That's where i'm at right now

330-trapper …you going thru a divorce too??

I'll just say this....Don't settle!.....You will probably go through a few, until you find the one who your really supposed to be with.

When you do find her, you will feel like you won the lottery, and wonder how in the world you ever lived without her.

No sense in voluntarily being alone, because the right woman will brighten your world tremendously.

Thank you!! That is what I am hoping for!! I still like woman and think I still have my mojo!!

Last year about this time as I recall. Since then he has been getting more butt than a public toilet seat.

Hahahaha!!!

grandma taught all the grandsons to Polka , basically insure you could dance to at least 4 songs at any Wisconsin wedding.
Grandma and Grandpa met at a USO dance at the end of WWII grandpa was Navy.
that generations socializing was very much dances , when they retired they spent time in a 55+ campground all winter in AZ that had weekly dances at the club house.
they were in mid week square dancing club both in AZ and back here in WI.

The night of my wife's memorial some friends who came to the memorial were having a barn dance.
A good friends wife asked me if I could dance I told her Polka and slow were my only 2 speeds.
so in the middle of a barn dance that was primarily country line dance , we had a Polka.

Repeated a Polka at each of the dances they have had since then.

made me realize I needed to get in better shape also , I can walk all day with a pack or paddle a canoe but jumping around for 4 minutes was a work out.
got to doing cardio , lifting and working on how long I can jump rope for , I am not much good at it but it is getting better.

was watching some 60 minutes type program they were doing a long format interview with a Dr. who studied human longevity. when asked what is the best measure of human longevity they quickly said the 2 most measurable factors are toe strength and balance.
It's the fall that kills you in so many cases.

that was what got my grandma , Grandpa's Kidneys shut town at 84 and he passed , she kept dancing a little after that but not near as much. she fell at 91 and broke her hip , that is what did her in , the surgery went fine but she didn't do all the PT to get back to walking well. then covid hit very shortly after she got out of the nursing home to assisted living , covid was incredibly hard on most everyone living in such a facility , the isolation , they were brought meals in their little apartments it was phone calls not visits and when they did work out visits once the weather was better it was an hour 2x a week max in a tent out on the lawn had to schedule the times. her mental state went down hill during 2020

she passed at 95 in 2023

any way what is there to be self conscious about any more , 2025 kicked my butt.
lived my worst nightmares Diagnosis in January stage 4 cancer to death in July.
in November I was in a car accident hauled out of a car by 4 firemen. I left on a stretcher with a bunch of broken stuff including a fractured vertebrae , I am walking , even running now , back to jump rope even.
I was actually lucky to live in the car accident a tiny bit different and I was a goner or at least never walking again. Spent 3 nights in the hospital.
I credit the 2 moths prior to the car accident I had been hitting the gym hard with being able to take the impact I did and not get any more injured than I did. maybe there was divine help also I have no idea what his plan is only that I am subject to it no point in fighting it can't change it anyway.
got back to walking as soon as I could and worked back up from there.

so trying dancing
heck I am trying Yoga as well , it forces the stretching I don't put enough of in my workouts , the gym has twice a week yoga classes all included in my membership I am the only man in that room.

I am not asking anyone out at the gym that is their safe space to work out as well. most of the women in the yoga class and dance class are a bit old for me any way and the rest appear to be married. I am there for the the stretching and learning.

we will see what comes of it , it's personal improvement and that is all it needs to be. maybe I will meet someone at barn dances , maybe I won't.
either way I did the difficult stuff last year. we will see how this year goes.

I'd love to hear the wife's side of it.

read a good explanation of it but can't remember it now , basically you start by learning everything over again.
your first thought is I should tell them...............and you realize you can't
all your routines , you relearn to do them alone.
all your traditions like holidays , you relearn them the new way without her.
there were 5 areas listed in the article and I can't remember them but you learn to live alone well.

and you need to learn to live alone because , it isn't till you are ready to say no to a woman that you are ready to start looking again. because you are likely going to have to go through a few to find the right fit and not end up miserable like many of these divorced guys because you didn't choose wisely you choose the first one to come along to ease your pain.

I’m not free of mistakes in this. I was not able to find a way to keep my mouth shut about her liberal ideology and her moral values being bestowed upon our kids. . I let it bother me too much. I was judgmental about it. I tried to get her to change who she is. I wanted her to take the news, her ideology and the liberal activism out of our marriage. I did not like her going to pride parades and volunteering to hand out condoms and needles for the addicts and celebrating this lifestyle. When I spoke my mind about the liberal ideology she took it as criticism. I was not able to find the kindest softest words to express myself without offending her. In her mind I did not accept her 100%. She may be right in feeling that but I still accepted her even with the things I did not like. Someday I hope to get to a point of forgiveness towards her for her ideologies and understand that is just who she is.

Loneliness sucks. Just turned 64. My wife of 30 years went to sleep and didn't wake up. Totally unexpected. If I wouldn't have had our 2 little dogs here I probably would have started drinking again till I was gone. Loneliness and grief suck.

I think it depends entirely on the person. There are anti-social hermits who only want the peace and quiet of solitude and prefer living alone. They are happy just being alone.

Then there are the social people........who if forced to be alone would go berserk. I know of several who, if you wanted to torture them, put them in a home alone. They could do anything they want, just no contact with people in the outside world. They would crack and spill their guts inside of 48 hours. Or commit suicide. They just can't be alone.

I hear you
there are actually a lot of women in their late 50s and early to mid 60s looking , maybe it isn't a second wife

a friends mother is in her 70s and she has a boy friend they both keep their own houses they live about a 90 minute drive away , he comes and sees her for about 2 long weekends a month.
nice guy met him a few times when he was in town.

he is dealing with his elderly parents so he had to go do Dr.s appointments and stuff often during the week
some times he stays a bit longer.
probably smart for her she has been married 3-4 times
they take cruises and travel together a couple maybe 3 weeks a year.

got to say that actually don't sound like too bad of a deal , keep your own houses spend time together when you want to and don't when you don't.

seems to be working for them and some other people I know.

I've been lonely before, but never so lonely that I'd go dancing.

Well, I just turned 61 in Jan and have been married for 35 years to the same women.
Went to school from the first grade through the 12th with her.
She married after school and it didnt last but 3 years.
I more or less lived with a woman for 6 and a half years while she was married.
7 years after we graduated, she was in NC and me in Va and started calling.
In 6 months we was married. Thought I'd found the 1...
Had 3 kids and all are over 21 now. I put up with way too much (This word is unacceptable on Trapperman)
in all them years and 2 years ago I told her I was done with her.
She felt the same I guess cause all she said was OK, and yes
when I had my talk with her. She had us in bad debt cc wise and
hadn't had a job since our last kid was born. Since that day, I have
been happier than I'd been in years. She is a narcissist. She has since got a job and we still live in the
same house but seldom talk. I do what I want when I want and she does the same.
Didnt mean for this to be this long but it is.
Do what it takes to be happy. And all 3 kids told me they had seen what
I went through and didnt blame me at all.
Hope you can be as happy as I am now...

I'm right there with you, brother.

They all make us feel like we won the lottery. Lol. That's the game they play and they trick us.... remember women are evil. Eve took the first bite of the apple.

Liquid courage dude. Haha

If you seriously think they all make you feel like you won the lottery, stay out of Vegas, Lol

Going thru this. Long story short. Both 54 and raising a 6 year old grandson. Both parents are deadbeats but it is what it is. My big thing is with the cost of living that I can't afford two households. We're almost at the point of being mortgage free on a farm that I worked my tail off to pay for while she worked at the school earning not much better then minimum wage if you figured it out per year, but she tells me she made a difference. Big effing deal she could of made a difference going to work 5 days a week every week financially in our house. She figures sell the farm and we'll split it and go our separate ways. I'm not really liking that idea because I dont want to start all over again. I want to be fair and make sure that they got everything they need but I cant do that while making sure I got everything I need. Every way a look at it spells financial ruin or a unhappy house hold. Danmed if I do darned if don't.