Say you found out you have around 8-18 months left to live maybe the doctors can get 24 or even 30 months but it is all buying time as they put it.

it's cancer , stage 4

no this is not me but it is someone close to me.

this person is 46 , has a spouse and 3 kids all in college.

what are You Doing if this was you ?

Sell everything I don't need, clean the place up, get all the small things fixed around the house. Be nice to see alaska one more time and eat a fresh salmon again.

Hard to say what someone else should do, but for me personally, I wouldn't be paying for any treatments, if death is a guarantee anytime soon. I wouldn't burden my wife with the medical debt. Others may feel that a few extra months are worth the cost.

Absolutely no idea tell I am in that spot it would all be theoretical as to what I would do.

They told mom only 22% of people in her spot would live 5 years and she Is working on year 6 now so...


I would guess it would depend on their health and any limitations they have as well as finances.

My main concern would be making sure the family would be OK.

Id Make one good Out of State hunt

their spouse carries the insurance and it will pay for it beyond the annual deductible with 5 people they hit that deductible nearly every year as it is. one ER visit a year puts you over the deductible these days.

so for now they are taking any treatments to extend the time with family.

My brother found out 2-3 yrs. Ago he had stage 4 he just turned 55 in dec. He has two children still in school and wants to see them grow up. They gave him a choice of attack and told him if it never got it there was nothing else they could do, he went for it. Less then a year later, he went back for a checkup and they found a spot they thought it was scar tissue but low and behold it was cancer back, thanks to our heavenly Father, they had in that year, found another method to fight this cancer, he had to drive 1000 mile round trip every two weeks and spend the night and do treatments, they were rough but he got through them, long story short he's a diesel mechanic and worked through most of it and about 3 months ago he went for check ups and by the power of prayer and the Mercy of God he's in remission, faith and prayers.

I guess it would depend on how coherent I would be. How much or how fast I loose physical strength. How finances look.

I have a friend going through this right now. With his fourth cancer diagnosis, he said "no more".

that is very encouraging , I sure hope the Doc can make some real progress , he seems like a real good guy and is willing to try some non conventional treatments. time will tell.

I personally have a plan if this would be my fate.
I would not tell a soul about it and continue my life as normal until I could feel my time was short
I would just leave without a word to anyone not even a note left behind just a set of numbers.
I would live my last days out in the wilds of a place I have longed to visit all my life
I love my family too much to have them go through my suffering with me

The last walk, as it was meant to be

Tough call...
I know what I would do, but a young guy probably has a different idea, and hope.

I guess it depends on how miserable the radiation and chemo makes you...how long do you want to drag that out?

The first thing I would do is make sure the doctor has a crystal ball And than I would ask about extensions Might it be 12 to 24months or 3 to 4 years instead Life is for the living The dead have out lasted the amount of time they could sustain that here on earth But in the event that the doctor gave me a certain number of months/years to live I would strive to live each day as if it was a day to live and to think I would sit and wait for death to take me from the living If death is a sure thing for everyone that is born into this earth than I want to make it find me even if I am 100 % certain this is my day I still want to make it look for me

say goodbye to friends and family. when it got bad take a big shot of whatever opioid i was on for pain relief

Wet dog, I have the same mind set.

What i would do depends on how bad it is maybe just live out my days not create med bills for my family.Make peace with God and tell all goodbye.

I know a few people going through cancer right now.
my wife's uncle just died from cancer in October , the other uncle who has had cancer twice has it back again.
co-workers with cancer , my dad's good friend just passed in Nov he thought it was backpain and by the time they figured it out he had a couple months left was all.

today , they get tired more easily but very little pain , almost unreal to believe that what felt like a gal stone a few weeks ago is actually bile duct and liver cancer.

We have no idea what it is going to look like in months the doc thought with no treatment 6-8 months

they had an annual physical in Nov and all the blood work showed fine good healthy numbers. Two months later the ER doc spotted a mass while looking for gal stones and ordered blood work , liver function was down.

I’d fight it with every ounce I have. And get my stuff in order just incase I loose.

Been in your position a couple times. The first time was a huge learning curve and a lot I wish I would have done sooner. First thing for you to understand is they are making a comparison of that individual to a group of people that had similar cases - age, symptoms, cancer type, spread,..... Based on that info, the forecast of remaining life is ONLY a guess based on those factors. Some will expire faster and some will live longer. Quality of life will vary a lot also. Some deal with treatment much better than others.

Have very open and candid conversations. Don't be vague and beat around the bush, be direct. Everyone deals with that kind of news in their own way and in their own time. But the more direct you are will help them come to reality of the situation sooner and understand you're not being a cold hearted (This word is unacceptable on Trapperman), but helping as a friend.

Prioritize what needs to be done and prepared for. End of life documents/Will, POA Medical, and POA Financial. Who is going to take care of what??? Ask the hard questions and document every account, line of credit, property deed, and so on. It doesn't need to be an overly complicated thing. I just used a spiral notebook and started the list. When bills came in or something came up in conversation I just kept adding to it. I can not emphasize enough how much this helped when the dreaded day cam that we had to go through the process and send all the death certificates out and change account names. Some estates are easy, some are much more complicated. The more its documented, the easier it is and relieves a lot of burden on the back end. Worst thing to happen is they live longer and they have all their EOL docs in place. BTW - The biggest thing over-looked is sending death certificates to the big three credit bureaus with a "Notice of death - do not approve credit" - that prevents a huge amount of identity theft.

A phrase I tell many younger people is "leave NOTHING un-said". Have those conversations, be the friend you are. If they want to talk, listen. If you think of something, ASK!!. Some of the biggest regrets you hear of is "I wish I would have asked this or they told me that.." Make that a mission to talk about everything. Leave nothing on the table. Coach the kids to do the same. I am so lucky with doing in home hospice for my father. I moved in full time and when then they thought he was maybe 60-90 days and here we are almost a year later and he's been eligible for hospice for the last 4-1/2 years. So I've had the opportunity that most never get - extended time to have those conversations.

Listen - don't assume. What does he want? Last fishing trip or hunting at a special place, to see his children accomplish something, simply the solitude of know his wife and kids have someone to help when he's gone. My dad hadn't traveled since he was in the airforce (SAC) back in the 60's. Though he traveled air base to base across the country, he never set foot in a National Park. Countless hours of watching National Geographic shows and all the scenery pics of my hunting all across the USA. Well, opportunity came up and my Brother in law and I surprised him with a road trip. Rocky mountain National park in October with the Elk in rut. We ventured out a couple more day trips and got him through the Black Hill, Big Horn, and more. That was 5 years ago and he still talks about it. Its awesome when he sees those places on TV and yells to me to come and look and simply says "we were there".

Final note, toughen up mentally. If its a long haul and they sense a loss of control, weird crap begins to happen - but its typical. When people are dying and control is nearly gone they aggressively can attack love ones and friends and try to control the few things that they can. Often that's money. Accusations can and will be made about stealing money, love ones being control freaks, and that list goes on and on. Its hard when you do everything day after day for their best interest then they accuse you of stealing from them. "Hard" can be and understatement. You just have to understand their state of mind. Kemo ate my mother's mind. Couple years before she passed her mind was nearly gone. The most common things became the most difficult to do - operating TV remote, dialing a phone, playing games/cards. For most that came around for a while, I could see how difficult it was for them to interact with my Mother. Its not easy.


The fact that you are reaching out and getting insight to what to do, what to expect speaks volumes. Be the friend you are and when the tough times come, always know you have memories that no one can ever take away. If you ever need to talk, reach out to me!

Me personally I've lived life right up to the hilt, always have, if it came tomorrow I'm satisfied with what I've accomplished. Given any prior warning I'd square away all the finances so the family knows how to access everything easily and just try to enjoy what's left. The thing about life is no one makes it out alive so enjoy what ya get

Yes it truly was a miracle from God, he was originally given very little time and there wasn't a lot of hope, I don't remember all the percentages they gave him but it wasn't very good odds. He had made his rounds to family and took a couple road trips by himself, never said where, he went and visited a place where our brother was killed by another driver it's off the beaten path, he prayed, and talked to our brother, he definitely was preparing for his next journey, it's only by God's mercy.