I aint doing it. My dad is about to turn 90 and mom is 87. Both have a good many age related health issues. My oldest brother and I are retired so along with one of our SIL's we get them to all of their appointments. which is quite an ordeal but oh well. We take turns cooking for them except for the weeks My SIL has her chemo treatment and my oldest brothers wife has hers, then I take care of everything for them and cook for the others. It will wear you out but that is what I am supposed to do. I am blessed with a great retirement and am able to do so.

Having worked may deaths of elderly folks in these so called Nursing homes, many were from absolute neglect by the staff, I will die before I allow either of my parents go into one of these facilities!!

The most egregious case was an elderly paraplegic woman, way late in the laten stage of dementia. She had a trach tube and during the autopsy the Autopsy lab Pathologist determined that her trach tube had been neglected to the point it had calcified and the breathing opening was 100 percent blocked due to the calcification. So this precious, helpless widow women suffocated. It was ruled a homicide due to neglect. I still to this day can not bring myself to understand why the State Prosecutor nor the AG Office Special Investigative unit did not prosecute any of the staff who lied on the charts for saying, in writing and then initialing that they had cleaned that trach tube. Every single one of them should have been prosecuted.

the family, if you can call them that, did of course sue the owners. It was settled before trial. Yet no individual was ever held accountable. LufkinTrapper would be the only person on here that would know which facility this was because they were constantly being shut down and then sold, only to open again under another name.

For these reasons, I can not in any form of good conscious allow either of my parents or brothers to be a victim in one of these places.

what are yalls opinions on such facilities where you live and your experiences.

Thank you for any input and advice

I chose to care for mom and dad at their home. I hired a couple local gals to take some of the work load but the sis and I did all the rest as needed. As things got worse health wise we got them on hospice care which gives them the medical care as needed. Then we traded nites towards the end so there was always someone there.

They both passed at home in time.

I have been caring for my wife now for many years at home. Just don't have it in me to place her in a home of sorts. It changes your life but sometimes you must make sacrifices for those you care for.

Amen to what you said Bob. God bless you for your dedication and care for your mom and pops along with your wife.

My parents died before we had to make that choice. Mom did live a few years in an apartment where she had a nurse come daily to assist with her needs. You're lucky if you have time and/or help to do it all yourself without a nursing home. There are some people who wouldn't allow you to do it either.

Both my mom and dad said they didn't want to be a burden and to go ahead put them in a home when the time came. But they in fact did take care of their own parents until the end at home. My siblings and I took turns caring for last living grandparent so that my folks could get weekends free.

My last living parent stayed at home until almost the end when she broke a hip. Died a couple of months later in a nursing home while we were there. She also had advanced alzheimers.

I understand that ADC and thanks for posting. I do not want anyone to think I would disregard their and their siblings decision on how to deal with such a situation and heaven knows there are times and medical conditions that would warrant a much higher level of care that some can provide. We have enough RN's and PA's here that are family that we are truly blessed. Many or most do not. I fully understand that and I would never condemn nor judge someone for not being able to provide the level of care that a family member requires and needs.

It hurts my heart to see so many elderly folks just shuttled to these facilities because the ones who are supposed to care for them as they age see them as an inconvenience to their lifestyle. There are so many elderly shut ins that few even know about let alone check on. This is just wrong. I refuse to say what I do and how many I help due to their own blood relatives just not caring.

Never would I have thought our moral and God given command to take care of the widows and orphans would have been something that shaped out in this manner. It is a very sad thing. yet, each and every one of us have an opportunity to step up. It doesnt take a whole lot to love on these folks, feed them, pay a few bills if the need is there. Our Church and others have networked with others in this area to seek out these shut ins and to help them. The black folks and churches are far better at this and I am blessed to know a TON of these old folks that have taught me so much. They truly are salt of the earth people, who still take care of those in need.

I used to take my kid when he was about 10-11 years old to visit the folks in memory care at a local care giving facility. Those folks sure did appreciate it. Life got too busy for me to keep it up though.

My stepson works there now as a caregiver.

Depends on yours or their insurance of what they had there is a type of medical called Assisted living. Someone can come to their home 8 hours a day to help them out. Some people just arent ready for nursing home so assisted living may be an option for you. RN (registered Nurse) can come to your place or theirs for an amount of time.

I changed my life when my mother broke her ankle in early 2019. I've been doing her cooking and cleaning since then. She's had a few other health issues since then, but with patience and much prayer she's been doing well.
I would never call it a burden, I call it a blessing that I get to spend more time with her.
I live right beside her now so that I'm only a few seconds away.
I used to stop by everyday after work to check on my father before his passing.
Unfortunately my father passed away in the hospital and not at home where he wanted to be when he met his maker.
Sheepdog, you're a good man

The family members that are RN's would come by to check on my parents. My parents insurance is rock solid so caring for them here with a bit of assistance would be manageable. And I do understand that this is a not so common situation. I wish my dad would donate his body to science. that ole fart has smoked since he was 14-15 and is still rocking. No serious health issues from smoking, all are age related. Hec, his body is just worn out.

My daughters first job after nursing school was in a long term care place. She loved the residents. BUT they were under staffed and she got ran to death. She was always doing things that didn't get done not taking time to take lunch or a break.. From simple things like making sure lotion were applied on the old skin that was to be done every day. But the lady when telling my daughter how nice that made her feel on her third day doing it told her she was the only one that did it. Even though it was charted and supposed to be done every day. She would get bead sores almost healed up to have them back after having days off.

Then things like running out of meds and wanting her to give one that was one mb higher dose than prescribed. They didn't like when she said no to that becuse its not what the rx was for and reporting when thing are not geting done.

Now she works in a hospital 2x further and took a pay cut since she was geting a $12 an hour premium taking the weekend shifts but its a much better environment and it sounds like the weekend shifts also with nice premium are opening up at her new location.

No I dont have a great opinion of them.

That said my grate aunt was in one that was very nice and she was well taken care of. But it was also more private, my great uncle went to see her every single day and have lunch except sunday so accountable was expected. Older people with no one checking on them and without financial backing dont get the same care

Been there while I was still working it was rough but it can be done