Hospice care and the crystal ball
#8249817
10/31/24 09:28 AM
10/31/24 09:28 AM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Lebanon, WI
Randy Wieland
OP
trapper
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OP
trapper
Joined: Dec 2006
Lebanon, WI
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Quite the reality check this week and taking a moment to refocus on life. Getting sucked into the political sewer is so easy and the endless accusations of both truths and lies leaves us wondering what to really believe.
Well, I believe this. I'm almost 5 years of giving up my "normal" life to assist my father. The year prior, I did six months of care for my mother until her passing. I've blown my savings, exhausted the patience of my wife, passed 5 prime years of the best dog I could ever imagine having....and that list is about endless. Though I know that millions of people would kill for the opportunity I have to be by my mother and father's side until their passing. To have all those conversations - as I recommend to so many people - Leave nothing unsaid. I've been blessed to have it all with my parents.
This week is the "big change" his blood pressure is averaging 72/46. For those that don't know, when you have low pressure, your pulse rate will usually increase. When both remain low AND the patient is hot and sweaty, its a really bad sign that the final stage is here. With it comes dizziness, loss of coordination, paranoia, huge sense of a loss of control, irregular breathing and more. As a care giver the stress increases because of their loss of control, false accusations are made, and doubt in what your doing.
The nurse and social worker that comes each week had the talk with me. No surprises and I fully understand his death is coming. They have no crystal ball and can only compare his symptoms to others that endured the same fate. Likelihood is now within weeks, could be days, or could be a couple more months - only God knows. But the reality is setting in that these moments are VERY limited and its my last chance to do the best I can for him. Every ounce of patience is being tested. I'm finding strengths I didn't know I had. Even going to his death, my father continues to teach me more.
I share this only because I know I'm not alone. There are others out there caring for a love one that is reaching deep to do what they can. Its not easy, but so rewarding. To all the others going through this journey, know that the unsaid gratitude is beyond the frustrations, heartache, and issues. Each moment is an opportunity for another memory. In the times of frustration and mental exhaustion, isolate that moment and and put it in perspective. They lose control of rational thinking and behavior and deep down find solace in your care and love. Best wishes to all that are going through this.
For others caught up in life's struggles, please know you're not alone.
The only thing worse than losing........Is QUITTING! Lifetime Member WTA
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Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball
[Re: Randy Wieland]
#8249862
10/31/24 10:14 AM
10/31/24 10:14 AM
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Joined: Sep 2013
Green County Wisconsin
GREENCOUNTYPETE
trapper
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trapper
Joined: Sep 2013
Green County Wisconsin
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I hear you , my family and my aunt were very lucky hospice was only a couple weeks and she was happy and alert most days till the last few.
may you both find peace in his passing , when ever it happens
you are a great son for doing this for your parents.
America only has one issue, we have a Responsibility crisis and everything else stems from it.
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Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball
[Re: Randy Wieland]
#8249931
10/31/24 11:41 AM
10/31/24 11:41 AM
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Joined: Mar 2011
Vernal, Utah, USA
Dan Barnhurst
trapper
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trapper
Joined: Mar 2011
Vernal, Utah, USA
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Thanks for sharing your experience. Sometimes in the hardest moments we actually learn and grow the most.
May God bless and comfort you and your dad during the remainder of your earthly time together, and beyond.
United we stand.
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Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball
[Re: Randy Wieland]
#8249943
10/31/24 12:02 PM
10/31/24 12:02 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
MN, Land of 10,000 Lakes
Trapper7
trapper
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trapper
Joined: Dec 2006
MN, Land of 10,000 Lakes
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Quite the reality check this week and taking a moment to refocus on life. Getting sucked into the political sewer is so easy and the endless accusations of both truths and lies leaves us wondering what to really believe.
Well, I believe this. I'm almost 5 years of giving up my "normal" life to assist my father. The year prior, I did six months of care for my mother until her passing. I've blown my savings, exhausted the patience of my wife, passed 5 prime years of the best dog I could ever imagine having....and that list is about endless. Though I know that millions of people would kill for the opportunity I have to be by my mother and father's side until their passing. To have all those conversations - as I recommend to so many people - Leave nothing unsaid. I've been blessed to have it all with my parents.
This week is the "big change" his blood pressure is averaging 72/46. For those that don't know, when you have low pressure, your pulse rate will usually increase. When both remain low AND the patient is hot and sweaty, its a really bad sign that the final stage is here. With it comes dizziness, loss of coordination, paranoia, huge sense of a loss of control, irregular breathing and more. As a care giver the stress increases because of their loss of control, false accusations are made, and doubt in what your doing.
The nurse and social worker that comes each week had the talk with me. No surprises and I fully understand his death is coming. They have no crystal ball and can only compare his symptoms to others that endured the same fate. Likelihood is now within weeks, could be days, or could be a couple more months - only God knows. But the reality is setting in that these moments are VERY limited and its my last chance to do the best I can for him. Every ounce of patience is being tested. I'm finding strengths I didn't know I had. Even going to his death, my father continues to teach me more.
I share this only because I know I'm not alone. There are others out there caring for a love one that is reaching deep to do what they can. Its not easy, but so rewarding. To all the others going through this journey, know that the unsaid gratitude is beyond the frustrations, heartache, and issues. Each moment is an opportunity for another memory. In the times of frustration and mental exhaustion, isolate that moment and and put it in perspective. They lose control of rational thinking and behavior and deep down find solace in your care and love. Best wishes to all that are going through this.
For others caught up in life's struggles, please know you're not alone. Went through something similar with my parents. My mother passed away first. The last year or so of her life when I would visit her, she didn't believe I was her son. She told me I had died a long time ago. My dad was 96 when he died, but he had quite a few of the symptoms you described. His last few years we reminisced about some of our hunting and trapping adventures we had over the years. That always perked him up even his last days on earth. I still miss those days. You are a good son. Prayers for you.
Immigrants who bypassed legal process in migrating to the US demand legal process before being kicked out.
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Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball
[Re: Randy Wieland]
#8250021
10/31/24 01:44 PM
10/31/24 01:44 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Oakland, MS
Drifter
trapper
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trapper
Joined: Dec 2006
Oakland, MS
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Thanks for the share. It helps in keeping the mind where i needs to be.Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.
Some individuals use statistics as a drunk man uses lamp-posts — for support rather than for illumination.
Andrew Lang (1844-1912) Scottish poet, novelist and literary critic
Life member NTA , and GA Trappers assoc .
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Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball
[Re: wetdog]
#8250064
10/31/24 03:18 PM
10/31/24 03:18 PM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Lebanon, WI
Randy Wieland
OP
trapper
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OP
trapper
Joined: Dec 2006
Lebanon, WI
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I have been caring for my mother since his passing, I have also lost many of the things I thought were important to me. I realized family is the most important thing in my life
Regrets will consume you. I would view it as the difficult relationship you had with your father prepared you for your dedication to care for your mother. Thanks all for the well wishes. Its appreciated. More than anything, I understand the struggles and if anyone out there needs an ear, shoot me a PM. we are all in this life together
The only thing worse than losing........Is QUITTING! Lifetime Member WTA
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Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball
[Re: Gary Benson]
#8250503
11/01/24 05:26 AM
11/01/24 05:26 AM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Lebanon, WI
Randy Wieland
OP
trapper
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OP
trapper
Joined: Dec 2006
Lebanon, WI
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Been thru it twice. Hospice is morphine overdose to end the suffering. Some days I wish it was that simple here. Dad's doctors follow the business practice of extending life at any expense. Until he is bedridden, his primary doctor is still the primary and Hospice follows his direction. I have mixed feelings about it. Dad has been in the house for 5 years, barely gets to the bathroom with his walker, sleeps in a chair because he can not lift himself out of a bed. falls about every other day, skin rips open any time he bumps anything, and that goes on and on. 4 years he has been asking for Dr. Kavorkian (sp?) or for us to take him out in the back field and finish him. Daily he begs to go to sleep and not get up. For me its tough to see him awake or breathing as he sleeps each morning because I know its another day of misery for him. Brutal to witness a man lose his independence and self control.
The only thing worse than losing........Is QUITTING! Lifetime Member WTA
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Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball
[Re: Randy Wieland]
#8250511
11/01/24 05:47 AM
11/01/24 05:47 AM
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Joined: Dec 2006
PA Venango Co.
Ron Marsh
trapper
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trapper
Joined: Dec 2006
PA Venango Co.
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My wife is now going thru those same struggles. Oldest brother passed this year. older sister failing fast. Just place her #2 brother in a nursing home, 3 rd time, to recover from a fall.
PTA Lifetime #131N. Salvation Army CSM Stakes: Why leave them? ALWAYS John 3:16 814-516-2923
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