Sorry to hear this 330.

First of all, very sorry to hear this.

Over 50 years ago, my wife said she wanted a divorce and we separated. She said we could do it without a lawyer. About a month later I got divorce papers. Definitely get a lawyer and advise her to do the same. I'm guessing she will get the same advice.

Is it just a coincidence that Bruce is building an addition or is there something else going on here?

Sorry you're going through this, and yes, get a lawyer, in fact get a consultation with every divorce lawyer around you....that keeps her from using said lawyers....you have to think of it as a war, with appropriate strategy, yes, try to be amiable but have the plan ready, cause she will, more times than not, especially after she talks with her friends..

Best thing? So don't fight with her, both of you get the same lawyer, get everything on paper, and be done.

If you can't agree to and get everything on the paper yourselves then you both need lawyers. That takes more time and money.

Everyone hates the sleazy lawyer until they need one your life will change make sure you come out good enough to enjoy the rest of your life.

Are you in a no contest state? Anything of value you have that she doesn't have tabs on needs to disappear now.

Or you will give her half in mediation...Anything you owned before the marriage is pre-marital property and is yours, anything your family gave you is off limits unless you put her name on it, and might be still if you get the right attorney & judge.

Don't talk to her alone, don't be around her alone, get away from her asap....Don't text her, don't talk to her on the phone without knowing it's probably being recorded.

Retain the best attorney you can, but being a man they can only minimize, your not going to win, your going to survive.

Been there twice, and things are going good now, but it can all change tomorrow for anyone, anytime, anyplace...She's not your friend, she doesn't love you, and she will be a viscous bovine before this is over I promise you.

Goodluck brother, wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Congrats! You the only reason divorces are so expensive is because they’re worth it!

From personal experience get a lawyer and make sure it’s a good one.

Dang sorry for what you're going through Scott. Many of us have been there done that.

25 years ago my first wife and I split after 13 years and a child. I suggested we do it without attorneys and it did work out OK for us. For one, we weren't fighting over things since I had two houses on the farm I gave her the better one, agreed to finish paying off her car, etc etc. So she saw I was being generous. Joint custody of our child week on week off.

She had friends that were insisting she get a lawyer and go for blood but I think she saw I was being a good guy and she was getting a good deal on the split of our stuff.

Had a legal aide draw up the papers for cheap.

Get a lawyer.

It's cheaper to just sell e everything and split the $ more u argue over stuff the more the lawyers get of everything

I was 28 through until i was 31. It's got to be worse for younger children. I got stuck knowing every detail, going back and forth between them, to avoid using a lawyer.

Keith

Sorry to hear that. I did a DYI divorce on my 2nd wife. A few years later she got a new boyfriend and I ended up back in court with a lawyer. It's a pay me now or pay me later situation. Get a lawyer and dont let the lawyers get you to fighting.

Get a GOOD lawyer who has experience in divorces. Don't grab the first name in the book or someone that you know from your area. I have a friend that just went through this (settled this year). It's not pretty for him. His lawyer sucked big time. He he was from his small town area so I'm guessing that's why he went with him. Big mistake on his part IMO. He didn't fight for him at all.

He's 65 and gets to start over after his ex didn't work most of her life. He paid for their mobile home and 7 acres which he kept but he had to pay her out 60K which he had to borrow plus half his retirement. She got around 150K and he also gets to pay her $500 a month while he's working then it drops to $300 a month when he retires. He's a township patrolman and a great guy. Bends over backwards to help people and I don't know of anyone that doesn't like him other than his lying ex.

She's a real gem, 60 y/o been on disability for a few years even though there's nothing wrong with her. She can go on a 10 mile or longer bike ride and can sit in a car for hours driving everywhere but claims she has a bad knee and back. Unfortunately I know her as well and can't stand her. She's a master manipulator in getting sympathy. She lies like a rug. There's more to the story on her but I don't want to type all day and raise my blood pressure.

Don't screw around, GET A GOOD LAWYER!!!

It is cheaper to keep her.

You're absolutely correct. They get vicious quick!

Had a uncle get divorced back in the nineties his wife wanted out.so he asked her what do you want she told him how much money she wanted he had her write it down they both signed it plus 2 witnesses. Then she went got a lawyer and so did he.his lawyer told him that was the smartest thing he could of done to have her sign that piece of paper,even though they went after more money that piece of paper held up in court good luck.when lawyers get involved things can get messy,unfortunately most people need one.

That's a financial fact, but what's your peace of mind worth?

I know some who are doing that, it's sad.

So.....who wants the divorce ??