I got kind of blindsided tonight when my wife's younger friend called her. She said her boy, age 11, wants to go bowhunting. A little background, my wife has been helping out this young gal, now 30, with 3 boys (11,3 and 2 yrs old) for about 8 years or so. They live close by and at one point about a dozen years ago the gal worked for us for a summer. So her oldest boy has spent a fair amount of time here over the years, my wife treats him well and is always buying him things, etc. So she is pretty fond of the him. Now back to the phone call. So her boy wants to go bowhunting. My reaction was basically, "he's not ready to bow hunt". He has never so much as shot a squirrel with a .22 or any animal for that matter. He needs to learn to respect the animal he hunts. By shooting it, cleaning it and then eating it. It's not just another video game where you shoot imaginary zombies over and over. The next and probably the biggest point I tried to make is the Minnesota rifle hunting season starts tomorrow!! Bowhunting opened in mid September, now he wants to hunt?? I rattled off a dozen reasons why it's not a good idea not to mention at his age he needs an adult to hunt with in the same stand. All of my stands on my property are basically portable stands with the exception of one which would be overly crowded with two. Not to mention I will be rifle hunting myself. Another thing is just last night this gal and her kids came over for supper. They stayed at least two hours and not one time did she or her son mention hunting at all. I know exactly what happened. He went to school and I imagine some of his classmates will be hunting tomorrow. So naturally he wants to hunt too. He comes home and says mom I want to go deer hunting. She doesnt know any better since she barely knows what a deer looks like, so she makes the call. Now my wife put me in the doghouse for being selfish. When a women plants her feet, look out.

I partially blame the state of Minnesota for its liberal youth hunting laws. It says anyone between 10-12 can obtain a free big game license and hunt with an adult and shoot any deer, buck or doe. Ages 13 and over need gun training permit and can hunt solo. There may be a handful of children 10-12yrs who can handle a rifle and even fewer can proficiently shoot a bow. Ive heard too many stories and tracked deer myself of youths who have wounded deer never to be found from inaccurate shots. They see a deer 150 yds away in a field and dad says shoot him, that's a long shot for most children. I'll say no more about the youth laws.

I'd just tell them it's too late this year, but maybe next year, and hope they forget about it by then.

I don't think you're up for that kinda challenge......not with zero notice

I think ADC has the best solution....this late in the game

Ide get him a cheap used bow and a target, show him how to use it and see if he gets proficient or gives up

Id make a deal with him....get a bow learn to shoot until next year
If he sticks with it take him if not dont

If someone wants to hunt my land, they better show up about Thanksgiving time. That is when the work starts for the following year. I spend a 100+ hours a year, mowing, planting cutting, painting and rebuilding stands. Much of this is done while others are fishing, vacationing or doing other "fun" things. It is a priority to me and I am not just going to let someone come in and reap the rewards of my work.

… where’s daddy ?

does he have a bow ?

does he shoot the bow regular?

is it outfitted for hunting or just a target bow?

can he draw a minimum of 45# ?

can he put 3 arrows in a 6 inch circle at 25 yards ?

your not saying no , your saying here is the checklist of things that need to work up deer hunting and one night isn't enough time.

No not jerk. But your ideas on whar kids are capable of when taught from a young age is very far off. Both of my boys now 13 and 15 have each killed at least 25 deer a piece , Have Never lost one and the last 5 they have hunted killed, gutted skinned, and got quartered and in a cooler all on their own.

Both had killed their first 2 by 7. They have shot them with bow , x bow, rifles from 357 mag, 350 legend, 243, and 7mm-08.

Kids are more than capable, its the adults not teaching them and giving them responsibility holding them back.

Sounds like mom picked the wrong guy to sleep with and dad is not around to do the teaching

Green county hit the nail on the head.

Gosh I hate having to agree with PF, lol.

OP I agree you're right not to take the unprepared kid... but dead wrong about your laws being too liberal. I grew up in a state with very strict youth laws and to this day resent the fact that the state robbed me of the opportunity to hunt during the years when I was most ate up with the desire to. But, I had both my dad and grandpa teaching me huning/shooting/archery skills from basically the time I could walk. As PF said, the laws aren't the problem, the parents are... and the kids doing poor shots at 10 likely still will be at 16 due to lack of parental guidance.

All that said... you have a great chance here to really make a difference in that kid's life, and I think you should take it!! Not by taking him hunting right away, but by slowly preparing him how to be a hunter/trapper.

He does have a bow, I have an elevated stand in my yard I use to practice on. Last summer I was off work one day and he was over. I let him shoot all he wanted. First I cranked his bow up to 25 lbs from 20. I’m sure that hasn’t changed. It’s a decent bow that zips arrows pretty well for the poundage. But I believe in Mn it’s 35 minimum and I doubt he can pull that. As far as accuracy, he could hit the target most of the time. He could hit a paper plate 2 of 5 maybe. He’s not ready to hunt. His step dad is a putz who has guns but I’m not sure why. As long as I’ve known him he hasn’t hunted. I told my wife there is 300 acres of state land two miles away his step dad could take him hunting on. In fact I hunted there for a good 5 years exclusively until I bought my home property nearby. It was my only option.

Why they bought him a bow to begin with is puzzling. If his step dad was planning on hunting with him, great, I’m all for it. But my own hunting time is limited. Most evenings I struggle to get a hour or maybe 2 in after work. But once October hits it gets dark fast etc and I don’t get out bow hunting myself. If he were older or grew up in a hunting family it would be a different situation, but it’s not. I just needed to vent a bit tonight, I’m getting the silent treatment from the war dept and I’m trying to wrap my head around how I got tossed into the center of this kind of stupidity. It’s November, bow hunting opened in Sept. it’s cold, after this Sunday, every deer in the area will be spooked until next year, and it’s going to be 20 degrees tomorrow morning. Not a good recipe to sit on a portable stand for an 11 yr old.

I did say there was a handful of kids that are prepared to hunt. The ones that come from a hunting family. I appreciate that. Like I say, I have tracked enough deer shot by kids during the youth hunt to put a bad taste in my mouth. When my daughter was young, she needed to be 13 with a gun safety permit to hunt deer in Mn. That was the minimum age. I’m not sure when that law was dialed back to 10. To me if your permitted to shoot a high power rifle at 10 years old, you should need training at that age, not 3 years later. I don’t want to argue laws, I know there are always exceptions. I’d rather see an 11 yr old shoot a deer with a gun vs a bow. I’ve bow hunted for 40 years and each deer is a challenge, everything needs to go right for a successful hunt.

Not your monkey and not your circus.

Sounds like you need to put your foot down with your wife. If she can't understand your point and defer to your judgment thats an issue bigger than taking an unprepared kid hunting. The kid is not your problem or responsibility the wife on the other hand.

It's too late to have him hunt deer season this season, but I think it would be very kind to start training him to efficiently and ethically hunt next season. The best you can do for anyone is to help them reach their full positive potential. I think it is a very good thing to help new hunters get into our sport.

Being that the kid is close to your wife, I think you should definitely help him out if he has a true interest in learning.

I have taught several of my friends' kids to hunt. I've also taught 3 of my friends to hunt. I honestly enjoy helping them have successful hunts more than having a successful hunt myself. Their excitement and enjoyment levels are much greater than mine after years of hunting, which I still do enjoy. There's something awesome about being with a kid when they get their first deer, or even a squirrel or dove.

Keith

… slap your ol lady on the butt and tell her that there was a time I loved you ….. then head to the honkeytonk and pull an all nighter …. It’s worked for me so far

I can hardly believe the advice I'm seeing given here.
Here's a great opportunity to make a huge difference in this fatherless kids life.
I get way more enjoyment helping and seeing a youngster get started in hunting or trapping than I get out of those pursuits.
Yeah, I think you're being somewhat of a jerk, or selfish; hey, you asked the question.

My $0.02…

You should definitely pop momma on the bottom for starters. Ain’t like you’re gonna be in more trouble, am I right??

Naw you ain’t the jerk. The game deserves more respect than having an unprepared kid slinging stuff at it. Let the family know that if they’re serious, you’ll help the young Buck prepare ahead of time next year and challenge him with some hunting prep related chores around the place while you’re schooling him. Either he’s going to be all in or all out.

Maybe let him get a sit or two in with you this year to see if he even likes it?? Just to observe.

Jerk?
Nah

Could have been a little more tactful I guess

The check list posted above is a valid way of saying he is not ready
A bow is not like a gun, need lots of practice/repetition to pull off a bow hunt
And MINIMUM 35# draw weight, preferably closer to 40

Not a jerk but you seem way too worked up about this.
Just tell the kid and your wife. Practice this year, hunt next year. Period end of conversation. Then take the kid trapping this year and when you shoot a deer go get him and show him how to respect an animal and gut, drag etc....same with trapping.
And about his step dad having guns and not hunting. I have plenty of friends like that and the guns are for home defense. Or maybe they're sentimental and from a family member.

I appreciate all of the input guys, I really do. I wanted differing perspectives and I can take criticism as a learning tool without being offended. I have no issues with teaching him about the outdoors. I gave him an ax and showed him how to split firewood. Since last summer it’s his favorite thing to do when he’s comes over. In fact two nights ago when they were having supper he asked to go out and split more. This time it’s just the timing thing and his mom is the stereotypical “ditzy blond” who comes up with wild ideas on things she isn’t familiar with. This time it’s going hunting the evening before with no knowledge of the sport in general. Anyway, thanks guys, it’s time to roll out and face the 21 degree morning in quest of the whitetail deer. Good luck hunting and trapping, stay safe.

Going to need a lot more practice shooting under his belt for an ethical clean shot. Maybe next year if he works at it.
Jim

you have an opportunity to ask him to come rifle hunting with you, shoot a doe or small buck and get him excited about harvesting a deer, give them some meat, show him how to help his mom provide for the family, if he does get into it, its ok but you tried

We as kids went Hunting with Dad Several times before we were allowed to carry a Gun or Bow.

Learned gun safety, hunting, etiquette and ethics with a stick, then Red Rider.

Does the kid have a hunter safety card?? If not there is your "out" not that you should need one.

https://www.dnr.state.mn.us/safety/index.html

this is where I am...let him sit with you a day or two for rifle season (if you don't tag out today)

I don’t think you are a jerk at all.

I had a nephew that I took deer hunting his last 3 years of youth season. He would spend the night and killed a buck one year and a doe the next the first day for the first 2 years. On year 3, after the morning hunt he told me he couldn’t hunt the evening as he had a party to go to (he was 15 then). Last year he asked if I had been seeing any deer and I told him all we had were young bucks and neither me or my 2 sons would be hunting our land. We would be hunting on one of the family’s farm that was having crop damage and needed doe’s shot. Fast forward till this Tuesday, same nephew comes up and ask if we are seeing any good deer. I tell him we have several nice bucks on camera and have already taken the 2 mature bucks with archery. He informs me he will be out to hunt. I laugh and tell nephew that is not how it works. I explained how permission to hunt should be asked and when. I did give him permission but only if he calls to let me know so I can be there. Our property line is not clearly marked so don’t want him on the neighbors and he has no way of getting a deer out by himself. He also has no idea of where the stands are and I don’t want him wandering around messing up everyone else’s hunt.

Maybe this is martially unacceptable but if your wife is adamant about taking an unprepared youth hunting tell her to take him

Well obviously Big Brothers and a big Sisters isn’t your thing or others….

Your points are probably mostly correct, your approach might not have been the best. You can be a jerk and be right at the same time....

Clearly reading the situation and giving it any thought at all befor posting is not yours.

Would you take a kid bow hunting that can at best hit a paper plat 3 out of 5 times with a 20 lb bow that has not been practicing, does not know anatomy and shot angle placement, and you don't have 2 man stands set up o only getting asked about it the night before the hunt.

Im sure you would jump right on that.

sounds like he has no issue taking him if he put in the work and was prepared. Not the last minute crap and likely loosing a deer if he shoots one.

The issue is not taking the kid its his wife being mad. Myself well.... if my wife did/acted like he says his is she would be down the road. She is being childish and showing him zero respect. I won't tolerate that.

Unfortunately not uncommon with wives, they get mad at you on something they know little or nothing about

The nice thing would have to share a plan of how you will help him aquire the skills to be able to deer hunt instead of telling them 20 reasons why he cant hunt. Now if u just dont want to take him just politely decline

Then they don't respect you or your judgment and let you lead. Even when there is a difference of opinion she needs to know/believe you have her and the families best intres in mind and have respect and confidence in your decision making and leadership. If not and she wants to lead At that point you are the wifeb not the husband.

Yeah. Tell her to get back in the kitchen and be quiet.
The notion that she doesn't respect you because she has a difference of opinion is ridiculous.

Not hard to see who is divorced.
Let her read this thread, well maybe not as she will likely see what kind of things men post about women.

He is not ready and maybe not legal to hunt with that bow, explain that to her.
I would also state that he has a Dad, let him take the kid hunting.

Lots of lonely men on here it sounds like, they tend to get pizzy when they can't get any.

Seems to me that Reaperman's wife doesn't know much about bow hunting.

My sentiments pretty much line up with yours.
I was 'that kid' growing up. Without the selfless mentors outside of my family who recognized my passion for hunting, trapping, fishing and sports and went out of their way to guide me, I hate to think what would have become of me.
As a result of that experience, I have become one of those selfless souls who do what they can to help kids who have no one to guide them.

Taking the kid hunting, and letting him "hunt" are two different things. Take him for a cold morning hunt, dressed appropriately. See if he can sit still, be quiet, be excited about everything he sees. If he can get up early to be miserable and cold, and can't wait to go again, he may have potential. Build on that.

Forget the bow hunting…just take the kid “if” he really wants to go. Explain to him he needs to understand hunting before killing.
And y’all have some of the worst youth laws I’ve ever heard of. Sorry kid, you haven’t passed your requires test so therefore you can’t hunt. I never once forced my kids to go or anyone else’s, but if they asked to go, they went. Personally I don’t think you should take anyone hunting, you appear to be the type to get jealous if they killed something bigger than you killed.
All my ladder stands are 2 man stands just incase someone wants to go. Heck, send the kid down here. We’ll spend half a day shooting rifles and the rest stacking deer. He only gets one buck, but can shoot does until we run out of bullets.
As far as bowhunting, I’d tell him like I told mine. Here’s the bow, here’s how to shoot it, now when you can give my a 4” group of 5 arrows at 20yds we’ll go.

Buy a 12ver, a pack of Malboros, have a sit down boys night. The wommin wont bother you no more.

Your wife does not understand the necessities that must be completed before taking up hunting.

Hunter ed, strength to pull the necessary poundage, shooting a squirrel with a 22 first, boots, cold weather clothing, broad heads, etc.

If you take him now and he wounds a deer and you don't find it, he will think either he failed or the reset button was pressed on a video game.

You are not a jerk. You are being the responsible party in this fiasco. Stand your ground and take him only when he has done the pre season sweat, scouted, hung a stand, practiced with the bow til baseball or less size proficient at 30 yards, and most of all, passed his hunter ed class. And then only if you want to. If you don't want to be a hunting mentor, don't. It will only make his experience a bad one.

This late in the game, with no prior preparation, the boy would simply be a shooter, not a hunter. Lots to learn, and it doesn’t start by pulling the trigger.

An opportunity!!!!! Explain to the young man. It is too late to bow hunt. But why not take him with you one morning or evening. You with the bow. The young man as an observer.

Remember he is only 8 years old. Every 8 year old is different. Could be a great opportunity for you both.

Just shows what has been taken away by politicians. When I was 10 I was hunting deer by myself and hunting squirrels and rabbits by myself at age 6