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Hospice care and the crystal ball #8249817
10/31/24 09:28 AM
10/31/24 09:28 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Lebanon, WI
Randy Wieland Offline OP
trapper
Randy Wieland  Offline OP
trapper

Joined: Dec 2006
Lebanon, WI
Quite the reality check this week and taking a moment to refocus on life. Getting sucked into the political sewer is so easy and the endless accusations of both truths and lies leaves us wondering what to really believe.

Well, I believe this. I'm almost 5 years of giving up my "normal" life to assist my father. The year prior, I did six months of care for my mother until her passing. I've blown my savings, exhausted the patience of my wife, passed 5 prime years of the best dog I could ever imagine having....and that list is about endless. Though I know that millions of people would kill for the opportunity I have to be by my mother and father's side until their passing. To have all those conversations - as I recommend to so many people - Leave nothing unsaid. I've been blessed to have it all with my parents.

This week is the "big change" his blood pressure is averaging 72/46. For those that don't know, when you have low pressure, your pulse rate will usually increase. When both remain low AND the patient is hot and sweaty, its a really bad sign that the final stage is here. With it comes dizziness, loss of coordination, paranoia, huge sense of a loss of control, irregular breathing and more. As a care giver the stress increases because of their loss of control, false accusations are made, and doubt in what your doing.

The nurse and social worker that comes each week had the talk with me. No surprises and I fully understand his death is coming. They have no crystal ball and can only compare his symptoms to others that endured the same fate. Likelihood is now within weeks, could be days, or could be a couple more months - only God knows. But the reality is setting in that these moments are VERY limited and its my last chance to do the best I can for him. Every ounce of patience is being tested. I'm finding strengths I didn't know I had. Even going to his death, my father continues to teach me more.

I share this only because I know I'm not alone. There are others out there caring for a love one that is reaching deep to do what they can. Its not easy, but so rewarding. To all the others going through this journey, know that the unsaid gratitude is beyond the frustrations, heartache, and issues. Each moment is an opportunity for another memory. In the times of frustration and mental exhaustion, isolate that moment and and put it in perspective. They lose control of rational thinking and behavior and deep down find solace in your care and love. Best wishes to all that are going through this.

For others caught up in life's struggles, please know you're not alone.


The only thing worse than losing........Is QUITTING!
Lifetime Member WTA
Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball [Re: Randy Wieland] #8249827
10/31/24 09:36 AM
10/31/24 09:36 AM
Joined: Feb 2014
Ky
J
jbyrd63 Offline
trapper
jbyrd63  Offline
trapper
J

Joined: Feb 2014
Ky
Praying for you!! I still have both my parents but those days are coming for us all. No matter how big of a sacrifice you give to your parents remember you wouldn’t be here if not for them !!!!

Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball [Re: Randy Wieland] #8249846
10/31/24 09:52 AM
10/31/24 09:52 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Minnesota
330-Trapper Offline

trapper
330-Trapper  Offline

trapper

Joined: Dec 2006
Minnesota
I Lost my Mom last year...Sincere Prayers


NRA and NTA Life Member
www.BackroadsRevised@etsy.com




Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball [Re: Randy Wieland] #8249847
10/31/24 09:52 AM
10/31/24 09:52 AM
Joined: Jan 2007
Wisconsin
M
Moosetrot Offline
trapper
Moosetrot  Offline
trapper
M

Joined: Jan 2007
Wisconsin
Thoughts and strength to you, Randy.

Moosetrot

Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball [Re: Randy Wieland] #8249857
10/31/24 10:04 AM
10/31/24 10:04 AM
Joined: Nov 2007
OBX N.C.
Leary Sink Offline
trapper
Leary Sink  Offline
trapper

Joined: Nov 2007
OBX N.C.
Randy, Thank you for being the man and the son that you are for your parents. Sending prayers

Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball [Re: Randy Wieland] #8249862
10/31/24 10:14 AM
10/31/24 10:14 AM
Joined: Sep 2013
Green County Wisconsin
G
GREENCOUNTYPETE Offline
trapper
GREENCOUNTYPETE  Offline
trapper
G

Joined: Sep 2013
Green County Wisconsin
I hear you , my family and my aunt were very lucky hospice was only a couple weeks and she was happy and alert most days till the last few.

may you both find peace in his passing , when ever it happens

you are a great son for doing this for your parents.


America only has one issue, we have a Responsibility crisis and everything else stems from it.
Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball [Re: Randy Wieland] #8249868
10/31/24 10:22 AM
10/31/24 10:22 AM
Joined: Dec 2007
Missouri
ol' dad Offline
trapper
ol' dad  Offline
trapper

Joined: Dec 2007
Missouri
Thanks for your post. I'm glad I opened it. I have been caught up in the day to day nonsense lately and this helps put things back into perspective. You are a good man. There is nothing more important in this life than family.

I praying for a peaceful transition for your father.

ol' dad

Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball [Re: Randy Wieland] #8249869
10/31/24 10:22 AM
10/31/24 10:22 AM
Joined: Apr 2012
new york
M
mike mason Offline
trapper
mike mason  Offline
trapper
M

Joined: Apr 2012
new york
You are great son, not many people would do what you have done. I'm sure it gives your parents contentment knowing you are there for them. My wife spent 6 months in another state when her dad was in Hospice. Day and night with him but it was the right thing to do. May God continue to look over you and your family.

Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball [Re: Randy Wieland] #8249931
10/31/24 11:41 AM
10/31/24 11:41 AM
Joined: Mar 2011
Vernal, Utah, USA
Dan Barnhurst Offline
trapper
Dan Barnhurst  Offline
trapper

Joined: Mar 2011
Vernal, Utah, USA
Thanks for sharing your experience. Sometimes in the hardest moments we actually learn and grow the most.

May God bless and comfort you and your dad during the remainder of your earthly time together, and beyond.


United we stand.
Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball [Re: Randy Wieland] #8249943
10/31/24 12:02 PM
10/31/24 12:02 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
MN, Land of 10,000 Lakes
T
Trapper7 Offline
trapper
Trapper7  Offline
trapper
T

Joined: Dec 2006
MN, Land of 10,000 Lakes
Originally Posted by Randy Wieland
Quite the reality check this week and taking a moment to refocus on life. Getting sucked into the political sewer is so easy and the endless accusations of both truths and lies leaves us wondering what to really believe.

Well, I believe this. I'm almost 5 years of giving up my "normal" life to assist my father. The year prior, I did six months of care for my mother until her passing. I've blown my savings, exhausted the patience of my wife, passed 5 prime years of the best dog I could ever imagine having....and that list is about endless. Though I know that millions of people would kill for the opportunity I have to be by my mother and father's side until their passing. To have all those conversations - as I recommend to so many people - Leave nothing unsaid. I've been blessed to have it all with my parents.

This week is the "big change" his blood pressure is averaging 72/46. For those that don't know, when you have low pressure, your pulse rate will usually increase. When both remain low AND the patient is hot and sweaty, its a really bad sign that the final stage is here. With it comes dizziness, loss of coordination, paranoia, huge sense of a loss of control, irregular breathing and more. As a care giver the stress increases because of their loss of control, false accusations are made, and doubt in what your doing.

The nurse and social worker that comes each week had the talk with me. No surprises and I fully understand his death is coming. They have no crystal ball and can only compare his symptoms to others that endured the same fate. Likelihood is now within weeks, could be days, or could be a couple more months - only God knows. But the reality is setting in that these moments are VERY limited and its my last chance to do the best I can for him. Every ounce of patience is being tested. I'm finding strengths I didn't know I had. Even going to his death, my father continues to teach me more.

I share this only because I know I'm not alone. There are others out there caring for a love one that is reaching deep to do what they can. Its not easy, but so rewarding. To all the others going through this journey, know that the unsaid gratitude is beyond the frustrations, heartache, and issues. Each moment is an opportunity for another memory. In the times of frustration and mental exhaustion, isolate that moment and and put it in perspective. They lose control of rational thinking and behavior and deep down find solace in your care and love. Best wishes to all that are going through this.

For others caught up in life's struggles, please know you're not alone.

Went through something similar with my parents. My mother passed away first. The last year or so of her life when I would visit her, she didn't believe I was her son. She told me I had died a long time ago.
My dad was 96 when he died, but he had quite a few of the symptoms you described. His last few years we reminisced about some of our hunting and trapping adventures we had over the years. That always perked him up even his last days on earth. I still miss those days.
You are a good son. Prayers for you.


Immigrants who bypassed legal process in migrating to the US demand legal process before being kicked out.
Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball [Re: Randy Wieland] #8250021
10/31/24 01:44 PM
10/31/24 01:44 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Oakland, MS
Drifter Offline
trapper
Drifter  Offline
trapper

Joined: Dec 2006
Oakland, MS
Thanks for the share. It helps in keeping the mind where i needs to be.Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.


Some individuals use statistics as a drunk man uses lamp-posts — for support rather than for illumination.

Andrew Lang (1844-1912) Scottish poet, novelist and literary critic









Life member NTA , and GA Trappers assoc .
Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball [Re: Randy Wieland] #8250045
10/31/24 02:18 PM
10/31/24 02:18 PM
Joined: Oct 2017
perry co.Pa
wetdog Offline
trapper
wetdog  Offline
trapper

Joined: Oct 2017
perry co.Pa
I wish I would have been there more for my dad at the end
We bucked heads on everything all my life. I will regret it until my last breath.

I have been caring for my mother since his passing, I have also lost many of the things I thought were important to me.
I realized family is the most important thing in my life

Randy you are a GREAT son.

God bless you

Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball [Re: Randy Wieland] #8250062
10/31/24 03:11 PM
10/31/24 03:11 PM
Joined: Aug 2011
james bay frontierOnt.
B
Boco Offline
trapper
Boco  Offline
trapper
B

Joined: Aug 2011
james bay frontierOnt.
God Bless.


Forget that fear of gravity-get a little savagery in your life.
Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball [Re: wetdog] #8250064
10/31/24 03:18 PM
10/31/24 03:18 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Lebanon, WI
Randy Wieland Offline OP
trapper
Randy Wieland  Offline OP
trapper

Joined: Dec 2006
Lebanon, WI
Originally Posted by wetdog


I have been caring for my mother since his passing, I have also lost many of the things I thought were important to me.
I realized family is the most important thing in my life



Regrets will consume you. I would view it as the difficult relationship you had with your father prepared you for your dedication to care for your mother.

Thanks all for the well wishes. Its appreciated. More than anything, I understand the struggles and if anyone out there needs an ear, shoot me a PM. we are all in this life together


The only thing worse than losing........Is QUITTING!
Lifetime Member WTA
Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball [Re: Randy Wieland] #8250073
10/31/24 03:38 PM
10/31/24 03:38 PM
Joined: Jan 2009
Nebraska
T
Trapset Offline
trapper
Trapset  Offline
trapper
T

Joined: Jan 2009
Nebraska
Well done! Hang in there.

Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball [Re: Randy Wieland] #8250087
10/31/24 04:24 PM
10/31/24 04:24 PM
Joined: Oct 2019
IN
W
wiley one Offline
trapper
wiley one  Offline
trapper
W

Joined: Oct 2019
IN
Praying for you and your father.

Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball [Re: Randy Wieland] #8250113
10/31/24 05:42 PM
10/31/24 05:42 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Very SE Nebraska
G
Gary Benson Offline
trapper
Gary Benson  Offline
trapper
G

Joined: Dec 2006
Very SE Nebraska
Been thru it twice. Hospice is morphine overdose to end the suffering.


Life ain't supposed to be easy.
Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball [Re: Gary Benson] #8250503
11/01/24 05:26 AM
11/01/24 05:26 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Lebanon, WI
Randy Wieland Offline OP
trapper
Randy Wieland  Offline OP
trapper

Joined: Dec 2006
Lebanon, WI
Originally Posted by Gary Benson
Been thru it twice. Hospice is morphine overdose to end the suffering.


Some days I wish it was that simple here. Dad's doctors follow the business practice of extending life at any expense. Until he is bedridden, his primary doctor is still the primary and Hospice follows his direction. I have mixed feelings about it. Dad has been in the house for 5 years, barely gets to the bathroom with his walker, sleeps in a chair because he can not lift himself out of a bed. falls about every other day, skin rips open any time he bumps anything, and that goes on and on. 4 years he has been asking for Dr. Kavorkian (sp?) or for us to take him out in the back field and finish him. Daily he begs to go to sleep and not get up. For me its tough to see him awake or breathing as he sleeps each morning because I know its another day of misery for him. Brutal to witness a man lose his independence and self control.


The only thing worse than losing........Is QUITTING!
Lifetime Member WTA
Re: Hospice care and the crystal ball [Re: Randy Wieland] #8250511
11/01/24 05:47 AM
11/01/24 05:47 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
PA Venango Co.
R
Ron Marsh Offline
trapper
Ron Marsh  Offline
trapper
R

Joined: Dec 2006
PA Venango Co.
My wife is now going thru those same struggles. Oldest brother passed this year. older sister failing fast. Just place her #2 brother in a nursing home, 3 rd time, to recover from a fall.


PTA Lifetime #131N. Salvation Army CSM
Stakes: Why leave them?
ALWAYS John 3:16 814-516-2923
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