? [Re: Reaperman] #8499848
11/08/25 09:33 AM
11/08/25 09:33 AM
Joined: Sep 2022
Kansas
K
Kansasace2 Offline
trapper
Kansasace2  Offline
trapper
K

Joined: Sep 2022
Kansas
Well obviously Big Brothers and a big Sisters isn’t your thing or others….

Re: Am I the jerk?? [Re: Reaperman] #8499859
11/08/25 09:46 AM
11/08/25 09:46 AM
Joined: Jan 2017
Marion Kansas
Y
Yes sir Offline
trapper
Yes sir  Offline
trapper
Y

Joined: Jan 2017
Marion Kansas
Your points are probably mostly correct, your approach might not have been the best. You can be a jerk and be right at the same time....

Re: Am I the jerk?? [Re: Kansasace2] #8499865
11/08/25 09:53 AM
11/08/25 09:53 AM
Joined: Feb 2020
Indiana
P
Providence Farm Online content
trapper
Providence Farm  Online Content
trapper
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Joined: Feb 2020
Indiana
Originally Posted by Kansasace2
Well obviously Big Brothers and a big Sisters isn’t your thing or others….



Clearly reading the situation and giving it any thought at all befor posting is not yours.

Would you take a kid bow hunting that can at best hit a paper plat 3 out of 5 times with a 20 lb bow that has not been practicing, does not know anatomy and shot angle placement, and you don't have 2 man stands set up o only getting asked about it the night before the hunt.

Im sure you would jump right on that.

sounds like he has no issue taking him if he put in the work and was prepared. Not the last minute crap and likely loosing a deer if he shoots one.

The issue is not taking the kid its his wife being mad. Myself well.... if my wife did/acted like he says his is she would be down the road. She is being childish and showing him zero respect. I won't tolerate that.

Last edited by Providence Farm; 11/08/25 10:00 AM.
Re: Am I the jerk?? [Re: Reaperman] #8499866
11/08/25 09:57 AM
11/08/25 09:57 AM
Joined: Mar 2010
S.C. Montana
M
MTtraps Offline
trapper
MTtraps  Offline
trapper
M

Joined: Mar 2010
S.C. Montana
Unfortunately not uncommon with wives, they get mad at you on something they know little or nothing about

Re: Am I the jerk?? [Re: Reaperman] #8499872
11/08/25 10:04 AM
11/08/25 10:04 AM
Joined: Jan 2017
Marion Kansas
Y
Yes sir Offline
trapper
Yes sir  Offline
trapper
Y

Joined: Jan 2017
Marion Kansas
The nice thing would have to share a plan of how you will help him aquire the skills to be able to deer hunt instead of telling them 20 reasons why he cant hunt. Now if u just dont want to take him just politely decline

Re: Am I the jerk?? [Re: MTtraps] #8499875
11/08/25 10:07 AM
11/08/25 10:07 AM
Joined: Feb 2020
Indiana
P
Providence Farm Online content
trapper
Providence Farm  Online Content
trapper
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Joined: Feb 2020
Indiana
Originally Posted by MTtraps
Unfortunately not uncommon with wives, they get mad at you on something they know little or nothing about



Then they don't respect you or your judgment and let you lead. Even when there is a difference of opinion she needs to know/believe you have her and the families best intres in mind and have respect and confidence in your decision making and leadership. If not and she wants to lead At that point you are the wifeb not the husband.

Re: Am I the jerk?? [Re: Providence Farm] #8499892
11/08/25 10:48 AM
11/08/25 10:48 AM
Joined: Feb 2015
Iowa
T
trapdog1 Offline
trapper
trapdog1  Offline
trapper
T

Joined: Feb 2015
Iowa
Originally Posted by Providence Farm
Originally Posted by MTtraps
Unfortunately not uncommon with wives, they get mad at you on something they know little or nothing about



Then they don't respect you or your judgment and let you lead. Even when there is a difference of opinion she needs to know/believe you have her and the families best intres in mind and have respect and confidence in your decision making and leadership. If not and she wants to lead At that point you are the wifeb not the husband.


Originally Posted by Providence Farm
Originally Posted by MTtraps
Unfortunately not uncommon with wives, they get mad at you on something they know little or nothing about



Then they don't respect you or your judgment and let you lead. Even when there is a difference of opinion she needs to know/believe you have her and the families best intres in mind and have respect and confidence in your decision making and leadership. If not and she wants to lead At that point you are the wifeb not the husband.


Yeah. Tell her to get back in the kitchen and be quiet.
The notion that she doesn't respect you because she has a difference of opinion is ridiculous.

Last edited by trapdog1; 11/08/25 11:05 AM.

American Karens - not a fan
Re: Am I the jerk?? [Re: Reaperman] #8499897
11/08/25 11:03 AM
11/08/25 11:03 AM
Joined: Feb 2020
Wyoming
wytex Offline
trapper
wytex  Offline
trapper

Joined: Feb 2020
Wyoming
Not hard to see who is divorced.
Let her read this thread, well maybe not as she will likely see what kind of things men post about women.

He is not ready and maybe not legal to hunt with that bow, explain that to her.
I would also state that he has a Dad, let him take the kid hunting.

Lots of lonely men on here it sounds like, they tend to get pizzy when they can't get any.

Re: Am I the jerk?? [Re: Reaperman] #8499898
11/08/25 11:04 AM
11/08/25 11:04 AM
Joined: Apr 2009
South Ga - Almost Florida
Swamp Wolf Offline
trapper
Swamp Wolf  Offline
trapper

Joined: Apr 2009
South Ga - Almost Florida
Seems to me that Reaperman's wife doesn't know much about bow hunting.


Thank God For Your Blessings!
Never Half-Arse Anything!

Resource Protection Service

Re: Am I the jerk?? [Re: waggler] #8499899
11/08/25 11:04 AM
11/08/25 11:04 AM
Joined: Jan 2014
Virginia
5
52Carl Offline
trapper
52Carl  Offline
trapper
5

Joined: Jan 2014
Virginia
Originally Posted by waggler
I can hardly believe the advice I'm seeing given here.
Here's a great opportunity to make a huge difference in this fatherless kids life.
I get way more enjoyment helping and seeing a youngster get started in hunting or trapping than I get out of those pursuits.
Yeah, I think you're being somewhat of a jerk, or selfish; hey, you asked the question.

My sentiments pretty much line up with yours.
I was 'that kid' growing up. Without the selfless mentors outside of my family who recognized my passion for hunting, trapping, fishing and sports and went out of their way to guide me, I hate to think what would have become of me.
As a result of that experience, I have become one of those selfless souls who do what they can to help kids who have no one to guide them.

Re: Am I the jerk?? [Re: Reaperman] #8499901
11/08/25 11:05 AM
11/08/25 11:05 AM
Joined: Feb 2007
Killingly, CT
Brian Mongeau Offline
trapper
Brian Mongeau  Offline
trapper

Joined: Feb 2007
Killingly, CT
Taking the kid hunting, and letting him "hunt" are two different things. Take him for a cold morning hunt, dressed appropriately. See if he can sit still, be quiet, be excited about everything he sees. If he can get up early to be miserable and cold, and can't wait to go again, he may have potential. Build on that.

Re: Am I the jerk?? [Re: Reaperman] #8499902
11/08/25 11:06 AM
11/08/25 11:06 AM
Joined: May 2018
SW Georgia
W
Wanna Be Offline
trapper
Wanna Be  Offline
trapper
W

Joined: May 2018
SW Georgia
Forget the bow hunting…just take the kid “if” he really wants to go. Explain to him he needs to understand hunting before killing.
And y’all have some of the worst youth laws I’ve ever heard of. Sorry kid, you haven’t passed your requires test so therefore you can’t hunt. I never once forced my kids to go or anyone else’s, but if they asked to go, they went. Personally I don’t think you should take anyone hunting, you appear to be the type to get jealous if they killed something bigger than you killed.
All my ladder stands are 2 man stands just incase someone wants to go. Heck, send the kid down here. We’ll spend half a day shooting rifles and the rest stacking deer. He only gets one buck, but can shoot does until we run out of bullets.
As far as bowhunting, I’d tell him like I told mine. Here’s the bow, here’s how to shoot it, now when you can give my a 4” group of 5 arrows at 20yds we’ll go.

Re: Am I the jerk?? [Re: Reaperman] #8500003
11/08/25 03:18 PM
11/08/25 03:18 PM
Joined: Dec 2012
Wi.
D
Diggerman Offline
trapper
Diggerman  Offline
trapper
D

Joined: Dec 2012
Wi.
Buy a 12ver, a pack of Malboros, have a sit down boys night. The wommin wont bother you no more.


Just the right amount of whelm.
Re: Am I the jerk?? [Re: Reaperman] #8500007
11/08/25 03:31 PM
11/08/25 03:31 PM
Joined: Sep 2008
NC
B
bowhunter27295 Offline
trapper
bowhunter27295  Offline
trapper
B

Joined: Sep 2008
NC
Originally Posted by Reaperman
He does have a bow, I have an elevated stand in my yard I use to practice on. Last summer I was off work one day and he was over. I let him shoot all he wanted. First I cranked his bow up to 25 lbs from 20. I’m sure that hasn’t changed. It’s a decent bow that zips arrows pretty well for the poundage. But I believe in Mn it’s 35 minimum and I doubt he can pull that. As far as accuracy, he could hit the target most of the time. He could hit a paper plate 2 of 5 maybe. He’s not ready to hunt. His step dad is a putz who has guns but I’m not sure why. As long as I’ve known him he hasn’t hunted. I told my wife there is 300 acres of state land two miles away his step dad could take him hunting on. In fact I hunted there for a good 5 years exclusively until I bought my home property nearby. It was my only option.

Why they bought him a bow to begin with is puzzling. If his step dad was planning on hunting with him, great, I’m all for it. But my own hunting time is limited. Most evenings I struggle to get a hour or maybe 2 in after work. But once October hits it gets dark fast etc and I don’t get out bow hunting myself. If he were older or grew up in a hunting family it would be a different situation, but it’s not. I just needed to vent a bit tonight, I’m getting the silent treatment from the war dept and I’m trying to wrap my head around how I got tossed into the center of this kind of stupidity. It’s November, bow hunting opened in Sept. it’s cold, after this Sunday, every deer in the area will be spooked until next year, and it’s going to be 20 degrees tomorrow morning. Not a good recipe to sit on a portable stand for an 11 yr old.


Your wife does not understand the necessities that must be completed before taking up hunting.

Hunter ed, strength to pull the necessary poundage, shooting a squirrel with a 22 first, boots, cold weather clothing, broad heads, etc.

If you take him now and he wounds a deer and you don't find it, he will think either he failed or the reset button was pressed on a video game.

You are not a jerk. You are being the responsible party in this fiasco. Stand your ground and take him only when he has done the pre season sweat, scouted, hung a stand, practiced with the bow til baseball or less size proficient at 30 yards, and most of all, passed his hunter ed class. And then only if you want to. If you don't want to be a hunting mentor, don't. It will only make his experience a bad one.


How many lies will people believe before they realize their own idiocy?
Re: Am I the jerk?? [Re: Reaperman] #8500010
11/08/25 03:41 PM
11/08/25 03:41 PM
Joined: Mar 2018
Pa.
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Bigbrownie Offline
trapper
Bigbrownie  Offline
trapper
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Joined: Mar 2018
Pa.
This late in the game, with no prior preparation, the boy would simply be a shooter, not a hunter. Lots to learn, and it doesn’t start by pulling the trigger.

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