Ok so does anyone else do this or am I just some kinda alien ? Idk why maybe it's because of the army or something but generally when people get super emotional around me in an argument or something I just tend to shut down . The whole engagement becomes very analytical to me . What's the problem, what are the possible solutions, is this person just doing this to manipulate me with there emotions, what could happen if I respond emotionally, how to do I get tour do this without extra problems. That's just how I think when folks get super emotional towards me a lot of times. Unless your my wife or something even then I draw back a little . Have gotten told multiple times by my captain and others I need to work on it but Im never told what actually needs to be done . What's the proper reaction. What they want me to do
I messed up, I get yelled or talked at , I take the but chewing , learn from it , I don't take it personally ,move on try not to repeat. What else is there ? Am I supposed to hop up and down and yell or cry or something? Like don't get me wrong I understand sometimes folks just need to vent or whatever and when that's the deal and you tell me you just need to vent yeah I'll sit there pat your back and hand you a tissue and listen for a bit because honestly everyone needs some compassion even now and then (even then. I'm shutting down some )but past that idk man

I’m not exactly following….sounds like you are saying if there is a heated discussion and particularly a problem with your work or otherwise, you take it to heart and do better without throwing a fit…and your boss tells you that you aren’t responding correctly??

I don’t think that’s a bad way to be, you’re probably saving yourself from high blood pressure if you let things roll off your back!

On the other hand, if you don’t know how to be empathetic, there are lots of people like that. I don’t think there’s something wrong with you I think it’s maybe a defense mechanism. Lending a hearing ear and a shoulder to cry on is very nice for someone who needs it but helping people emotionally can quickly become burdensome and obligatory.

I mean I'm empathetic,like you tell me you dog died or something I'm gonna get in the feels but you start hooping and hollering and start flailing around on the ground I can't help but just think " ummmm....." And dont Get me wrong I get like that everyone and then but there just a point to where it's like something trips and goes " ok your doing to much this isn't helping anyone or anything"

And yeah my I've had some bosses who hated it , current one again says I need to work on it . Again won't tell me what I need to do or proper response just keeps saying I shut down and he doesn't like it . So again I'm confused Shoot the last tankerman we had on here was worse he'd look at you like a serial killer and just tell you your being to emotional and if you wanted to continue this conversation you'd have to calm down .

Had some say they love it because they feel it's just a strictly business thing . Some of my friends says they will only come and talk to me if they actually want a solution

Also I know I can get a lil out there when I actually get all emotional so I just don't like to talk when I'm angry or whatever.

Ask what the SOP for X situation is

you can perform the task needed if you know what task is needed


IE , stop the bleed , stabilize the patient , but you are not a shrink , you are a combat medic and EOD tech

there has to be a procedure to work or it is just you adding to the hysterics

I can relate, worse than shutting down if someone gets angry and starts hollering I sometimes start smiling. I'm pretty non reactionary in general.

I don't have a lot of empathy, so I really don't get involved with folks going off the rails, and frankly those people aren't looking for a solution to their problem, just want to vent and have you agree with them....As for your boss, not sure what to say, I guess you just say yep, sure whatever you want, or , are you sure you want it done that way?...I don't know...just know people are weird, lol

People don't get out of control around me. Find a new family.

I do have the occasional employee lose their mind over something silly once in a while. I usually sit silently and let them finish and then tell them " dont ever do that again" and then we talk about whatever it is. Occasionally you do run into somebody who can't control their emotions. I just move on. I will.not let them become my problem.

…. You don’t pee your britches are anything like that do ya ?

I think you should do the same

say , you know I came from EOD right ? so if we have a bomb to defuse we do it we don't scream and holler about it.
we can work on fixing the issue but hot heads and flammable liquids don't mix so I am going to need you to cool down.

do that super dead pan

You will find that a great percentage of folks that make it to leadership positions are severely handicapped when it comes to leadership skills.
They may have worked hard and learned the trade or business but the vast majority have no idea of. how to lead.

Mac

Nah played with the engineers and some C4 for a day but I was just a grease monkey lol. And I'll be honest, I hate using my military experience as any kinda whatever. Always seems to get people in there feelings who didn't serve . The I gotta hear the " well I'd would have enlisted but" stories like I'm sorry but most of the time I just don't care . I don't look down on people for not joining but at the same time when your trying to give me your 15min long excuse

And I mean it's not even just works stuff . There some subjects I just don't like talking about or discussing because people always seem to get all emotional and when I just kinda shut down and get all analytical it usually ends up awkward. Politics, civil war , race relations, are three major ones for me . One of the guys on here love to try and debate politics but usually just end up with him getting all huffed up and red in the face . Told me I don't have any passion and people who really care get emotional. Told him people are very easy to manipulate once you get them properly emotional and hard to actually have productive conversations with I don't like the idea of being manipulated

They knew that you were a man when they hired you. Men don't emote. Not real ones anyway.
When my wife or one of my tightly wound friends starts going off, I don't start yelling back. I let them vent until they get it all out, then I come in as the adult in the room and offer them my advice. After that, if the hollering continues, I just simply leave.

People are used to throwing a fit and getting their way, they figure the more dramatic the better

I didn't figure anyone that worked on a barge (or any other labor intensive job) would fall into that part of the population but guess it is spreading into everything

You guys are terrible about reading between the lines

Ahhh , yup those sound like topics I like to avoid as well.

I do like to shut down civil war , with well you best hope it doesn't happen because I don't see you living very long if it did.

politics , why don't you get back to me when you find an honest politician. Right now I am busy hating them all. the lesser of 2 evils is still evil.

race relations , well they only matter to people who are racist everyone else is just busy living life.

This is it exactly. Have a plan, do the plan. I really don't like me on emotion, my emotion is anger and anger has hurt people.