Kudos to those who work hard ......so many lazy worthless pos 's in this country , it's unbelievable.

There is no guarantee you will be here tomorrow

You will 100% regret not spending more time with your family.....100% guaranteed......100%

just sayin'....

I think you meant "psychologist", not "physiologist"...

(maybe you need some rest)

I work 280 -320 hours a month. We don’t know anything different. Good life

Not sure how old you are, but I’m sure we’ve all worked our butts off, you just like posting it for some reason. I will say this, the most I think I’ve worked ever was maybe 80hrs and that was a Sunday - Saturday and was in double time by Thursday.
Something happened about the time my boys got old enough to notice daddy wasn’t around and they were about to start school. My mentors daughter died of cancer…she was 28. This broke this man. All he could tell me was he was always the first one at work and the last to leave and he would give it all back to not miss his daughter growing up. He put work and money above his life. And by his life, I mean his family.
I decided right then that my family was more important than any amount of money. Time is something that we can never get back and money can’t buy.
I’m pretty sure I’ve read post of yours where your kids are trapping and catching critters and you’re at work. I’ve been there for every first kill, caught, or tapped animal with all my kids. I’ve never missed a game or school function. I’ve definitely never missed a Holiday or birthday.
I’m now 4-6 years from retirement. I have a decent pension coming, a decent 401K, and a decent amount of cash saved up as well. I have “plans” after retirement to make money, but it will be on my terms.
I’ll also throw this out there, my wife and I are more in love now than when we got married. Don’t think it would be that way if I was never home.
Again, time is something you’ll NEVER get back.

I can see where you would think this.

I post what I do because it's what I do and what's on my mind. Hmm have not been home in 8 days spent 12 or 16 hrs of those days at work. Similar the last few weeks. Really don't have much else to talk about.

I'm not financially well off. Made to many mistakes to be well off. At best I'm getting to close to comfortable for me getting close but not there yet.I can finally see there is the potential to be comfortable in retirement and I may even actually be able to realistically be able to retire at 57 when I get my 30 in. Never thought it would be possible. May not be still but the potential is there. Kind of exciting for me. But like stated above nothing goes as planed. Yet it is possible.

But honestly I do nothing but work at work or at home. I no longer have any Hobbies other than doing things with the kids and wife. Can't deer hunt and enjoy it if in by myself. 15 minutes and I'm only thinking about what else I could be doing and getting done. But I can be out all day and enjoy it when I'm out with the kids because I'm spending time with the kids. I don't shoot unless it's with the kids. Pretty well the two things that used to be what I lived for hunting and shooting are not important. Still fun but not something I can enjoy unless it's with the kids.

Dad asked me what I do for fun a while back. I was stuned and had to think a bit. I just pointed over my shoulder and said well I got 1/3 of that field mowed today I guess that was fun?

And that's the point of this post. Something will always come up, the goal post is a moving target, and I need to reevaluate and make adjustments. Like focusing on more time at home and exercising. But I'm having trouble getting there and flipping that switch. The Hiting these goals when and if I do was so that I could be able to to those things possibly even taking a lowering paying job close to home ect. But now I'm worried and/or not sure I can or how to make the switch. Having been so sigle minded and focused I have kind of lost track of who I am outside of work and " getting ahead" and....

Saw a church friends latest u tube post last night. Have not seen him In months . He always was one that I kind of thought was a slacker a bit older than me bounced from job to job had 4 or 5 in the few years I have known him. Didn't want to work any overtime even though his family was tight on money. Always seemed to have an I'm better air about him. Always was correct in pointing out to me what I'm missing out on.. And I alway told myself when I get to × I will have more time to do all that.

He has a rare stage 4 cancer now. Now I'm conflicted. Yes he got to spend more time with his wife and kids, yet they are truly financially screwed now and especially when he passes. So I justify to myself my time away means if I drop dead tonight my family will be in a better but not great, yet improving position. Still can't decide who is correct. A few thing is for sure his wife and kids are great and thankfully my choices and blessings have allowed me to be in the position to help out with somethings. And it really has me rethinking and questioning what to do and have been doing. Typing it out helps and I highly value and respect opinions and views of the people on this board. Their comments and thoughts bring clarity and ideas I appreciate.

Hopefully that helps out a little.

Yep , 100%

I guess Its like this in My world,

When I croak I don't really mind if My wife has a boytoy living in her house, Buuuuutttttttttt I will be darned if I will buy the little twerp a Harley too.

I retired at the earliest possible time, It was well planned.... but she wont be able to buy him a New Harley. LOL Maybe an old oil leaking basket case or a Honda but not a New Harley.

ProvidenceFarm, if you haven't done so you need to sit down with a certified financial advisor/planner and look at your plans if you haven't already. The glide path you are on of working 80 and 90 hours a week and being gone from home for days and days is not sustainable, either you are going to crash mentally, literally crash because you are so exhausted that you do something wrong and get injured of injure someone else, your body is going to give out on you, or you will wake up one day and find that you don't know your family. If you are working those kind of hours and not stacking cash up like cordwood you either have a very bad job or you need to reevaluate your strategy. I obviously don't know you but from some of your posts I have read you really enjoy your children but they are growing up without a father because you are always gone or working on other projects. Please pause and take a look at your situation and seek advice from a qualified, uninvolved third party.

It is to easy to get focused on the future that we throw away the present and then when we reach the future we realize that we missed the really important stuff because we focused to much on tomorrow that we didn't live today. This is not my original thought, I heard it somewhere but I can't remember who said it or I would give them credit for it.

Pedal down while you can. Buy land. Stack cash. Invest. Obviously, family comes first but you are working for your family.

Nothing wrong with working hard.

Don’t know what you do but maybe your company should hire more people.

"Nothing wrong with working hard" and I agree with that 100%. But it has to be tempered when it comes time to with being with your family. Your cheating your kids and yourself when it comes to being their father. They need to have Dad active in their lives, don't let chasing the dollar lead you to being a part time dad. I missed alot of my kids growing up because of working on the road. I hate that to this day, it's time I will never get back and memories that didn't get made with the kids.

Truth

The only thing that you will run out of is TIME. Use it wisely. I'm still working some at age 77, but my best memories are not of how much I have or how many hours I have worked.

Do you think his kids would say "I wish Dad left me more money" or "I wish I'd got to spend more time with Dad"?

What's infuriating is you seem to KNOW how bad you're screwing up by missing your kids entire childhood, but then in the same post seem to BRAG about it. Like you're somehow doing a GOOD thing.

IMO all you're being is selfish. You talk about being able to retire at 59. Well woohoo and good for you but will you be happy at 59 when one of your sons lives in NY, one in CA, your daughter in FL, your wife remarried to someone else that managed to squeeze in time for her.... and you living all by yourself in your mansion in Indiana?

But at least you won't have to go to work anymore.

i'll add one more thing, I "retired" at 58 from one job, still working at 71 but at a lesser pace ,at my discretion, but my body is shot, it happens, it happens faster when you've worked hard outside your whole life.
I cannot do a lot of things that I used to do. So I got more time, nice, but I miss doing what I loved, my wife has numerous auto immune issues and is disabled, (one of the reasons I worked like I did)
So we don't really do much other than shopping trips, kids are in Texas, no grandchildren, and pretty much other family is all dead.

I'm not complaining, it is what it is, point I'm trying to make is what will your life be like when you reach your goals, will it be enough?, will there be anyone around to enjoy it with you? will you be physically able to enjoy it?

I think a lot of us are in a similar position, and probably have more or less regrets. I hope you find a balance so you can enjoy your time on earth...Nobody gets out of here alive.


Ok, I'm going crabbing, a buck is a buck,

guess you never heard of "life insurance" then?

I would recommend you consider a book named "Boundaries" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.
It will help with your decisions with work (and relationships).
It will guide you on when to say yes and when to say no.
It has helped guide me in the past.

You should see a psychologist and he will explain Type A. You are what you are.

I recommend reading the book "Pulling your own strings" by Wayne Dyer.

That book will teach you how to not be manipulated by others, or yourself by getting in your own way.

Life changing book, that will help you prioritize.

Working hard isn't the same as working all the time. Here's some food for thought for you. The guy across the road from me is a really good fella. He's also a workaholic. He owns (that I know of), 3 houses, around 100 acres, and makes several hundred thousand dollars a year as a Vice President of Engineeringat a local company. The house he lives in is 5000 Sq ft. It's that big because he had 5 kids and a wife when it was built. HAD being the operative word. They got a divorce after 20 something years of marriage. He was never home. Never went on vacation with them. Rarely went to their after school activities. When he took vacation, he was bailing hay, bush hogging, working cows, pretty much anything but fooling with kids. Like I said, he's a good fella and neighbor, but he's also all by himself now.

Don't loose sight of one dream chasing another one.