So mom fell and broke a hip on 9/3 that required surgery. She is 85 and has other health issues that have compromised her sight and ability to speak. She is of sound mind and feeble body and was using a white board to communicate in assisted living. A couple of days after surgery she started to refuse any treatment or therapy and said that she was tired and just done. So now we watch her lay in bed and waste away. At what point is this not cruelty? We treat our animals more humanity than this.

Vote for Dr asited suicide political parties if that's what you think is the answer.

I watched my Grandfather starve to death in a nursing home. You could watch his every heart beat in his throat from across the room, see every rib, and his wrist watch would go all the way to his shoulder.

I don't think he would have had no feeding tube or life support request if he would have realize how long and how he would die starved with his body cannibalizing it's self like the holocaust victims he liberated in wwII

But he would never choose suicide.

I watched my sweet grandmother turn mean and hateful with dementia even telling one of the young grand daughters she was going to kill her. Was thought to watch. They finally just drugged her to a slobbering vegetable tell she died.

Watched my other grandmother die from cancer same as my grandfather at the top.

It's though what do you suggest? Put a pillow over her head when there are not nurses in the room?

It sucks but we will all be there if we live long enough. I often felt the same way and would be lying if I said it didn't cross my mind to help my wife grandmother along more quickly. Especially after knowing what was coming from seeing it with all my grandparents before hers went down hill. It's is a natural part of living and as natural as dieing. It's never easy to watch. Just be there for her is about all you can do.

PF, I am sorry for your losses. This is my fourth time through this and I realize what a pandoras box it is. Maybe no right answer. Just wondering what others thought.

Sorry to hear, I hope I die settling beaver traps.

Some die fast, Some die slowly

Watched both parents and my best friend fight it and then they gave up and waited---a long time.....months of suffering. You feel like you owe them help on their last wish of you. Horrible and I think of it all the time. The most cruel thing there is to them and us.......jk

Dr. Kavorkian had it right.

I feel your pain, went through the same thing with my Mom. Not much you can do except visit her as much as you can. The covid pandemic made it worse , because I could not visit my Mom except stand outside the window in the snow.

oilwell. Great post. Thought provoking. Thanks for posting

In my opinion there is a difference between suicide and death with dignity. If you are told by doctors that you have less than six months and are of sound mind you might make that choice for a number of reasons. Maybe you don't want to put your family through the process or have your assets eaten away by medical bills.

This. 100000000000000%
Been with my. Wife since she we were 16 her grandmother introduced us. I loved that woman dearly. During covid she got bad. We would stand outside her room at the nursing home. Being ther real she was she would open the window and remove the screen to get her hugs.

She finally passed in the hospital during covid. They did let two people up to sit with her. Tell 9pm. We live hrs away and got there after 9 went up anyway. Exceeded the 2 they allowed. They seemed to know better than to try to tell us to leave. Eventually n I had to leave to get homefor.my kids my wife stayed tell.she died.

It ws the worst family death I have been there for. She was in so much pain begging God to take her when she could make a sound. I'm telling you it was the hardest thing knowing I could end her suffering and not doing it.

Maybe you can talk your mother into at least taking pain medication?

My sister's father inlaw broke his hip.
93 Years old , then they found he had cancer.
They wanted to do a hip replacement, any way.
He told them in not so nice of words , NO!

I'm sitting in a nursing home right now. Same situation mother on law broke her hip last Sunday. She had surgery Monday and is in here. She has dementia and doesn't remember a lot. She asks the same thing over and over. I agree this is far worse than dying on everybody. She has no quality of life. I hope it doesn't happen to me or my wife. I agree Kevorkian had it right.

I watched my Mother and wife go that way. Hospice kept them sedated. Some disagree with Hospice, but it eases the pain.
I was administering my Mom’s meds as she was at home with Dad. At one point I fell behind. The moaning she made from pain was unbearable. I never failed again. In fact days later, as I was putting her dose of morphine under her tongue she passed.
Wife passed in a Hospice center, so no pain for her, but in a coma for 11 days.
Dad was different. WWII vet. Tough old bird. Died at 90. Had congestive heart failure. Begged me not to place him in a nursing home. I saw to it that didn’t happen.
This was going on at the same time as my wife was in the early stages of dying from cancer. My Brothers were both dead so only I was there for Dad. Three days before he passed Hospice said he had a stroke. I sat beside him those 3 days by myself. No hospital bed! He died sitting up with jeans, a shirt and slippers on in a recliner I’d bought him for Father’s day. Tough, tough, old bird!!!
But suicide??Nope.

So sad sorry for everyone involved, it is horrible.......jk