Buddah face.......everything is great ..Buttah Face

Midwest version...If brains were gasoline you wouldn't have enough to fuel a [Please excuse my language... I'm an idiot] ants go-cart around a Cherrio.

thats as messed up as a football bat

Happier then a 2 peckerd billy goat in a pen full off nannies
hungrier thean a gut shot coyote

Hotter than a fresh f'd fox in a forest fire!

He's so skinny he as to stand twice in the same place to make a decent shadow.
I'll bounce you so hi they'll have to shoot you to keep you from starving to death.
He's so tight you couldn't pull a needle out of his butt with a tractor.
fat chicks..warm in the winter, shade in the summer.

If you told that girl to "haul @ss" she would have to make two trips.

Like a midget at a urinal I'm on my toes.

So skinny if he turned sideways and hung his tongue out he'd look like a zipper.
I'm so broke if it cost a nickel to chit I'd have to vomit.
Goofier than a coot.
Has a face only a mother could love.
If you want to loose 50lbs of ugly fat? cut you head off!
If he had a brain he'd probably take it out and play with it.


Mac

"Beats looking at the north end of a southbound mule."
Her butt is 2 1/2 axe handles across
"Put his brain in a humming bird, it would suck a mules a.. for a morning glory."
"Like a dose of salts through a widow woman."
"Thicker than the hair on a cats back."
"As full of crap as a Christmas goose on Thanksgiving."

ttt

If he told you a rooster could pull a freight train, you had better hook him up.

Harder than a preachers prick in a calves @ss.

I have seen monkey crap fights in the zoo more organized!

He is slower than pond water.

When faced with a decision where both choices are less than desireable.

It's like having a shark in one hand and an alligator in the other - they both gonna bite.

Champagne tastes on a beer budget.

SLOWER THAN A BUS LOAD OF OLD WOMEN HEADED TO A BINGO GAME.
FITS LIKE A FIST IN THE A--.
IF YA PLANT CORN YA GET CORN.
THAT MUST'VE SCATTERED HIS CHICKENS.
WASN'T SLEEPING, JUST CHECKING MY EYE LIDS FOR CRACKS.
THAT BOY COULD WELD THE CRACK OF DAWN.
FEEL LIKE I JUST WALKED ON A PORN SET, TOTALLY UNDER GUNNED.
HE'S THE SMARTEST GUY ON THE SHORT BUS.

Some people would complain if you hung them with a new rope.

You'll never drown if you were meant to Hang!

Mac