A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?'

The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.'

______________________________ _______

'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'

'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'

______________________________ _______

A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'

'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'

______________________________ _______

An old woman goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse she has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'

The old woman says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'

______________________________ _______

Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:

1. The DNA all matches.

2. There are no dental records.

______________________________ _______

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'

The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'

'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.

______________________________ _______

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

'How was he killed?' asked one detective..

'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied.

'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?'

'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.'

______________________________ _______

Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'

Joe: 'Really?'

Moe: 'Yeah, until I married her I didn't believe in (This word is unacceptable on Trapperman).'

______________________________ _______

A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.

'I'm O. K. But I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered.

'What did he say,' asked the nurse.

'Oops!'


______________________________ _______

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.

'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'

'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'

He's still in intensive care.

______________________________ _______

The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning,
accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance...

The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there"

My favorite by a long shot! It says so much about the nonsense that's going on today.

There's always that one!

I wonder if there's any truth to that ^ ?

Hey ! Thems our artificial reefs !

(is it thems, or theys )

Those,

Whatever ...... just watch out for the spider bites

Hahaha law dog

Nice one(s) Jerry !
Mine got deleted.
But, those are "kid friendly". Little kids just LOVE em'.

You know I love puppies!

^^^ they don’t die here!!!

A spelling book might be useful.

LOL if you're referring to the meme, that spelling would be correct in EU which may be where it came from.

My dad was on that ship at Normandy.

Luckily there were no hold-ups from a liberal judge. They did their job , without impedance.

I wasn’t even born yet, when the Hanoi Jane thing went down. But that meme rings so true, for me.