My own response when asked how I'm doing: " Fair to partly cloudy", usually good for a laugh, and friends expect it now.
And when I ask and they say "Can't complain", I say: "You're about the only one!"
They say, "See ya later", I will say, "Don't threaten me!"

pig themed

happier than a pig in Sh**

to pig out to eat uncontrollably

lipstick on a pig to try and make an superficial change to sell something typically

this place is a pigsty

hog heaven

They's one in the woodpile.

Whats supposed to be aint always is

Cold as a Witch’s Teat:

Back in Salem during the 1600’s, Witch’s were portrayed as old hags with wrinkly skin and icy blood. So the phrase “…colder than a witch’s tit…” was used during very cold weather because of the reference to their cold blood and skin.

Not trying argue since I've never heard this saying before but historically a poke is another word for a pocket and plumb is square so I would have thought a "poke and plumb" town would mean a new town just laid out; so it would be a perfectly square pocket town. Maybe idk

Geographically, words have different meanings. As a kid, a poke meant a bag.

Ain’t my chickens

How are you? If I was any better i would have to take something for it.

My wife's favorite saying for my passion to participate in all things outdoors. "Come He!! or High Water"

"Bite off more than you can chew" - Trying to do something that's more than you can do on your own.

"Grinning like a mule eating green tomatoes"

"Grinning like a mule eat saw briars"

"Slicker then deer guts on a door knob"

"Can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear"

"If it ain't broke don't fix it"

"Day late and a dollar short"

"ugly as a mud fence"

"She has a face that would stop a nine day clock" - Pop used to say this one and cracked me up every time

As worthless as teats on a boar.

Windier na sack full of …holes. -Many on this site

Those are some good ones!
I feel a lot more like I do now than I did when I first got here.

Zim

If you have a jelly roll in your back pocket you have Butt (a$$) in jam!

Bryce

She cannot be two faced or she wouldn't be wearing that one

Hair of the Dog that Bit You:
An alcoholic drink consumed to remedy a hangover. The phrase comes from the notion that literally rubbing the hair of the dog that bit you on the wound would help it to heal and prevent rabies.

Built like a brick shat house
Stocky,very strong

Can’t get blood from a turnip:

The phrase, “you can’t get blood from a turnip,” is one of the more colorful idioms in the English language. The meaning of the saying is that it’s impossible to produce a desired item or outcome from an object or situation that could not, in any case, provide it. In other words, this phrase is used to show that where potential doesn’t exist, none can be realized.