The commentaries on Tman very often have science as their theme. Makes sense, since our culture is taught that science is the backbone of our existence, moving us ever "forward" (open to interpretation whether you are a scientist, humanist, secularist, Marxist, or any host of other "ists") down the evolutionary road towards some distant but desired place. And in that science is the specialty called psychology, the scientific study of the human mind and how it functions and how those functioning brains affect human behavior
in a given context. This last part of the definition of the study of psychology is what I was referring to in my earlier post.
The context that is "given" now-a-days is that gender is fluid. It's being talked about more. It's being considered more. It's being taught MUCH MORE in certain areas. And so, there is a portion of that that's known as IDENTITY. Who we think we are. Who we relate to. Who we align with. Who we see ourselves as. And all of this steers our behaviors according to the psychologists who study such things.
The OP is young at 20-21 and so perhaps is seeking their IDENTITY. We all have one. And we got it somehow.
KYBeaverSnapper, a trapping forum is no place to search for an IDENTITY that will steer your behaviors and your life's decisions in the future..... if in fact, as you say, your "coming out" is genuine.
I'm Adlerian in my psychology thinking and in my psychology training. Alfred Adler, who was a colleague of Sigmund Freud until the two parted ways over thesis, believed that the decisions we make in life steer our behaviors and ultimately we end up a result of the decisions we make. I agree. Sigmund's thesis was that we're baked by age 6. What we learn to that point will be our guide. Adler said no, we make our choices beyond what is baked in us until age 6. Fascinated psychology from the TWO fathers of Psychology science from the 1800, and early 1900's. For those who like science as I do.
KBS, if you seek your identity, and it's common for people your age to be doing so (most of us were at that age also) where do you seek it? TMan is no place to find such an important component in your life. Perhaps the most important according to Freud (who called it the interaction between our inner "ID," "Ego" and "superego".... and Adler. Ever heard of "let's see your ID?"

. Freudian.
Do you seek identity from Family? Friends? School? Others? Where? You'll decide as we all do/did. The key to a healthy identity starts with where you look for it.
Welcome to Tman!
Blessings,
Mark