When you are dancing with your honey and her nose is kinda runny your friends will think it's funny but it's snot !

Flatter than a stretched out string.

Who bit your puppy?

Who poured sand on your lolypop?

Who kicked your trike in the ditch?

The grass is always greener on the other side but it's tougher to cut

Like a baby loves his bottle

I'd never marry an old maid
I'll tell you the reason why
Her lips are all tobacco juice and her chin is never dry

For a fat girl, you sure don't sweat much.

Hotter than a j__- off rabbit

Some people are so smart they're stupid.

Harder than chinese algibra!

a bird in the hand has probably gonna poop.

You've educated yourself stupid!

a rolling stone will probably hit something of mine and break it.

I'll slap the taste out of your mouth .
I'll be on you like white on rice .

Effective as fartin the wind/ pissin in the ocean. Ugly enough to Gag a maggot.

Im on it like a hobo on a hot dawg

once you have seen one,you wanna see them all.

I’ll slap the lips off your head.

That guy lies so much He has to have some one else call his dog for him.

When I was little,,we were so poor when we went to Kentucky fried chicken we had to lick OTHER PEOPLES fingers !!!

haven't seen you in a coon's age

happens once in a blue moon (which I think is technically twice/yr)

that is slicker than owl poo

he needs his head knocked so far down, he can look out his belly button

that goes over like a fart in Sunday school

Tougher than a pine knot!