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Re: observation on Divorces [Re: adam m] #7461096
01/14/22 10:35 PM
01/14/22 10:35 PM
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,965
MN
D
Donnersurvivor Offline
trapper
Donnersurvivor  Offline
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D

Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,965
MN
Originally Posted by adam m
To the youngsters, pick them wisely.

I learned people can develop bi polar in there mid/late 20s... even if you think you picked right there are no guarantees but death and taxes.

Re: observation on Divorces [Re: adam m] #7461110
01/14/22 10:50 PM
01/14/22 10:50 PM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,857
Western Shore Delaware
SJA Offline
trapper
SJA  Offline
trapper

Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,857
Western Shore Delaware
Originally Posted by adam m
To the youngsters, pick them wisely.

Generally, "marriage" is a written CONTRACT. Unfortunately, it does not define all the issues in the "future details". The words "Love "and Lust" both begin with the letter "L" and have four letters. The main causes in divorce are sex, finances, in-laws, and "friends". Think about these before you say "I do" because one of you may say "no you don't". Experience is a strenuous teacher.


"Humans are the hardest people to get along with."
Dr. Phillip Snow
Re: observation on Divorces [Re: SJA] #7461115
01/14/22 10:53 PM
01/14/22 10:53 PM
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,965
MN
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Donnersurvivor Offline
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Donnersurvivor  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,965
MN
Originally Posted by SJA
Originally Posted by adam m
To the youngsters, pick them wisely.

Generally, "marriage" is a written CONTRACT. Unfortunately, it does not define all the issues in the "future details". The words "Love "and Lust" both begin with the letter "L" and have four letters. The main causes in divorce are sex, finances, in-laws, and "friends". Think about these before you say "I do" because one of you may say "no you don't". Experience is a strenuous teacher.


Good advice.

Re: observation on Divorces [Re: white dog] #7461116
01/14/22 10:53 PM
01/14/22 10:53 PM
Joined: Feb 2020
Posts: 3,796
Indiana
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Providence Farm Offline
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Providence Farm  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2020
Posts: 3,796
Indiana
Originally Posted by white dog
Anybody who says their ex won't let them see their kids is full of crap. You just have to man up, go to court and fight for your parental rights. If they won't give you visitation there is probably a reason. Fix that problem and go back to court. If it means getting counseling, get counseling. If it's a drinking problem, get sober.



Lol sure a simple out look guess you know it all. I have a friend thats x not wife had proven drug issues he spent 20k on the first round tryong to get his kid. There were many more rounds not one less then 10k. He never got her. Sure a few times mom got ger wrist slaped so she sid as ordered for a while tell she didnt. Then back to the lawyer abd another 10k ot more and months in court.

It was a cut and dry he should have got the kid the first round according to the law and her behavior Turnd out his x lawyer was good looking and known to spend a lot of time alone with the judge.

My wifes mom amd step dad have been married 3 times. Twice to each other.

Last edited by Providence Farm; 01/14/22 11:02 PM.
Re: observation on Divorces [Re: adam m] #7461185
01/14/22 11:53 PM
01/14/22 11:53 PM
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 24,667
nm
A
adam m Offline OP
trapper
adam m  Offline OP
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A

Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 24,667
nm
Boco, I'm sorry to hear that. That hits close to home. A good buddy had an argument with his baby mom, she threatened that she will make sure he will never ever see his son again. He committed suicide that afternoon.

White Dog, unfortunately the courts usually side with the mom and the dad has to fight like the 3rd monkey getting on the arc. I've seen women get away with lies false reports false testimony including witnesses that lie and the dad is lucky to get once a month supervised visits.

Re: observation on Divorces [Re: nate] #7461218
01/15/22 12:34 AM
01/15/22 12:34 AM
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 1,429
Wisconsin
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Bear Tracker Offline
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Bear Tracker  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 1,429
Wisconsin
Nate, If both acted and treated each other that way it may work. If your spouse decided to commit adultery, do drugs, spread disease, steal, lie, deal drugs, neglect and abuse the kids, and then the spouse is the bad person. Forgiveness is hard. Forgiveness is also not in me, never has been never will be. Vengeance I get.

Re: observation on Divorces [Re: Donnersurvivor] #7461251
01/15/22 01:27 AM
01/15/22 01:27 AM
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,914
Oregon
H
H2ORat Online content
trapper
H2ORat  Online Content
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Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,914
Oregon
Originally Posted by Donnersurvivor
Originally Posted by adam m
To the youngsters, pick them wisely.

I learned people can develop bi polar in there mid/late 20s... even if you think you picked right there are no guarantees but death and taxes.

maybe we have discovered a cause to being bi polar. jk

Re: observation on Divorces [Re: H2ORat] #7461253
01/15/22 01:33 AM
01/15/22 01:33 AM
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,965
MN
D
Donnersurvivor Offline
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Donnersurvivor  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,965
MN
Originally Posted by H2ORat

maybe we have discovered a cause to being bi polar. jk


Heh. Genetics was the clue I missed, her family was nuts, shoulda known she'd end up that way as well.

Re: observation on Divorces [Re: Gulo] #7461260
01/15/22 01:44 AM
01/15/22 01:44 AM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,227
Interior Alaska
smalltimetrapper Offline
small greenhorn
smalltimetrapper  Offline
small greenhorn

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,227
Interior Alaska
Originally Posted by Gulo
Take my comments with a grain of salt, however, as I've been married for 41 years ... to three different gals.

Jack


Lol, didn't see that last line coming.

Re: observation on Divorces [Re: Donnersurvivor] #7461331
01/15/22 07:53 AM
01/15/22 07:53 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 17,174
Sandhills Nebraska
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Gary Benson Offline
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Posts: 17,174
Sandhills Nebraska
Originally Posted by Donnersurvivor
Originally Posted by H2ORat

maybe we have discovered a cause to being bi polar. jk


Heh. Genetics was the clue I missed, her family was nuts, shoulda known she'd end up that way as well.

If you wanna know what a woman is gonna end up like, take a look at her mother.


I know I'm paranoid......but am I paranoid ENOUGH???
Re: observation on Divorces [Re: trapdog1] #7461349
01/15/22 08:19 AM
01/15/22 08:19 AM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,536
Northern Minnesota
BernieB. Offline
trapper
BernieB.  Offline
trapper

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,536
Northern Minnesota
Originally Posted by trapdog1
It always amazes me the way divorced peoples' next squeeze is often just like the one they divorced. Human nature, I guess.


Because they don't fix the problems that caused the first relationship to fail so they just take the same bad behavior patterns into the next one. Some people figure out out after 2 or three tries but some people never do. Once they realize it's their baggage that's causing them to get involved with toxic people instead of getting away from them, then they have a chance.

At the risk of starting to sound like a marriage counselor, here's one piece of advice to live by: A great marriage is not the result of finding the right person, it's the result of being the right person. I wish someone had told me that so I didn't have to screw up the first five years of my marriage.

I always hate to hear about the outliers and painful experiences such as people who lose a spouse to drug or alcohol abuse, those are tragedies, but generally, if you're in a bad relationship it's best to look inside instead of pointing fingers.

[Steps down off soapbox]

Re: observation on Divorces [Re: Providence Farm] #7461367
01/15/22 08:46 AM
01/15/22 08:46 AM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 4,159
AK
W
white dog Online sad
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 4,159
AK
Originally Posted by Providence Farm
Originally Posted by white dog
Anybody who says their ex won't let them see their kids is full of crap. You just have to man up, go to court and fight for your parental rights. If they won't give you visitation there is probably a reason. Fix that problem and go back to court. If it means getting counseling, get counseling. If it's a drinking problem, get sober.



Lol sure a simple out look guess you know it all. I have a friend thats x not wife had proven drug issues he spent 20k on the first round tryong to get his kid. There were many more rounds not one less then 10k. He never got her. Sure a few times mom got ger wrist slaped so she sid as ordered for a while tell she didnt. Then back to the lawyer abd another 10k ot more and months in court.

It was a cut and dry he should have got the kid the first round according to the law and her behavior Turnd out his x lawyer was good looking and known to spend a lot of time alone with the judge.

My wifes mom amd step dad have been married 3 times. Twice to each other.




Re: observation on Divorces [Re: Dirty D] #7461400
01/15/22 09:47 AM
01/15/22 09:47 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 8,045
Northern MN
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Osky Offline
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Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 8,045
Northern MN
Originally Posted by Dirty D
many years ago before divorce was a regular accepted thing there were couples that didn't get along but stayed together.

There was the bad stigma that went with getting a divorce and the woman had less choice than to depend upon a man to provide for her.

Now there is no societal stigma in getting divorced and women come out with child support and alimony. There is no downside for a woman to get divorced today only upsides.

If hubby isn't making her happy its time to pull the cord and jump out.

For a man the odds are you'll be in hock for many years paying the ex.

Thats why something like 70-80% of divorces are started by the wife.


There is a lot in this and other words here.
Years ago there were stigmas and pressures and financials and all that I think helped some people make a better decision about marrying in the first place. It also caused couples to put more thought into divorcing and maybe see the ramifications in a brighter light. Not to say divorce is not proper in some cases.
Today we are a far more selfish society. Poor me. Friends, media, family, poor you you have to be happy, you deserve better say those who believe misery loves company.
Kids? They do not get the respect they deserve from parents before actual divorce illustrated by the parents selfish actions. Not all but very many.
If more parents would think more about their children, and the common goal loving and being there for them, I think that commonality would go a very long way.
I know Iím painting with a broad brush and of course there are exceptions. Overall divorce is not good for the innocent. Worse is for those children never having two decent parents involved from the get go.
Osky


"A womans heart is the hardest rock the Almighty has put on this earth, and I can find no sign on it"

Jabless in Minnesota

www.SureDockusa.com
Re: observation on Divorces [Re: ShawneeMan] #7461427
01/15/22 10:15 AM
01/15/22 10:15 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 11,863
Greene County,Virginia
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run Offline
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Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 11,863
Greene County,Virginia
Originally Posted by ShawneeMan
Just a sign of the times - better than the latest newspaper headlines...

2 Timothy 3:1
This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. 2For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, 4Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;

Well said.


wanna be goat farmer.
Re: observation on Divorces [Re: adam m] #7461457
01/15/22 10:47 AM
01/15/22 10:47 AM
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 23,259
Eastern Shore of Maryland
HobbieTrapper Offline
"Chippendale Trapper"
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"Chippendale Trapper"

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 23,259
Eastern Shore of Maryland
I figured it was time to bail when my finger nails and locks of my hair were cut while I was asleep only to find them in a wooden box with some other stuff with a book about black magic in her closet. lol


-Goofy-
Re: observation on Divorces [Re: charles] #7461482
01/15/22 11:08 AM
01/15/22 11:08 AM
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 1,851
PA
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lumberjack391 Offline
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Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 1,851
PA
Originally Posted by charles
The rental storage business seems to thrive on divorces. House it sold, each party gets a small apartment, and stuff goes into storage. Often it is abandoned.

And auctions....

Re: observation on Divorces [Re: adam m] #7461487
01/15/22 11:14 AM
01/15/22 11:14 AM
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 1,851
PA
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lumberjack391 Offline
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PA
All I know is once a woman has her eye set on another guy you can do nothing right.......

Re: observation on Divorces [Re: adam m] #7461492
01/15/22 11:20 AM
01/15/22 11:20 AM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,738
B61-12 vicinity, MO
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TreedaBlackdog Offline
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B61-12 vicinity, MO
I have never known anyone who put God first in their life to get divorced,

Re: observation on Divorces [Re: TreedaBlackdog] #7461497
01/15/22 11:25 AM
01/15/22 11:25 AM
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,965
MN
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Donnersurvivor Offline
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MN
Originally Posted by TreedaBlackdog
I have never known anyone who put God first in their life to get divorced,


I don't know about that but I will say praying with my wife everyday and going to church on Sunday is much better than being with someone who chugs half a bottle of vodka before bed.

Re: observation on Divorces [Re: HobbieTrapper] #7461498
01/15/22 11:25 AM
01/15/22 11:25 AM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,536
Northern Minnesota
BernieB. Offline
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BernieB.  Offline
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Posts: 3,536
Northern Minnesota
Originally Posted by HobbieTrapper
I figured it was time to bail when my finger nails and locks of my hair were cut while I was asleep only to find them in a wooden box with some other stuff with a book about black magic in her closet. lol


Wife from the other room:
"Do you ever feel like someone has a voodoo doll of you and they are jabbing needles in it's back?"

Me:
"No."

Wife:
"How about now?"

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