My college roommate/best friend hung himself a week before senior year started. I still think about this and ask why?

Every day I anticipate the dreaded call about a love one. Impossible to describe what all goes through their mind and the tormented (This word is unacceptable on Trapperman) they live through when it’s mental illness. Too often the reality they live is broken perception. They can’t process information as we define as normal. Nearly 30 years of attending doc appts, therapist, psychiatrist, and s on. Mental illnesses is the most over looked and least treated thing in this country. Only a hand full of meds help or work. In so many cases, the cocktail of meds is o joke of a guess and don’t work.
I’m a relatively religious individual and it makes me sick when I read the tie in to religion and as if it’s their “fault” and they are going to (This word is unacceptable on Trapperman). I don’t accept that at all. Just like when a cancer patient stops treatment. They are no longer prolonging life and the suffering by passing sooner. Does that mean they’re going to rot in (This word is unacceptable on Trapperman) too??

As for the OP, won’t know why. So many factors and speculations. All I can suggest is for those that are here with us still, have that person in your life that will listen. They may not understand everything you are enduring, but they will try and will always be there when you ask

I've always said there's no person in this world worth taking your own life because they no longer want to be with you there's to many fish in the ocean matter of fact talked to my grandson last night and asked how things were going with the girlfriend.he said they weren't together anymore things didn't work out and my reply there's alot more fish out there he laughed and agreed.

Yep. One of the main things that stopped me from getting help for as long as I did was the way people acted.

Remember having conversations with family when I tried to talk a bout my problems and just got stuff along the lines of
" Well you just gonna be hurting yourself and no one else so why are you telling me ?"
" Well just man up already and just get over it"
"I've never been so in happy I thought of killing myself so what's your problem?"
" You look happy so you can't be that depressed stop complaining "

Aling with being told to just drink like a man , go to church, pray ect..

Like clap clap it's wonderful you never have felt like this but your comments of just be happy and get over it aren't doing anything to actually help.

Made me completely shut off from trying to get help.

Honestly was just easier to put on a face and act happy for others so they didn't ask and if have to go though all that.

Funny enough when I finally got actual help and they found out they where all at my parents and what not trying to talk asking why I never asked for help or tried talking to someone yadda yadda .

Have talked to a lot of people dealing with the same problems and most especially men dealt with the same stuff. Even worse for veterans/LEO male and female. O you supposed to be trained and thought and all that . I talk to vets from Korea,nam and the GWOT who just plain refuse talk to family because that's what they get .

Lotta people don't really care or take things seriously till someones hanging from rope or their brains are splattered on their bed room wall. And call that insensitive or whatever but it's just plain true.

Anyhow.

If you're implying that everybody who commits suicide goes to the hot spot then that's just plum silly.

Mental illness is very complex and there's many different kinds. Nobody really understands it.

I don't think it's mental illness. I know a lot of people who are truly mentally ill and not one of them want to kill themselves or anyone else for that matter. It's an individual thing. Like wolf dog said, if you're depressed and contemplating something stupid and suicide is stupid, get some help. I've seen some of my veteran friends get close to suicide and got help. They learned to deal with the horrors of war and we're glad they got the help. I'm sorry, I'm just rambling!

Mental illness is not being weak minded.

Warrior nailed it...They can't see a way out.

mental illness like depression or incurable debilitating disease

I’m not one to post often From personal experience real mental illness is a tough road to walk. Watch Chris Stapleton’s Fire Away sometime. It can break your heart. Like when your wife of thirty years asks” do you hear those voices” and the house is completely quiet. I think sometimes the pain becomes too great and they just want it to stop. It’s not going to be rational because they aren’t rational. Get all the help you can for you and yourself. God Bless all going through this

Look up side effects of meds they prescribe and you’ll find your answer…

Well if your ever find out , I would like to know, had some young friends knew them when they were born and watched them grow up, raising a family, had the cutest kids, Mom gets up one morning two years ago to get them breakfast the oldest boy 8 years old, does not come down, she goes up and finds he hung himself over the bed during the night, dead is as dead gets, see's a note say's he loves you all but can't take the bullying at school any more, good bye

Makes me cry just typing it out, how can one understand that ?? I'm no newbie to family passing having two of my own taken after an auto accident, but we had time with them and knew what was coming, they could not do it so the Lord took them back, but 8 years old and knowing how to hang your self, Geeez !!!

Huge lack of self control in today's society, see it 3veryday. Obese fat slobs everywhere, etc.

Thanks for all the responses. They truly made me think and reflect. First I guess typically I'm one to have a negative response like Wolfdog91 experienced. Mostly because I don't know how to relate to things I have never experienced. There are a few of them. Addict and depression are right there with suicide for me. I never have experienced any of them and don't understand or know how to relate to those having issues. often with addiction destroying their life's and families.

So now with all this added perspective I have come to a few conclusions. #1 I guess some things I honestly never want to be able to understand because that will mean I have experienced the struggle and I never want to.

#2 Do my best to have empathy and try to learn what to do to help those that are struggling. Just because I don't understand it doesn't mean it's not very real to those struggling and can end with horrible results. So the big question now is not trying to understand what I'm never hopefully going to never be able to understand but how in the world can you recognize and try to help those that ask struggling with something you don't even understand? other than trying to get them professional help. but that may be wores when all the mess they pass out say they increas risk of self eliminating.


Maybe it's just my cave man mind set but if things ever get that bad I would grab some cash and take off and start over with what's on my back and never think of self harm. Depression and laying around in bed for days is also mind blowing to me. Dad has had issues like that as well as one of my wife's friends husband. Add addiction destroying people's lives and families and letting something become more important than your family and get a hold on you like that is beyond my ability to comprehend.


But these 3 things are likely some of biggest problems in our country and don't seem to have any really effective solutions. So many people and families suffering. Boy I must be getting soft in my middle age. I mean heck I had some major issues with anger, being jumpy, among other things when my son was killed. Was told it was classic ptad but I never went to get labeled Mostly because of the push at the time foe mental health and gun control. 2nd I wouldn't take the meds they would try to give so I worked things out on my own. But even then I very well may have killed the guy that killed my some I never once thought about hurting myself.

And why inalways had a crass well addiction and od is a self solving problem, same with the rest . But getting older I can see There is more to things than what I can see and understand. I mean that's a given there is plenty of science and math that is beyond me yet I see the benefits. But looking at things I don't understand like this I see the toll it takes and now see how my poor my mind set was word the topics. It will take a lot of work to correct and will be difficult considering not being able to understand.

Maybe just knowing and admit the problems are real and effect so many and being mindful that I don't understand is a good start or maybe even enough.

It's sad to see so many and so much lost and wasted. Now that 8 year old story was just to much.

One of my best friends suck started and 870 12ga. 28 years ago.
No one knows why, he left no note or gave any hints prior that he needed or wanted help. He had life going his way and under control.

Also had an aunt and 2 cousins that have committed suicide
Aunt and son was related to an opioid addiction.
My other cousin had been battling depression, she left a note in the bottom of the deep freezer. Obviously wasn't found until the meat and fish in the freezer had been ate down.

I have known a few others that were friends,but not real close.

I don't understand it for sure

the sun will come out tomorrow

I don't know the answer.

But.., I don't feel remorse for anyone chosing to do it.
I just hope they do it in a way it's not a mess for someone to find.
Some people have Demons in their brains.
Some may have health issues they are sick of dealing with.
Some can't afford the unfricken amount of $$ it takes to get " help".
Some just can't afford to " live".

Below is a link to the countries with the higest suicde rates. Note that in almost every country the rate for men is twice as much as for women if not more. Women are linked more to what is classified as depression then are men but there sure must be other factors involved as well.
Our daughter is a professor of Clinical phyc. and is currently working with several grad students in here department, other US departments and several departments around the world to research the genetic links to or for depression. There have been several studies on depression, choromosomes, anxiety, trauma etc. etc. There is evidence of genetic linkage but it is extremely diffucult to be able to isolate as there are so many, many genes.

Bryce

https://www.statista.com/chart/15390/global-suicide-rates/#:~:text=South%20Korea%20and%20Lithuania%20had,and%2010.2%20cases%20per%20100%2C000.

Yup, women make men depressed.....and then....