I've done some 'difficult' jobs in my days, yet few could be more 'taxing' than
carrying for the elderly. I guess I didn't realize all that it entails, when I raised my right hand.
Sleep is, as they say, 'hard to come by' and some nights it's none at all.
Hard then, to go work outside all day, especially in freezing temps.
Still, we do what we can with cost in health care skyrocketing.

Just wondering how many of you have tackled that choir and perhaps how you've dealt with
someone who cries out for others who have already left this world or have no idea where they are.
Sure does let you find out what you're made of . . .

Heavy, to say the least.

I have, and there is more in front of me. My family structure has it spelled out, unless I go first.

Prayer!

LT sending prayers for you. Years ago l had my father in a step down hospital facility after cancer surgery about 4 counties away, and my step mother was in a nursing home following a stroke where she was confined to a bed or sometimes strapped in a wheelchair. She was unable to feed or take care of herself or move around. Prior to Dad’s cancer discovery which l found, l would sit at the nursing home with him as he made sure she was fed every meal. She several times told me about Dad being killed in a plane crash that was on the TV news. This was while Dad was seated next to her feeding her the food. It just broke my heart for him but he never complained.
When Dad had his surgery l would go to the hospital and stay at a motel for 3-4 days then go spend 2-3 days with my stepmom then one day at home.
I figured it was my duty because they fed me and took care of me when l was little and couldn’t take care of myself so l had to take care of them when they were unable to take care of their self.
I was beside my Mom, my Dad and my sister when each of them passed. I will never have any regrets. Just put your trust in God and that he put you in this situation for a reason.
As for me l have several nieces that live several states away so if l fall out I have a DNR and with any luck l will be somewhere in the woods or on the water and nobody will have to fuss over anything. Good luck to you.

I'm taking care of my parents and some days it's tough. But love gets me through it all. Mom has Alzheimers and was more difficult when she had dementia. Thankfully the dementia has past. Dad use to be able to take care of her but now has difficulty walking and is starting to have memory issues of his own. As you say it can be "taxing" . I found out you learn as you go. Ive also found out many of us go through this time in our life.
Hang in there LT GREY my prayers are with you and your loved ones.

My sister and her husband owned a home for dementia patients for many years, They cared for people in the final stages of life and made really good money at it, but after about 20+ years of doing it they just couldn't take it any more and just about snapped. They had to quit and sell the home. She told me they had 39 people die in their house over the years.

Have not gone through what you are but know the situation you describe and how it taxes those in your position

My grandmother had alzheimer's and it is a very cruel disease to those who have it as well as those around them

My MIL is 89 and in a nursing home because the amount of care she needs is more than we can provide 24/7

My wife quit her job 2 years ago to be able to assist her parents and it is a burden on her and to an extent I with all it involves.

I feel we owe as much as we can give back to parents since they provided for us

Prayers for you LT as you go through this with your loved one

Been there.
My Dad was perfectly lucid until the last couple days.
Started talking to LONG gone relatives like they were in the room with us.
Funny thing, I'm not sure they weren't.

and a day or two after they pass and you sleep like 12-13 hours strait like you hadn't in years , it hits you how tired you were.

my wife was lucid nearly till the end her last day she could hardly communicate at all.

Prayers sent.

Thanks to everyone who replied.

First and foremost, I would never ask anyone to pray for me. . .not personally.
Not to say I have not for others. Save those for someone who is worthy. I am not.
A bird will fall dead from it's perch having never felt sorry for itself

That said, I do appreciate kind thoughts to an old man who lies dying, who constantly cries and begs for help.
Seeming disoriented and talks to people who have passed on.

And so, I turn to you . . .any of you who have found yourself in this situation and almost at wits end.
Not knowing just what to say or do.

This isn't a member of my own family, but a family I know who doesn't have money for around the clock care.
I volunteered to be, well, the night watchman of sorts, 9 00 pm until 9 00 am the next morning.
He sleeps the day away only to be up all night trying to get out of bed, for which he has no real strength to do so.
Clear to say, sleep does not come easily as I try to give comfort to an old man . . .
And I'm not cut out to be a caregiver.

Could have said : Not my problem. Not my fault.
And yet . . .

Call it a debt repaid. I have not forgotten those who helped me in my hour of need.


It has been one of the hardest tasked I have endured.
Mostly because I am not trained for this type of situation and watching someone die, well not easily done, (unless they were your enemy)
At times I doubt everything I believed isn't real.
That Heaven doesn't exist and this is all there is.


Still, I have enough compassion to do what I can for someone who can not provide all that is needed.

There but by the 'Grace of God, go I . . .

Prayers sent for strength and comfort

I hear

Its rough!

It takes a special someone, my wife is a nurse.. she cut her teeth in a nursing home still works prn, but only thing she has told me, when I've asked this same question... no one deserves to die alone! No matter the what you go through, they are going through worse. And all they have is love, memories and everything is giving up at once they hold on as long as they can, and in a blink of an eye they will have nothing left on earth. And no one should go through that alone! All you can do is talk to them, allow them to say what they need to say, remember what they want to remember and express the love they had for that someone because they know its the last time they can.. not sure its for me, put God place people in situations they need to be placed in. Blessings will follow! Hold tight because for some reason I believe your there for a reason!

May God bless you and the man and family you are caring for. This is a great example of what loving your neighbor really means.

LT you sir are a very strong man the end of life is what most dont like to even think about but are often called to give care and show love to someone desperetly in need of help
most couldnt do what you have been able to do every night its obvious the tree your cut-from has an incredible base and respect for people who need help
your parents would be incredibly proud of what your managing to do
it will come to a point that you will not be able to help them anymore but just be there when they stress because they just want to know that they are not alone when they open there eyes
and i believe that when they call-out to people who have already passed that there seeing the spirts there to reasure them that they will be loved and safe when its time to let go
we all wish to go not in a box(hospital) rather cleaning up a pocket set or snappin a coon hide dry or somewhere in nature trying to solve all its riddles and in mid-stride
as far as belief in the otherside i promise you that it exists i have seen the otherside and it is nothing to fear
god bless you sir
Bob

Went through this with me FIL and my mom. Just be there and comfort them as needed. My mom kept calling for my previously deceased brother, her son and saying her father said it was not time to go. Brings a grown man to tears but Jesus will keep you strong.

God Bless You and yours

Im a country pastor, so I dont have a large flock. Ministering to those that are in the process of passing and their families is probably the toughest part of the calling. It is also the part when im needed most. Hang in there LT, you are there for a purpose than most could not do.