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Chuck Norris-isms #8360596
03/08/25 11:02 PM
03/08/25 11:02 PM
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,995
New York border
Cragar Offline OP
trapper
Cragar  Offline OP
trapper

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,995
New York border
Tons of Chuck Norris jokes out there , ran into this one just recently.



During WWII the USA had 2 options regarding Japan.
(1) Use an atomic weapon
(2) Drop in Chuck Norris






We chose the humane option. laugh



Post your fav Chuck Norris joke.


NRA benefactor member
Re: Chuck Norris-isms [Re: Cragar] #8360609
03/08/25 11:42 PM
03/08/25 11:42 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,420
Mt.
g smith Offline
trapper
g smith  Offline
trapper

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,420
Mt.
He built the hospital he was born in .


You can ride a fast horse slow but you can't ride a slow horse fast .
Re: Chuck Norris-isms [Re: Cragar] #8360620
03/09/25 12:07 AM
03/09/25 12:07 AM
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 9,055
Firth, Nebraska
jabNE Offline
trapper
jabNE  Offline
trapper

Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 9,055
Firth, Nebraska
When chuck norris left for college, he turned to his father and said, your the man of the house now pops.


Money cannot buy you happiness, but it can buy you a trapping license and that's pretty close.
Re: Chuck Norris-isms [Re: Cragar] #8360626
03/09/25 12:26 AM
03/09/25 12:26 AM
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,995
New York border
Cragar Offline OP
trapper
Cragar  Offline OP
trapper

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,995
New York border
Best 1:38 of Chuck Norris making fun of Chuck Norris on film. From 'Expendables 2 '



NRA benefactor member
Re: Chuck Norris-isms [Re: Cragar] #8360640
03/09/25 01:50 AM
03/09/25 01:50 AM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 5,083
Illinois
foxkidd44 Offline
trapper
foxkidd44  Offline
trapper

Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 5,083
Illinois
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories
Chuck Norris CAN slam a revolving door
When dr banner gets mad he turns into the hulk, and when the hulk gets mad he turns into chuck Norris


Stand by your principles, Stand by your guns, and victory complete and permanent is sure at last.
Abraham Lincoln
Re: Chuck Norris-isms [Re: Cragar] #8360691
03/09/25 08:05 AM
03/09/25 08:05 AM
Joined: Jun 2022
Posts: 3,515
Manitoba
Shakeyjake Offline
trapper
Shakeyjake  Offline
trapper

Joined: Jun 2022
Posts: 3,515
Manitoba
I heard he doesn’t use a razor to shave, he roundhouse kicks his beard off……the only thing that can cut Chuck, is Chuck.

My T has some similar ones.


Wind Blew, crap flew, out came the line crew
Re: Chuck Norris-isms [Re: Cragar] #8360726
03/09/25 09:12 AM
03/09/25 09:12 AM
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 5,859
Aliceville, Kansas 45
Yukon John Offline
trapper
Yukon John  Offline
trapper

Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 5,859
Aliceville, Kansas 45
Chuck Norris hit my Dad before I was born...I still have a black eye.


Act like a blank, get treated like a blank. Insert your own blank!
Re: Chuck Norris-isms [Re: Cragar] #8360732
03/09/25 09:24 AM
03/09/25 09:24 AM
Joined: Mar 2023
Posts: 3,168
WI
WI Outdoors Offline
trapper
WI Outdoors  Offline
trapper

Joined: Mar 2023
Posts: 3,168
WI
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck doesn't sleep, he waits.
Chuck was born with that beard.

Re: Chuck Norris-isms [Re: Cragar] #8360749
03/09/25 09:54 AM
03/09/25 09:54 AM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 5,083
Illinois
foxkidd44 Offline
trapper
foxkidd44  Offline
trapper

Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 5,083
Illinois
Chuck Norris can text on a landline …😂😂

Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer, but he never cries.

2. Chuck Norris can talk to animals, and they always obey.

3. Chuck Norris's favorite food is lightning, and his favorite drink is thunder.

4. Chuck Norris can make a snowman out of rain.

5. Chuck Norris's favorite hobby is knitting razor-sharp blankets.

6. Chuck Norris can strangle a tree with just a glance.

7. Chuck Norris's favorite sport is extreme ironing.

8. Chuck Norris can turn a tornado into a gentle breeze with a single punch.

9. Chuck Norris's favorite book is the phone book, and he's read it cover to cover.

10. Chuck Norris can make a rock climb a tree


Stand by your principles, Stand by your guns, and victory complete and permanent is sure at last.
Abraham Lincoln
Re: Chuck Norris-isms [Re: Cragar] #8360751
03/09/25 09:55 AM
03/09/25 09:55 AM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 5,083
Illinois
foxkidd44 Offline
trapper
foxkidd44  Offline
trapper

Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 5,083
Illinois
Chuck was asked if he was fast enough to run around the world and punch himself in the back of his head.....
He said "No".

I would hear me coming and block the punch.


Stand by your principles, Stand by your guns, and victory complete and permanent is sure at last.
Abraham Lincoln
Re: Chuck Norris-isms [Re: Cragar] #8360752
03/09/25 10:01 AM
03/09/25 10:01 AM
Joined: Jan 2021
Posts: 204
NM
R
RFrame Offline
trapper
RFrame  Offline
trapper
R

Joined: Jan 2021
Posts: 204
NM
When Chuck Norris does a push-up he doesn’t push himself up, he pushes the earth down.

Re: Chuck Norris-isms [Re: Cragar] #8360783
03/09/25 10:48 AM
03/09/25 10:48 AM
Joined: Mar 2023
Posts: 3,168
WI
WI Outdoors Offline
trapper
WI Outdoors  Offline
trapper

Joined: Mar 2023
Posts: 3,168
WI
Chuck eats unicorn meat because he like his steaks rare.

Re: Chuck Norris-isms [Re: Cragar] #8360795
03/09/25 10:58 AM
03/09/25 10:58 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 49,562
Northern Maine
Bruce T Online content
trapper
Bruce T  Online Content
trapper

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 49,562
Northern Maine
[Linked Image]


NRA,NTA,MTA,FTA

#1 goal=Trap a wolverine
Re: Chuck Norris-isms [Re: Cragar] #8360805
03/09/25 11:13 AM
03/09/25 11:13 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 49,562
Northern Maine
Bruce T Online content
trapper
Bruce T  Online Content
trapper

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 49,562
Northern Maine
[Linked Image]


NRA,NTA,MTA,FTA

#1 goal=Trap a wolverine
Re: Chuck Norris-isms [Re: Cragar] #8360808
03/09/25 11:14 AM
03/09/25 11:14 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 49,562
Northern Maine
Bruce T Online content
trapper
Bruce T  Online Content
trapper

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 49,562
Northern Maine
[Linked Image]


NRA,NTA,MTA,FTA

#1 goal=Trap a wolverine
Re: Chuck Norris-isms [Re: Cragar] #8360875
03/09/25 12:49 PM
03/09/25 12:49 PM
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 15,061
Ky
J
jbyrd63 Online content
trapper
jbyrd63  Online Content
trapper
J

Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 15,061
Ky
Chuck Norris wears fur. Goes thru 2 muskrats a year for his hair piece.

Re: Chuck Norris-isms [Re: Cragar] #8360882
03/09/25 01:12 PM
03/09/25 01:12 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 49,562
Northern Maine
Bruce T Online content
trapper
Bruce T  Online Content
trapper

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 49,562
Northern Maine
[Linked Image]


NRA,NTA,MTA,FTA

#1 goal=Trap a wolverine
Re: Chuck Norris-isms [Re: Cragar] #8361153
03/09/25 08:10 PM
03/09/25 08:10 PM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,839
OK
Aaron Proffitt Offline
trapper
Aaron Proffitt  Offline
trapper

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,839
OK
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.


Honor a Soldier. Be the kind of American worth fighting for.
Re: Chuck Norris-isms [Re: Cragar] #8361158
03/09/25 08:12 PM
03/09/25 08:12 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 49,562
Northern Maine
Bruce T Online content
trapper
Bruce T  Online Content
trapper

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 49,562
Northern Maine
[Linked Image]


NRA,NTA,MTA,FTA

#1 goal=Trap a wolverine
Re: Chuck Norris-isms [Re: Cragar] #8361159
03/09/25 08:13 PM
03/09/25 08:13 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 49,562
Northern Maine
Bruce T Online content
trapper
Bruce T  Online Content
trapper

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 49,562
Northern Maine
[Linked Image]


NRA,NTA,MTA,FTA

#1 goal=Trap a wolverine
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