My heart goes out for you and your wife. We need more people of your caliber to step up to the plate in this country. A few years ago, I was doing a job for a man that just had his granddaughter dropped off and the mother said she had it! We were building a handicap ramp (granddaughter was handicapped) and he was a retired Teamster and was going back to work 2 days a week to help with additional bills. Can't wrap my head around the thousands of people facing this scenario.

Roy,
If you don’t adopt the kids and they remain “in the Michigan system”. They will take care of the college bills, Dr bills, etc for you. My wife and I were foster parents for our 2 nephews.

My hat is off to you sir

I'm sure a small % of those are not able to due to health or other valid reasons other than I just don't want to. The rest well if that is how they are it's no wonder their kids grew up and became crap parents. If you don't take care of your kids and they are not #1 priority in your life I have a hard time believing you should be breathing. and that's why I asked how those in that situation cope with being in that position. It's got to be a mind trip similar to what I felt with after my son was killed. The irrational thought like it's my fault, what could I have done differently, and on and on it went. My wife was driving and tried to put the claim on herself with things like I should have seen the truck that ran the light. It's just how our minds work.

so there is a lot more to it than the huge life changing responsibility of raising kids again.

yooper 1978, we were told we good foster them, but they could be adopted out at any time, and could end up anywhere in the state ??

Your Heart is Right

Some Day it'll be worth it

I don't know your exact circumstances, but I can tell you I understand. The last 15 years has been a roller coaster of rebuilding life for us. Thanks to Bill Clinton and Obama working to deregulate the banks back in the Clinton era, we got trapped with houses under construction that were defaulted on. Long story short is I was foolish enough to pay all my contractor and didn't consider a bankruptcy. Should have! So after getting sucked dry, we fell into a situation of taking in my parents and me being the sole provider for them. Been a long road and the paths have changed many times along the way.

For me at least, its all about the memories I have. Can strip me of houses, trucks, boats, and all my toys. But no way will anyone be able to take away the memories and experiences I have. That is more valuable than gold in my life

sometimes bad stuff happens and you end up in the situation your in

but a lot of the time it is a multi-generational issue with addiction and life choices that leads to such situations

yes [ you are right green] her father was an addict I adopted her when she was 3-4, she never knew her father, but she loved her dad, but she just cant beat this addiction, hopefully some day she will, I just pray to the lord that these children don't become addict,

That's tough. mom adopted 3 girls.and a boy all full siblings. All have had different issues as adults. Last I heard my brother was in jail( he has 2 or.kids with different girls and a 2nd on the way with one of them. one he lost rights to and was adopted by the girls boyfriend. The youngest girl doesn't have her kids they are currently with one of the grandparents and not but one of the kids are her grand kid all the kids have different dads. Those are the youngest two and the ones that got the most drugs when their mother was pregnant. The oldest does OK works hard and functions only has one kid. yet still likes pills just manages to not let it control her. The 2nd girl had aa couple kids into the cutest bi racial boy you ever saw about 4 and a new baby with here current live in boyfriend and she seems to be doing OK or even well considering.


Genetics play a huge part in how we turn out more so than how we are raised or despite how we are raised is the conclusion I came to from my personal experience. Now last time I posted this folks that had adopted kids took offense. That's is OK I'm just relaying MY personal experience. That doesn't mean all adopted kids from bad homes will struggle but a large % will. With the limited info on your situation it sounds like this may be the case your in. I know it's difficult to watch my brother and sis struggle the youngest two I change their diapers on when they were babies. I want to love them and beat some since into them at the same time.

I was on the childcare committee at my church and I am currently a child care facility inspector. It is amazing how many dysfunctional families are out there being held together by the grands or great grands.

I understand the part about not wanting to give up your blood grandchild to adoption. Its a very hard call. Especially when retirement is within your grasp.

I will pray for your children and you and your wife's strength and endurance.

You were at the end of the marathon and they added 10 more miles. I am very sorry.

I wish you all the best. This real life issue is a difficult thing to deal with. Pray and giving it all you can to make these young people to find the right road to take.

I have always believed that if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.

I just don't get why life is so dang hard. God bless.