I was informed yesterday from my sister,,
That our sister in law has had enough and left my brother and is filling for divorce.
He’s already lost his first wife because of the drinking… and he’s been to prison twice because of it.
Over the years I’ve plead with him to get help,, and he always has the excuse that it’s too late.
I had a glimmer of hope last year, when he finally went to a place I suggested called “ celebrate recovery “.
It’s a faith based organization that helps people with alcohol and substance abuse issues. And it’s very very successful,,, and doesn’t cost anything.
I had talked with him a few weeks later to see how he was doing,,, and he said he stopped going,,, he didn’t need their help anymore.
Sometimes I guess you can’t reach people… as much as it hurts. I’ll never stop praying for him though… just makes me sad.

Prayers sent

Nothing will change until he commits to change an alcohol is smarter, sexier, braver, tougher, talented and they know what they are doing at all times just ask them.

Do the take away/hide test to see how committed they are to alcohol the transition to needy is quick, apparent and desperate.

Man, that is sad.

Lost my brother to alcohol. Tried to help him, even had a AA higher up friend of mine offer to pick him up for meetings. "There's nothing wrong with me" was his go to..Hated everyone and blamed them for all his misfortunes.

Finally died alone in his house, we don't know how long he laid there.Was 64....

You can't help people that don't want to change.

People don't decide to change until they hit what, to them, is rock bottom. Unfortunately, for some people, rock bottom is death.

Then some people die from withdrawals when they think they can quit all by themselves. Alcohol has worse withdrawals than most hard drugs and can absolutely be fatal. Somebody in that kind of shape probably needs a stay in the hospital for at least a week.

The missus has been sober several years now. It got pretty rough there at the end of her drinking.

Currently she's got a first cousin that just recently got stabilized and out of danger of dying but has pretty much fried what brain he had left from drinking. He'll be more or less institutionalized the rest of whatever life he has left.

BTW, it's not always something you see coming. Not all start out as a two fisted drinker or daily partaker. The missus was a social drinker at most for most of our marriage. Actually didn't like alcohol at all. But something along the way got to her, either depression or the danged anti depressants the pill pusher proscribed her and it became an everyday all day thing.

Alcoholism is a disease, and with proper treatment a person can recover from it. For some it's believing in a higher power or an intense, inpatient twelve-step program; for some it's attending AA meetings; and for some, sadly, it's death. Everyone's definition of rock bottom is as different as there are people who are practicing alcoholics.

Don't be an enabler. It's tough love, but unfortunately, some will not recover until their support system disappears.

Sorry to hear foxkidd. Sure sounds like you've done everything you can to steer him in the right direction.

one thing I have learned is you can't help someone who doesn't want it , many people need to learn this,

My wife has lost 3 of 5 brothers to alcoholism!

Some people never learn .....

Now at 78, I have greatly reduced my alcohol consumption. When I drink I can’t go to sleep, which makes me very mad at myself.

No help for them (alcoholics) until they want help

Unfortunately some never reach the point of wanting help

Hi KIdd this story is too familiar. Prayers sent, while there is still life there is hope.

Cancer is a disease. Drug and alcohol consumption is a choice that can become an addiction.

Ticks me off when people call a deliberate choice a disease like the people have no choice. They do and they choose that path. Unlike childhood cancer or others that had no choice in the matter.

To me it's just giving them an excuse calling it a disease to get out of personal responsibility.

To the op you can't make the change for them they have to want to quit and really mean it not just say it becues they know they should.

I’ve not even had a beer in 50 years and my wife’s allergic to alcohol that’s probably why we are still married. Never had the problem it just never made sense to work so hard and to feel bad later and spend money doing it.

I never understood the appeal of it and the cost people pay that gave up everything to keep doing it at all costs.

If someone says they’re quitting for their spouse or their kids, it generally doesn’t work. You have to quit for yourself. This took me about 3 months to realize. If you quit for someone else, you’ll be in the bottle next time life gets a bit rough.
Yet some say fast food is more dangerous…….
Alcohol may not be the direct cause of issues, but it certainly is the root cause of most. How boring would an officers job be if there was no booze?
If you know what a disease is, you’ll understand why they consider alcoholism as one.
Sorry to hear foxxkid

I agree with this mindset. Some alcoholics decide to give up alcohol cold turkey. They wake up one day and decide that they're done drinking. Nobody can decide to give up cancer. Nobody wakes up one day and decides "you know what? Screw this lung cancer stuff. I'm done with it. As of today, I no longer have cancer".