I used to eat a lot of natural foods, until I learned that so many people die of natural causes.
Does anyone know what disease cured ham actually had?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies usually wake up every two hours?
Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would ever eat?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island could make a radio out of a coconut, why could he not fix a hole in the boat?
HOW DID THE MAN WHO MADE THE FIRST CLOCK, KNOW WHAT TIME IT WAS?
Wait, Wait, They Get Better...
I too was once a male trapped in a female body ... but then my mother gave birth.
When I lost a few fingers on my right hand in a freak accident, I asked the doctor if I would still be able to write with it. He said, "Probably, but I wouldn't count on it.
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they are not a robot.
When a child says "Daddy, I want Mommy" that's their version of "I'd like to speak to your supervisor."
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say CLOSE ENOUGH.
Last night the internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like decent people.
For those of you that don't want Alexa or Siri listening in on your conversation, they are making a male version ... it doesn't listen to anything!
I just got a present labeled, 'From Mom and Dad', and I know very well that Dad has no idea what is inside.
I have many hidden talents. I just wish I could remember where I hid them.
Apparently, exercise helps you with decision-making... It is so true!
I went for a run this morning and decided I'm never going to do that again!
